You will be my greatest heartbreak.
You will be the reason why I hide from the rain
Why I sleep early on school nights
Why I avoid numbers.

I'll never look at stars the same
Since you'll be looking at the same ones just a block away.
This school
With its halls
     Lockers
          Desk
               And doors
Will never be my second home
Because my second home will always be you.
This hill-
This sweet welcoming hill-
Will just be a reminder of how far apart we really are.

But the worst part
The worst part
Will be reaching for another book,
A story that I had loved
A story that you had loved
A story that you will never read.
You will always be there
Etched
Woven
Embroidered
Between the lines of each turning page.
You are the boy next door,
The unexpected ally,
The hero to the story.
You are the twist and turn of events,
The cliff hanger,
The conflict,
The resolution.
You are the emotion held between the quotation marks,
The cliche phrases,
The words that break the reader's heart (just like mine).

You will be my greatest heartbreak
But also my favorite.
Because at least for a moment
You held my heart in palms of your hands.

beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display

I guess you could call it poetic how by the age of 12 I had no recollection of what happiness tasted like on my tongue. Some would say it was tragically beautiful.
But it was not poetic, nor was it beautiful,  but it was tragic. It was so very, very sad, and that sadness is only doubled now that people see sorrow as glorious.  It is not glorious. It is not strength. It is a lump of iron in your chest and stomach and it eats you from the inside, out and you have no right to think that blood stained wrists are anything other than tragic. So very,  very tragic.