I would tell you my story,
but then you just might believe me,
when I tell you of the cages and bars that I desperately keep myself pressed against,
of the voices that so desperately plague my dream,
attempting to leave laughter,
but fleeing with nothing less than a scream.

I would tell you my story,
but then you just might feel the pain,
of tear stricken cheeks standing alone in the streets,
screaming of hopes and dreams,
left alone in the sea of fallen aspirations and breathes,
swimming so desperately for a speck of land,
offering a hand of anything.


I would tell you my story,
but I love you and I wouldn't want you to worry,
that the mad binds of society would cease my limbs,
and tie me back from the grip of you,
that my mind might break from it's confinements
and come after you.

I would tell you my story,
but would you go mad with me,
or would you be smitten,
tackled to the ground by the essence that reminds,
that nothing is as dark as the tale
that you wish to embark,
would you reach for the positive,
in fear of the helpless bodies chasing behind you,
claiming of love and lust
but...


I would tell you my story,
but the mad man fears of discovery,
the brain wishes not to be unraveled,
and have pain and tribulation traveled,
the soul wishes not of company in misery,
but of embrace ever so gingerly,
to continue the warmth.

I would tell you my story,
but the fairytale is so much better,
dreaming of sunsets and warm sweaters,
dancing in the stars and running with the breeze,
but now,
I'm afraid I've told you my story,
and we've gone and ruined the glory,
of the long told fairytale,
of a pale vail,
and love, oh don't forget of love...
but you wanted to hear the story,
of a mislead heart,
passionately wrought and then torn apart.

staring down the barrel, increasingly stretching darkness
to a bright light, tye-dye, good vibes
take a deep breath, cause what is said is rarely what you think it means
she says up, higher, but you're trying to go down
to bring her chest to raise higher and lower
she says why, when you're only looking for how
saying hi when you really mean bye
you bring your face to life in goodmorning, hi, hey, hello
bringing my mind to life in goodnight, bye, ok
oh ok, fine, uncertainties aren't your thing
but im the certain, im gettin nervous, no room to move
we're only bound to lose
wanderlust, my heart is
staying home learned the lines of yoda your mind knows
is where you find your greatest joy
everything is likely far from what it seems
similarities don't bind seams
new ideas bind two different fabrics
its magic
like the happiest place on earth, we're all searching
look up at the billboards sliding past your window
taunting you that happiness is just out of reach
but if you'd close your eyes and just imagine open skies
you might have less questions that stay at whys

i press memories into my skin
just to have a constant visualization of them
another one, a different view
the thought would rattle you, if you only knew
your body takes an idea, makes it beautiful
i trace the lines while you echo the stories
of each driving space that hurt less than the thought

I didn't know you'd never fall like you did
feet in the air, palms on the ground
I didn't know you'd never make me feel like a kid
but I wanted to so I ran round and round
up and down, searching for the love I hope you kept hid
between dancing smiles and raining frowns
but it was fourteen plus two and two and two
my will was yet ready to trek to depths of the unending blue
when you pushed, i couldn't believe it to be true
leaving me to drown in the nonexistent idea of me and you

but we snap, flip back, run around the race track
to the same starting point, white flags waving surrender
to contagious conversationalist talking of extraneous happiness
tracing the blank novels of love tales never written

you've always been the captain of this ship
swearing you're too afraid to wreck it
but you sail us into the lands never sailed by experience
just to see the life unseen, im serious
and I have a feeling
we're aimless travelers
I have a feeling
we're destined passengers
I have a feeling
we'd never have a feeling
because we're terrified
of having a feeling
of dissapointments
of having a feeling
of failure
of having a feeling
that feelings could take us over  


but we snap, flip back, run around the race track
to the same starting point, white flags waving surrender
to contagious conversationalist talking of extraneous happiness
tracing the blank novels of love tales never written

we could take the long way home
drive a little longer
just don't pull over, we can just roam
pass the passing seasons,
we'll just wander
through songs for all the wrong reasons
between the voices and instruments we can rest
just don't pull over, we have no reason
time is the test, the test is the exit exam
just don't pull over, cause im going to scram
running in the opposite direction
to a world where you can never read my ****** expressions
of pure affection


but we snap, flip back, run around the race track
to the same starting point, white flags waving surrender
to contagious conversationalist talking of extraneous happiness
tracing the blank novels of love tales never written

but it was time, i escaped the coy persuasion
it was mathematics, the perfect equation
of fourteen plus two plus a few and I lost count
and replaced it with a sensation
of unrequited friendship, our own sermon on the mount
a love stronger than I aimed when one met six
of trust bound tighter than welded steel
cause now we just laugh, skip past the oceans filled by hurt feelings
walking on the beach, looking at the beautiful view
of what was once me and you

but we snap, flip back, run around the race track
to the same starting point, white flags waving surrender
to contagious conversationalist talking of extraneous happiness
tracing the blank novels of love tales never written

Friends, family, foes, and those of woe,
I invite you to dance this delicate tango with me,
right on the line of reality and fantasy.
It is here, that,
I invite you to the mad tea party.

Now, let us get one or two,
three or four,
maybe ten, one hundred, zero things straight,
you are not to be late to the mad tea party,
you are to set your time straight and do not stray,
but rather show up without delay at the time that serves your mental estate,
at a time that feels right with your bones,
now, now don't miss that time and don't be late.
We are of strict dress code here at the mad tea party.
You are not to wear what you saw on him and she and her and we unless it is of,
suitable expression to your situation,
you are to dress accordingly with your mentality,
nothing else will pass the test.
You are to act accordingly.
Do not laugh when not appropriate, and sit up straight when your spine tells you.
Do not speak when your mind is forced to be spoken.
Now, have we all straight.

I cordially invite you to the mad tea party.
Where we dine and wine and tell tales of time,
and rejoice on the words those delicately spoke,
and dance on the lines theatrically strewn across the room,
and sail across every last tale from you and he and yeah her over there too.
I invite you to the mad tea party.

I invite you tell of when you first saw the earth breath,
when the trees and the leaves set to dancing,
when you first heard the wind laugh at your grin,
and when the raindrops ran fearfully from the erupting sky.
I demand of you to tell nothing but that of truth,
and watch as the molecules in the air take to vibrating.
Take notice to musical clinking of the entities amidst you,
and take pride in the gentle stride of the clouds overhead.
Did you notice the flowers laughing at you,
in between the birth, death and rebirth in accordance with the sun?
Did you notice the flowers pull in their petals as they shyed from your step?
Take notice to the music and laughter around you at the mad tea party,
take great care with the feelings floating about the air, vulnerably buzzing from mind to mind,
before their decline and descent to rest their heads.


You see, it is here at the great mad tea party,
that we do not devoid you of the ability to do as your energy demands,
with the issues of time and dress and proper behavior.
It is here that we tend to focus on the earth and the breathing of the molecules and atoms  around you,
it is here that we go mad.
and it is here that I cordially invite you,
but before you make your reservation, please eliminate all hesitation.
You see the mad tea party is not readily accepted,
by the constraints of society and the binds of reality.
You see the mad tea party is misconstrued by masses more than just a few.
Those who long buried their soul look down on the guests,
for they are different than the rest, in that, they're welcoming,
into their soul the ability to go mad which is taught to be bad.
So before you make your reservation be inexplicably sure,
that you are in fact,
ready, for the mad tea party.

I want to see the world
I want to watch it unfold like a whisper into a secret
dancing in a different perspective
from what each set of eyes dreams it
I want to watch the world imagine
sprinkling a mana potion of possibilities
across the land for us to dance in
I want to see the world's mistakes
where its heart broke into the grand canyon
where it cried to fill the atlantic ocean
where it colored to create the flower fields of Holland
I want to listen to the world
while it commutes around the sun like a day job
while it tells stories to the stars like a fantasy
while it grieves over a tragedy just out of reach
I want to see the world
so I can show it a new humanity
not every human here is all we're cracked up to be
some of our souls are still dancing
looking down and up and rejoicing
we want to see the world
to understand it, fall in love, and come into unison
society is just a plague wiping out the brightened energies
but we're finding a cure, an infinite anecdote to the mess of man
and we'll come from the inside, to feel the world

My biggest fear is standing within earshot of a crowd
in front of a microphone that'll amplify my thoughts
i've always hid in print like a theme you just can't figure out
because if I write slow my tendency to mix letters to a spaghetti mess hardly shows
but when words find their voice in my mouth
its like a shuttle race gone wrong
who goes first, is it the stutter or the lisp
theres too many s's like success just fits and sits amidst words smoothly spoken
when i  read out loud I remember the crowd of eager faces witnessing my sure demise
when it was the top five competing for that shiny prize at the the spelling bee

dyslexia
...
your word is dyslexia

like some sick joke in a word i've never heard that would come to shatter how I felt about my imperfections
running out in a frought...no...i meant a fright, not quite sure if I was headed to the right

you see, if you all put L's up to your forheads in your dominant hand, they all look right or left...or right
I missed my turn
to show my tiny world that I learned to read and spell like all the rest
instead of in a tiny jail cell in my head where I would write words in every which way to try and learn them in a way that made sense to all the rest
but instead I turned down a road of "its your turn to read out loud"...
so I'd read really slow not sure if I was reading a history of Korean or Japanese in English
but written in their natural direction for impact
and i'd get through a paragraph before they stopped me
because my words choked behind my teeth
its just embarrassing

let me tell you
leaving highschool was more relaxing than distressing
eventhough everyone that knew me was now left behind
and so I packed up my life in notebooks
and sealed them in a recycle bin
like I could recycle the thought of them
but no matter if I liked it or not
my letters would come to know no order
when stumbling out of my mouth like a night at the bar passed two
because nothing good happens passed two am
but I write according to my greatest whim
when all the hers and hims retire from a night at large
and so im still stuck here with words leaping from my pages looking for a home, in mouths that know how to shout and let it all out
but, no matter what, im trying
so I stand here now choking out this combination of consonants and vowels
because I know now, my imperfections will lead me to a story only I can tell
so thank you for listening to this garbage disposal of spoken notes I swore looked better when I left them just to be wrote
in notebooks bound by the thoughts of just me

Maybe this could be the dream
that becomes a reality
lucid dreaming comes easily
blurring the line between dreaming and reality
it makes it easy to take thoughts
translate them into your fantasies
taking it to the sheets
just to tease actuality
and, maybe I could become just a thought
or a trigger in your brain
to rumble your ribcage, trying to breathe
maybe I could just be a feeling
something, a souvenir  you brought back
from your latest escape from reality
baby, that might just be me
but you won't, you wont think of me
and you don't, you don't feel me
but no, I cannot think when you're gone
you took my tongue and led me wrong
you're my thought and you fled me, wronged
loved you, that was all of my heart
I steered you wrong, and you left me, gone

Your name is like a needle in my eye
a knife at the end of my tongue
a serpents flying venom
i wish it didn't flush out all the hatred
you say one thing and face another
so wrapped up in self you think you've found understanding
but your soul is but a sliver of everyone else's
and you experience the sliver you choose to see
eye so narrow you can't fathom open arms
and you say you can sense and feel others
when you're naivety is screaming, scaring away sincerity

sometimes it hits you
like you always expected it to
setting off a lightening storm in the delicacy of a kiss
waiting to hear how far from passion we are
in the sudden thunder rumbling my ribcage

i always counted the seconds before saying things I was afraid of
the logic of numbers would surely reconcile stupidity
one,
two,
i love, three,
you
when senses shock your body everything stops
slows
to the careful counting of each of your teeth as they appear in a grin
slower
to the roadtrip down the stretch of your fingers
and suddenly, all at once
the world runs to full speed
and catches up to my day dream
of you and I laughing hysterically
and suddenly, not a count to soon
you love me