I laugh because it's funny,
how you can walk in a patch full of weeds,
and never notice the faithful rose.

but be careful,
her thorns are her scars.
they're guarding her heart.
but oh how easily they can be picked off.
thorn by thorn, piece by piece.
you'll make your way into her heart.

because you're like all the rest.
you'll take off each thorn, grab the vulnerable rose and tell her she's beautiful.

and then you'll destroy the rose.

why?

because beauty is never seen until the scars are removed and the walls are broken down.
but some roses never know who is the one to remove the thorns.

In the hazy lines
When I saw your face
Imperfection adorned

In the silent nights
When I heard your voice
Imperfection endured

In the blinding lights
When I glimpsed your being
I fell for you.

Our best night was the night my phone broke.
We had to message each other on Facebook
so we looked through each other's old pictures
and bragged about our relationship status to our friends.
That was the night I called you from the home phone
and I laughed when you told me you once ate human flesh
and I laughed harder when you said
you're supposed to be scared.
That was the night I sent you a poem I found online
and you replied with the most honest profession of love
I have ever heard without using the word love.
That was the night we stayed awake until 5am
even though you had to get up at 6.
I could've sworn I loved you.
I could've sworn you loved me, too.

do you know
what's harder than
crying?

when people think
you're fine
because your eyes
don't look puffy
nor are they bloodshot.

do you know
what's harder than
losing sleep?

when people think
you sleep peacefully,
dreaming behind your closed eyelids.

do you know
what's harder than
living?

when people think
you've moved on,
looking for a new life.

the hardest thing of all, though,
is when i have to go through them all,
but without you.

Hello me,

I'm you. I'm the older you after multiple suicide attempts, and lost in a haze of ***** and drugs.  I am also you who sought and searched for some meaning and belonging, only to find hypocrisy and pain.  But all that aside, I wanted to thank you for not giving up on life even though you wanted to.  Finally asking for help when you did, even though a part of you didn't care anymore.  Thank you for letting hope grow in you one day at a time.  Thank you for letting me love you, so I can love me today.  Life is pretty amazing today, and we would have missed out on this beautiful journey because we were so locked in our pain. Now, you and I can share our story of pain and suffering to help someone else.  We don't have to stay in a hopeless state of mind and body.  Thank you for having the courage to surrender and admit you couldn't do it alone anymore.  I love you very much.

Love,

I'm You

The number of years it's been,
The number of times I've tried to join you since,
And the number of days left until your memory is celebrated.

Your eyes are telling a tale
Everywhere you go

Your steps are making rhythms
silent and slow

Your head was never high
Nor does your voice

Every tremble of your hands
Every quiver on your lips
I know.