The wind blows the clouds across the sky.
As they go, they reveal the moon,
Shining down a sacred light,
A white light,
A borrowed light.

The ropes pull the curtain over our heads.
As it rises, it reveals two girls,
Grinning into blinding light,
A stage light,
A borrowed light.

The hand in yours pulls me along.
As we go, we reveal the world,
I see it through your light,
A pure light,
Perfect light.

Out in the rain,
A bottle green bottle
Fills with rain water,
While I watch, doing my homework.

Out in the rain,
The bottle green bottle
Looks sadder and sadder,
Drowning with no lid to prevent it.

Out in the rain,
That bottle green bottle
Fills right to the brim,
With water that's purer than we are.

Out in the rain,
My bottle green bottle
Overflows with a sadness,
So pure that no distraction could lid it.

My love for you echoes
Off the walls of my room
Where I have dreamed
Of you and have cried
For the things that
Will never be real
But those dreams
Give me hope
So I don't
Mind.


*Much.

Crying in front of the person you need most.

give me one good reason why i should ever make a change
cause baby if you want me then all of this will go away

Thrumming through my mind,
Is the idea that no matter what happens,
Life will hurt and I will bleed;
Rivers of blood and salt water
Shall run from my body until the day I die.

noose**
One day the necklace broke,
Into a piece of chain and beaded memories
The memories shattered when they hit the floor
A mushroom cloud of dust, glass and pictures.

An image of me smiling here,
And a glimpse of long lost giggles there,
But the most occurring shard,
Is of my crying for the things I've lost.

noose**
Do you like my necklace?
I don't know what it is yet,
Is it rope?
Chain?
Bruises?
All I know is that it weighs me down
A prison cell around my throat
Keeping the bad words in.

noose**
My chest deflated after the breath I drew;
My last breath.
The rope pulls tight about my neck;
The unbruised skin.
Red from the blush of humiliation
Which everyone sees.
It turns to blue as my body cools
On the table.
The people who care have said their
Goodbyes to me.
And the peace I've found will last.
It has to.

You keep me calm,
But my guilt consumes this calm
and my heart and my mind.

I want to hide or fight,
Cry or hollow myself out,
So I don't start loving you.

I'd quite like to never
Feel guilt or love again,
But you keep me calm.

Broken and beautiful,
Like a crystal rose- shattered
Only to be glued back together
With some of the pieces missing
Or in the wrong order.

I wouldn't have you any other way.

You are everything to me.

I'm trying to focus, get out of my head!

an earth shattering epiphany,
it doesn't change anything,
for everything is already perfect.
there is a wind storm outside that
will rattle my shell tonight
but in this moment i am grinning
so hard my cheeks hurt because you
are so beautiful and i am so shockingly
glad that i get to call you mine.

I lust for the lighter, darker things
That only your lips can bring.

We are perfectionists content with one-another's imperfections, and I am thankful.

In our best clothes we step
Inside this building, this symbol
Of gods beauty and power but
I feel the mighty ceiling pressing
Down on my shoulders, my throat
Feels crushed by all the things I
Would normally say in god's
Sacred name. I realise that god
Wants me to to love, to breath
His healing forgiveness into the
World provided those I revive
From their lives of godless misery
Are not a different colour, a different
Gender, a different faith, race, sexuality
Because their creed and their colour
And their name will matter, he
Won't be there.

I didn't know guilt had teeth,
But it got its claws in me
Just because I didn't run,
And now it's eating me alive.

We click our fingers when we get something,
We click the safety off when we lose *everything.

I feel very far away
From everything that makes me whole.

When you look at a pair of hands and just know that having them in yours would make the panic go away.
The tight bundle of nerves in your stomach would ease into excitement rather than fear at the sensation of being laced with someone else.
Touch never has to be ****** but it is almost always sensual and god, I want the tickling burn of hands moving up and down my forearm,
nails scraping a little so that it awakens the senses but doesn't overwhelm them.
The feeling of being physically alone is a constant weight on my chest- when I see a happy couple, I'm not jealous of their closeness or their happiness, it just reminds me that I am, in fact alone.
The hugs and touches I get are familial, friendly because people like to trust me but never get close enough to love me.

At the eye of the storm, my mind is clear,
But zooming out, you can see that the farther
Things get from this pin ***** of perfection,
The more fragile and damageable it all gets.
Everything; big and small and imperfect.

This clutter is controllable though,
If you know how.
*I think.

You are not a sacrificial lamb
And I am not the victim of my own loyalty
So why does it give me no strength to be loyal
And why do I think I've got something to sacrifice in you

Its a promise we made to each other
We love unconditionally and to our up-most ability
My promise is ongoing and yours is too
I couldn't leave anything you have made of me behind

This promise is ongoing
A contract between hearts who gave until they broke
I love you with all my mind, because I can no longer trust my heart

Corsets would hurt less
Than the anxiety
Coiling around my ribs,
Crushing my lungs,
And making me all light headed.

Crack open a book,
Crack open a door,
Crack open your mind
To find out the terrors in store

I miss laughing.

Hello and welcome to the internet,
Where everyone is brave enough
To say what a face wouldn't,
Because looking into tears,
Makes it much harder to hate,
But a glaring screen and autocorrect,
Gives you cowardice coated in bravery.

A shudder is drawn from my skin
As the darkness holds out a hand.
I rise from my bed, start swirling instead
To the music of dreams as I'm lead
Round the room by the nothing
That claws at my mind, at my head.
I grin at the darkness, it knows,
it knows
That I'm dancing the dance of the dead.

Give me power.

*Smile.

I am bound and gagged
By my love for you but I
Wouldn't leave if I could.

it's just a good word.

I cant.

I cannot actually explain
What I feel, when I feel it
So you will never know
How close I come to
Hating myself for
Loving you.