...
new moon
"just let me sleep,"
moon eaten
my absence upsets all.
Look at me, really look at me,
stare up at the belly of a loved sky,
watch fingers dipping into bowls of blood holding hope,
feeling around for a sliver,
of sweet milk,
of relief,
of anything;

new moon whispers
on the dead bodies left behind,
god sighs---
he knows;

"I am not the same"

waxing crescent
map out my wreckage,
my skeleton of poetry;
in the spines of books loved by mankind,
bury me there in a pages of flowers---
in the altitude of words;
read me with a hunger you have never known before,
over and over;
whenever it seems fit~
like the light of the moon is a cigarette.

smoking,
he's always smoking now.
god takes another drag;
he describes to me:

"You could be my bible,
you book of blood"

I can't stand smoke...

"I have no business in being your  holy snakeskin."

first quarter
I've been searching for
solid ground, solid shadows,
a solid compromise;

I wanted a little more
than ordinary love from him so I

asked him where the static began,
for me it's below my bottom left rib
and found that it was also where the spiders started too.

Time, that quiet thing
obeys god, only
because it waits for no one

it loves
unzipping the law of alchemy,
cause ink flowered in my blood again;
I should thank time
it was this saving kind of grace;
always has been

god stroked my hair this time
and said quietly:

"You see,
the saddest thing is realizing
that there's nothing more they can do for you"

waxing gibbous
Oh, where's my love?
Is it in the fever I call happiness,
is it in the sword my mama raised me to be

Is it in the way
the moon tiptoes closer
when he says my name
in that beautiful way he does

or breaks my name
over his teeth like it's just
glass apples

God doesn't even look at me
he doesn't have to;

"Do you believe in angels?"

the wreckage answers him
"not lately"

full moon
And it begins again
I watch as he just looks away
and says it's fine
it hurts

god narrows his eyes but shrugs

"Pain had other plans for you."

I breathe out raggedly;

"I guess,
if there's no key
then I'll just swallow the whole door."
...

I never really listened to the real me.

Hello for now,
Goodbye for later.
Nothing really happened,
In your eyes.
Everything you thought were real,
Were just an illusion.

I used to ignore my real feelings.

Blank eyes,
Full of darkness.
Happy smiles,
With unnoticed words.
Thoughts,
They’re like poison.

I couldn’t love my true self.

Hands,
They act before thinking.
Feelings,
Ruining it all.
Everything you see,
Is not me.

I didn’t acknowledge myself.*

Its back,
The tears.
I’m back,
More real than before.
Can’t go back,
I realised reality.

Street sampling word, pierced on its side...

work zone cones the wickedest witch

cruel-worlds under.

Cab meters left running,

ante upping ante.

Wheatpaste wars boom-blocking,

moonlighting black

gum splotches under years of feet.


Millions of ways of home, trample-trials in this

stink-thick Dutch settlement.

Where faint of hearts get blown in handkerchiefs,

and the court jester plays his head in the face of the fallen.

Where plastic bags fill trees, like women with hair rollers

screaming at children to come inside before nightfall.