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Dec 2019 · 453
Abnormal Crush
Lady Misfortune Dec 2019
Are not easy to appease and quite unsweet
(Special to me)

Are the red ball my mother said it is dangerous to play with
(A world unrevealed)

Yet, I'm drawn to your bitterness
It makes me feel canny.

There's nothing more I love than candy
I mean I would be dandy with an outstanding quantity
Somehow still unequal to the flavor of you

Who pulls my tail and teases my senses
(Convince me my pain is not real)

Are the personified insatiable
And complacency is dullified when you are on my mind

This is my inept attempt to explain
I want to drown in the aroma that is you

Lose my fingers in your skin
Awakening your phobias in hopes I'll forget, my own.

Smear my lips near your hips
And you'll remind me
I only want you because I am not supposed to

Are the olive taste I can not replace
I want to spit you out like gum,
But it would be so futile to.
(For I love you)
You inspired this. And I think it is an inaccurate depiction of how i feel. I don't know where this came from. It is a truth but I think only a truth meant for fantasy... your favorite thing
Oct 2019 · 295
High School
Lady Misfortune Oct 2019
This is a story begun
Never ended

Everytime I try
Just shush, just listen
It's all fuzzy, glitching

I can not seem to find my motivation in anything
Unless prompted by a grade

I can pass your course, yet I'll fail my life
I'd dream myself to be something other than a student
If your class didnt take all my time

If I did not spend my nights trying to find a reason why ...
Knowledge makes me want to die
Consume my mind

A few more credits to accredit my worth

Unassisted, a lack of support tore my nature to explore
and gave me the power to put on a wry smile and lie

Mutter, "I'm fine"
Created 10.1.19
Sep 2019 · 314
planetary goddess: M.O.E.
Lady Misfortune Sep 2019
"... I am sunkissed,
Dropped from the sky above like a raindrop

I shine like a star
Made out of what was once nothing

I am the reason light exist.
I am the lonely uncertainty
That sits within darkness.

I cry out to my opposite,
Longing to attract it."
M.O.E. - Meaning of existence
Jul 2019 · 499
Ambivalence: A Bad Bacteria
Lady Misfortune Jul 2019
Please fill me with love before I flatline
Filtered and withered,
I sigh

Masks are a cancer flooding my blood stream
Staining my skin
Leaving me philosophizing
Over why I'm still living

It feels like I have to end me
Because nothing will mend me

I tried to speak, but the ambivalence outstretched to my throat before it could connect
The message to your screen

Drifting from myself
Forlorn shreds
I won't scream

I only know how to suppress
I've been submerged into thoughts of depression
Due to all I have been neglecting

This is the pain express
Toot my horn and come aboard
If you have the qualifications your reward granted
Is beyond explored

You'll wield power beyond any galaxies in space
Knowing what exist and how to get to what is sick
In order to remedy it

I stopped carrying life the second you dropped that glass
Emptied out
The vacancy poisoned my plasma to vast degrees

Attempting to finally earn a little more than lack of words from the past
The bruises are firm but the alert fluctuates in my brain  
While I wait
To find a cure for what I hate

Oscillating between extremes
I'm not sure who I want to be in this story.
I wanted to give up writing, but the things I create seem to be the only constant I control. Seems like everyone in my life is painting me as the bad guy. I'm not.
Jul 2019 · 254
Lady Misfortune Jul 2019
My soul seeps through the floor boards
I pray to the lord he'll take me with a flaming sword

The chords have wrapped around my wrist and feet
My fingers bleed like mold dripping from my missing ceiling

There's not a scream left in me
Not a voice
You drown it out when you create voids
Digging past my surface planting hurtful words and poisoning purity

I took all the mirrors down
They reflect the mildew of grief
Anguish supreme
Reign of anger and hate

I mourn for what was torn out of me
I cannot write what is intangible
I just want to forget what's happening

Which is why I'm done writing

I can't speak so I can't use words to truly express anything
The chords around my wrist and feet are on my throat in my mouth

Vocal chords vibrating from the shaking of cold rigid fear

Fear I find when I awake mid-night crying out for
No one and nothing... nowhere.
Created 6.10.19
Jul 2019 · 600
Lady Misfortune Jul 2019
You can not cure my intoxication
If all you know is CPR
You're trying to do the heimlich
I'm not even aware of where we are

And to think you think you can help
Ignites the rushing blood in me

I swallowed all the poison
So I would not see

As it pours out my mouth
And my life is choked up

The sun rises over the bay
As my eyes flutter I know

I will never have to see her again
That's all that matters

As I lie on the ground
And feel the cold earth I will join

I cannot speak
Everything hurts
This is the most my pain has ever been worth

One tries to save me, but it's too late
I ate off the feasting plate

I ate at the queen of the festivals table
I love her and long to be able

To be in the moment once more
I know it won't happen.
So here's my reaction

My action to the action
Of her death in my life.
I dreamt of that rat every night.

Created: 10.5.18
Jun 2019 · 294
The Color Red
Lady Misfortune Jun 2019
My heart is a calamity containing calidity
I condone my situation because of what I view as justification... validity

I commence in feeding an ego that soon will be too immense for my own body

To lobby for draining more of who I was to satisfy a condition that should cease in existence...
(Who I am)
Has no point.

It's chronic to my health and as I continue to comment
I wish a cosmic allotment would hit me

I close my eyes and fade
Hoping to capture my reveries, but instead
I capitulate to the reality bleeding through my eyes

My insides dwell under a crimson sunset sky
How can the sun dare to shine on a place frozen over?
Ineffable and sublime

I attempt to open my eyes
Stopped by my bride, clinomania
She lies next to me in bed
I'd try to get out, but the only thing left is my head

Even then the dessert sand interior never fails to blow right through my hands
Binding my bones
Paralyzing my stance

I might be on Mars
That was never the plan

Yet, here I stand
Tongue in hand
Heart full of blood

Why is nothing ever enough?
Created 6.6.19
Jun 2019 · 237
Lady Misfortune Jun 2019
And everything you have done is more than enough
To make me wish you were dead

Everything amounts to nothing because ...

All the love I gave,
You threw back in my face
And I fell from such a force onto a platform, I prayed would be you

It amounts to nothing because ...
You're just another person who helped ruin me.
Created 2.23.19
Apr 2019 · 271
Lady Misfortune Apr 2019
Once again I've taken my brilliance and splattered it on a canvas
To depict what I feel for someone so undeserving,

Who doesn't know how much I was hurting,
When they weren't worth my love and energy.

I asked for ice from whom I thought was a stranger,
Until I saw a slight head **** and my heart plummeted into my stomach,

Suddenly empty,
Bearing the worse burden of fearing,
A problem I'd let dissolve with time was just sitting in the pit of a glass.

Lollygagging and putting on a show
When there's this little ping of me knowing,
This earthling will always have my attention.

At least I can choose whether or not I listen.
The puzzling affliction of loving someone but not being in love, anymore.

Thin lines between every emotion, I could so easily cross a boundary, depending on my decisions.

I will begin at the finish, that is also the start, where all my coping and art to get through the dark, mean nothing.

The torture of your screws will be of no use,
I threw it all away when I greeted you with laughter and smiles,

Knowing good and well for me your just another hell I've longed to avoid.
Shoved into denial, I try to bury the dial making all the noise.

Ping. Ping. Ping.

How can I still have love for you after it all?
How can you claim to care about me when you weren't there to carry me?
Apr 2019 · 544
Lady Misfortune Apr 2019
I regurgitate all the cringey moments of pain I felt for some pompous fool...
I thought you were gone.

Not getting caught up in the cyclone of infatuation, was useful
Cruel treacherous whispers for a time
Until the next drama is pulled from the side lines,
Guess I was wrong.

Your off in the corner drifting off...
Into daydreams about me
While I think it's astounding
You could feel anything after drilling your screws into my head

Echoing screams you turned your back on,
Now you're wondering how I'm doing,
Digging up old feelings,
You must really want to **** me,
Seeing you won't leave until you have every piece

Forefront or unseen
I disappeared for a year
Action, were on, scene.

Will I get caught in a hurricane of forgetting
And living in a fairytale prairie?

Where you go pick daisies from the grasslands wishing with the intention of giving,

Attempting to do so in secrecy
While I await an apology
That is never coming.
Once again I've taken my brilliance and splattered it on a canvas to depict what I feel for someone so undeserving, who doesn't know how much I was hurting, when they weren't worth my love and energy. I asked for ice from whom I thought was a stranger, until I saw a slight head **** and my heart plummeted into my stomach, suddenly empty, bearing the worse burden of fearing, a problem I'd let dissolve with time was just sitting in the pit of a glass. Lollygagging and putting on a show when there's this little ping of me knowing, this earthling will always have my attention. At least I can choose whether or not I listen. The puzzling affliction of loving someone but not being in love, anymore. Thin lines between every emotion, I could so easily cross a boundary, depending on my decisions. I will begin at the finish, that is also the start, where all my coping and art to get through the dark, mean nothing. The torture of your screws will be of no use, because I threw it all away when I greeted you with laughter and smiles, knowing good and well for me your just another hell I've longed to avoid. Shoved into denial, I try to bury the dial making all the noise. Ping. Ping. Ping. How can I still have love for you after it all?How can you claim to care about me when you weren't there to carry me?
Mar 2019 · 263
Lady Misfortune Mar 2019
You ever absorb a song you can not repeat?
You ever beg for warmth and then melt in the heat?
You ever know the answer before your lips go to speak?

Needlessly moving,
Searching for purpose in functioning
Miserable ruckus,
Pointless nothings

You ever divulge in lyrics you dwell in peace with being?
You ever feel grateful for a pain in your concrete feet?
You ever know the outcome and act unaccordingly?

I do.
Love me I'm a relatable *****.
I'm a cluster of intertwined things.
The most important being continuous searching for the song of my life; my own personal anthem.
Feb 2019 · 503
Arcane Melancholy Lane
Lady Misfortune Feb 2019
I awoke under a canopy
The vicinity was uncanny...
I remained inane, in need to retain the venues address,

I rolled off the bed,
Impeccable marble bruising my once undistorted mindset

I stumbled onto my feet noticing the luxuriant substances surrounding my loss of balance
Rootlessly searching from one room to another finding ones that only emulated the previous

An amorphous shadow appears before me
I immediately vilify the object

"Why are you holding me captive?"
I ask knowing I am no damsel in distress
Its stolid voice rejects the question's request of knowledge

Intelligence full of compunction fabricated by nadir of the time

I am lulled by the shadow's signs
I hope it will not be onerous to set aside the vestige of my frustration
Replacing it with prestige for the mysterious constrain of the situation

I annex the didactic without further noise
It has hushed me with persuasive manifestation of reasonless roaming
Until we reach a glass door

I assume it to open clearly, but to the touch I'm falling
Into distant realities

I come to realize I am standing on sand,
Observing the gray of the window to the soul of a moonlit stranger I will never know

Holding the hands of a madman whilst eyes of affection hold me
Feedback wanted.
Although I will say I'm sick of writing love poems.
Jan 2019 · 370
Lady Misfortune Jan 2019
I had a vision...
A dream our fingertips touched.

I had a twisted fantasy...
A nightmare where the spark was too much.

Fried from shock all she could muster was,
“You really, really love him, BUT”

There was where the story ends
From whence she came,
There she went

Gravity gently danced with you
Away from me
Petals vanished in the wind
All to honor your presence and utter negligence

I had a reverie
A dream our fingertips touched.

Lost in a cusp
Earth and air
It is merely dust.

For me it was once enough
Then I awoke from my slumber

Daily routine,
I count the calendar days
My sweaters cold static appalls me

I am laughing at how daunting,
Real and imaginary appear to be
Close, yet far

You are applauding
In the cryptic distance

Searching the audience
I vaguely listen to the lulls of your absence

I finally found something,
Greater than my own pain.
Love could never be greater than my pain, it serves as a foundation for it.
So if not love do you know what I am speaking of?
Jan 2019 · 296
Dent De Lion
Lady Misfortune Jan 2019
I grew from filthy pain
As brown as coffee
Dreams grew from my fluffy crown
Down to my roots

Naively awaiting the rain
The sun was my glee

Every thread that sew my chromosomes
Stabbed like the liars seed

Still, I grew.

The higher I rose
The more that was bore
I bloomed into a ****

Soon to be
Well groomed
Cut off with precision
And swift decision

I wanted to shine,
But when I was lifted
I forgot my wishes

There was too much pressure
In being a dream come true

I had grew to my limit.

I feel anguish and ache flow through my chlorophyll
It's what gives me my colors

You picked me.
My clear blood ran through
Green veins

The little life I did have and you blew it away
Your breath slice through my entire soul

Some people become fragile because their strength has been blown out by everything
They have ever known

I could forgive you
I need to

If only I was not emptily floating
Waiting to fall into the dirt

A piece of me makes it, the others are lost
I keep them in my mind, they are my peace
What hushes my insanity

You are wishing on something
That wants to drain your oxygen

I wish I could forgive you all
Instead I scoff down another grudge

You wish in vain when you tear open my veins
I want you to smother

On the filthy pain,
I learned to carry,

Under my crown of make-believe.
Created 10.21.18
I wrote this about forgiveness for a class assignment last year.
I'm numb to it now.
Dec 2018 · 7.0k
An Empty Cup
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
I say:
Do you want me to pretend you do not exist?

She says:
Do as you wish.

I perceive:
All I was once you moved onto the next,
A waste of breath.

What a mutual perception process,

You keep on running and now I have nothing but my beliefs.

And what do you have?
Your cup is empty

It would be full but...
You poke holes in all the words I speak
The art of assuming the worst

Created 5.21.18
Dec 2018 · 357
I Am Lost In My Head
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
I carry my heart
Even when split

As my love monopoly is shattered
I cater to the worries of later

Tending to the blood shed
Wandering a realm of nothingness

Seeking the wrenching guilt will not descend
Buoyantly moving in
Seeking to feel the sinkhole within

Before, she loses all hope
Before she goes over the cliff with no end
Infinitely, dark, cold, and ridgid

I travel the sea
Awakening the clouds above

Mesmerized by unfulfillment
Enthralled in a daze,
She steps forward

The lily turns gold
In the valley she has found her home

Her eyes close.
Created 12.30.18
Dec 2018 · 681
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
If you want me to love you...

Fly me into the sky

I'm just getting lost in your dark blue eyes

I resonate in the feeling knowing it's only for tonight.

The blue was the sorrow, and the sky was the hope in all that woe.
Created 11.24.18
Dec 2018 · 271
Spoiled Milk
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
How does it feel to do it all again?

So lonely
I'm floating
Like the plastic bag on my head

No weight to hold you down
Face it
She's gone and the pains still around

So capable
A waste full of love

How does it feel to do it all again?

She says, "I feel nothing"
I say, "You're a liar"

Eventually you realize the relationship will expire

Maybe I was wrong?
I miss when we used to take strolls down the side walk

All those dreams of buying cars driving around in empty parking lots
Sipping morning coffee acting mindless

You are gone, and I will still live it
Just not with the face I expected
Not the face I knew when we were both children
Created 7.18.18
Dec 2018 · 219
"Go Do Your Dishes"
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
My tranquil storm is beginning to ruin the peace
I'm indulging too much in these cherry heresies

I left the candy faucet running
Only to have my cup filled with nothing

The dulcet haze amazes me
The doubts resonate
I shiver and shake, my head
From my childhood dreams

Stuck in a room of black ripples
The susurration slightly annoying me
I know something so pure could never remain

I hate when you sugar coat the truth

The lies are obscure, but I believe
even when you find fault in me
I go to the sink turning the handles

In deep thought, I think
I always keep going back to the kitchen sink

You come out of darkness
Pull me in
"I want you to love me again"
I want to put an end to the mystery

So, I take a towel and attempt to cleanse
The mess I found last night
In the kitchen sink
Created 1.28.18
Dec 2018 · 629
Lady Misfortune Dec 2018
Runny noses and black roses
Unquestionable devotion
Unrequited notions

Filled to the brim with unfathomable emotion

A hoax intertwined with me screams
I bask in laughter
The demented bliss holds me

Bathing in remnants of of love that never could

Holds me unlike my belief you would
I crave affection, but
I was left in desolation with my diamond reflection

So when all my dust transforms to glittering gold
I want you to know:
I do not love you anymore.

I plucked you out of fear
I would never call you by possessive name

Crimson to black
My nose runs for all I will never get back

I hope this bird flies tonight
I crave love no more
My heart is empty

My dust is fools gold
What's over my rainbow?

"I love you, just go to sleep"
You **** my soul

I am not sorry... for saying so
Happy 2 Year Anniversary
Sep 2018 · 983
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
I lie when I do not need to
My head hurts when I tell the demons to exit

I do not want to be alone,
Ignoring my fears feels reckless
My body feels neglected

None of it changes
You think my heart would be racing
Its dropping its pace and
I have no clue where im headed

It does not seem right
I dont take it lightly
My life won't end brightly
I've been up nightly
With my thoughts

I am choking
They fight me
Then I shut off
My batteries empty

I stopped feeling like a person
When I became all burnt out
Said I would not fade
But the screams have gone

I was all wrong
I knew I was lying
I could not help it

I seem to be dwelling in shame
I want to leave everything I care for
Its too much to stay

I should go away
The people in my head are fighting
While im all cuddled up by the fears that bite me
Your negative thoughts will drain you if you let them. Sometimes I just can't figure out how to get out of my own head.
Sep 2018 · 310
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
You're the reason I go to sleep happy
You still want to die
If a wish could come true
I'd waste it on you changing your mind
Its amusing because she did change her mind about wanting anything to do with me.
Sep 2018 · 157
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
She said, "this will be a night you remember"
but I persisted we both would forget...
Until we parted ways and she left an imprint on my mind again.
I wish I was in January... but I know it's one of the worst realities I could ever dream to relive
Sep 2018 · 145
Holding Breath
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
“Hey wait for me”,
She said.
Running to catch up
With the rest of the group.
The group
that zipped her lungs
clipped her wings.
Sep 2018 · 160
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
You sat on my ladder
and blew smoke into my face

Said you had the good stuff
Why don't you send some my way?

I've never cowered from the fire
I have short legs
You get burned so much that you adapted the pleague

Walking down the plank
My heads in the water
My nostrils are bleeding
You've gone blind

You run your fingers through your hair
You claim to be mines

You don't like a hot mess
So what am I?

I am your weakness
You're a peachy surprise

I knew you were the one
When you looked in my eyes

It hurts me to smile but the frown was denied
All of the tears sting when you tell your lies

I saw the green
But it wasn't the one this time

Thought that you could be
My most prized rose
Yet the garden died

Naked, with no clothes
You sat on my ladder
And blew smoke in my face

I knew you'd make the perfect lover
'Cause all your exhilarating quirks I could so easily hate
Love is like a drug
Sep 2018 · 481
Crazy Carousel Dungeons
Lady Misfortune Sep 2018
We walked downtown
Around in circles we went
You slid your hand into mines and we held them up high

Strong together, stronger apart
Both dealing with seperate demons
Waiting to be torn

I wanted nothing more,
Than to walk with you again
You wanted nothing more,
Than to escape my presence

Your secret hideout
Your new friends, the dragons
My little hole in the wall
And a tin can of spit

Running towards me,
Your sight piercing through my eyes
It was never a surprise when you left
I just dreaded the department

You got onto my favorite ride and waved at me
I couldn't speak

The music played over and over in my head
And the spinning record led ...

Lead me to your dungeon where all the magic is made
My heart bombed by a gernade
There are no pieces left

Just my hole in the wall
My hole in your dungeon of falls

I wanted to bring you up,
but you let me down
You wanted to get away,
but I wanted to keep you around.
Created 7.8.18
Aug 2018 · 5.9k
Lady Misfortune Aug 2018
My toxic mind is my escape
These days,
I confuse pain for anger

Anger for pain

I invest, but never earn
I ask myself: will I learn?
I already know.

My hopes turn to dust,
When death whispers no.
I wish... I become optomistic...
I tell myself don't.

Sometimes I feel as though I want to live
I can not hold on,
When there is no rope.

I have fallen down the wishing well...
I have fallen in a hole.

Vitriolics follow me and I,
Can not see my life through a bigger scope.

I look at all the stars and know
I am the daughter of the sun itself
I am not the center just the product
Of perfect hell.

I ask myself: will I always be afraid?

I look through my clear tears
They burn my eyes
I forgot about the oil & salt.

Soap could clean it up.
Yet I wonder, who cleans the soap when it is filth?

I want the dirt to disappear
I want to swipe away the dust
I want to rid myself of disgust,
For whatever I broke inside, me.

How can I forgive when you're the reason I do not want to live?

I have been dying

I would give in
I would crumple
At this point I am not even sure how,

I wallow and swallow down my pain.
I drain myself of all mistakes.
I still drown.

Right when I am on the brink of peace
My mind reminds me:
There is nothing I can do to escape
I am still in myself, at the end of the day.
Written: 8.28.18

Everything that allows me to be free and to imagine holds me captive. Everything that was pure is still my mind, just coated in black ink. I am myself but I am unclean. My inner self is my only purity. And even she was ****** away in a tornado.
Aug 2018 · 247
Lady Misfortune Aug 2018
I loved you
You broke me
I envy
Your capability
Aug 2018 · 149
Snow Storm
Lady Misfortune Aug 2018
I'm in a blizzard,
not an ice cream cone

Darkness seems to be calling me
My pain seems fun,
Just like the pineapples,
I'm crushed

You will always be my first love
You won't be replaced
I'm bad at leaving so when I give my Ice cubes
There is a lot at stake

I'll never forget how I was left in the snow that day

Hurt and alone
While you were warm and cozy at home

I'm in a blizzard, not an ice cream cone
I love the cold

Stuck in a storm
I meet others to keep me warm
But I'm watching the snowflakes grow from my hands

I'm watching the snow touch the land
This is from a while ago. Like the beginning of 2017 old.
Aug 2018 · 410
Lady Misfortune Aug 2018
There's nothing in me,
but emotion and thought
In a field of sunflowers
I am a lily, that's lost.

Screaming, "save me!"
Trust me I know the cost
"Pick me!"

Let me writher and rot
Please do not leave me in gloom
I will not bloom next summer,
And I blame you.

I need to die to be alright
Help me rise again,
Hold me in your hands

You say, "I will be your friend"
Then you leave me in the dark
Bring sunflowers to the eulogy
You told me I was not them, but a lily

I do not have eyes, yet I know I am art
I want to glitter with the stars
I know you are the one who tore me apart

Stuck my fragments inside of a jar
Set me on fire
My inclination is gone

See me,
in the sky, and not in the mirror

See me,
in the pasture, and not in your tears

See me,
on the ground, and not as your fears

Do not dream of me, but remember me for years
My greatest heartbreak is to be forgotten.
Lady Misfortune Jun 2018
"I'm fine"

I'm a liar
I'm spectacular
If given the chance,
I'll unearth all your dirt
And show you the golden soul

You lost all those times life took you by its hold,
But death cut off your oxygen
Forcing you to let go.

"I'm alright"

I'm a mood swing waiting to happen
'Cause inside buildings are always collaspsing
I abandoned the cities in my mind
Just so I,
could spend some time
Being everything you needed me to be

Here's the only thing,
I'm destroying me

Driving your knife a little farther so you could paint
My crimson blood on the wooden floor
I dont want something pretty to look at anymore.

I'm locked in a cage

Your brush against my dark caramel skin
An artist with a butchers skill
Its my fault for chasing a thrill

I feel the rage of investing my time
Into what felt so good being flipped and dipped in the acid
Falling through my eyes
Called tears.

I covered my face because of my fears
I don't want you to see my face
Vulnerability caused by surfaced pain

Make it all go away
You said "its okay"

"I'm okay"

But I am not okay this time.
Part 1
Mar 2018 · 116
Hot Air Balloon
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
I'm drowning in the abyss
I'm not making it out of this ****
But as the depths of me lay in defeat
I know I'll be granted by the threads of hope
Waiting for me to pull
Because though I cannot fight
I will rise again
Created 10.29.17
Mar 2018 · 131
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
She said, "please help me I'm in pain"
The reply was "no the demons won't sleep
Rage and rage they will

What will you do to make it end
We know you've thought about ending yourself

The demons will only dream
Imaginative things
They'll take you to the depths of hell but know
None of it is truly real

You let them crawl in your brain
They're like pain killers

You take too much and you don't heal
You're only killing me

'Cause the demons don't die
They only dream
And you're fueling these creative things"
Created 10.31.17
Mar 2018 · 147
Broken Beauty
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
It torments me,
I'll be the only one to know
As they look into the casket
Wondering why

I'll reach up from the depths of hell
Haunting their dreams
I'll let me them know:
I finally gave up on me

My nightmare has not ended, I know
Although dead, I broke those left low

I was never a good person to begin  
The inside of me does not believe

The little girl sits in darkness
Hiding in the corner,
She dreams

The snake tries to swallow her
She has become immune
I do not know what to do

She is the light shinning
I can not find her
The small light is violently fading
As I annihilate a wonderful thing

I let them take
I have no motivation
Why not snap and break?

The labyrinth I made was no mistake
Can you not see
Confusion leads to clarity
Broken is beauty
Created 12.21.17
Mar 2018 · 115
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
Stuck in the depths of the ocean
Long lost cities held under

She is drowning in a swamp of cold
No one there to hold her

Out of her mouth it's all lies
"Give it time"
This soul will never rest

I tried to have no regrets
Barely breathing,
Choking up like she has a hole in her neck

And although surrounded by people  she could never be more alone
She waited through rain and snow

No one ever came to get her though
Resolving to a heart of stone
A spirit with no guidance to the right road
Created 7.6.17
Mar 2018 · 114
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
I hate feeling hurt
I always reach my highest highs in my life to find new lows

It's all just one big *****
Violence and internal conflicts won't leave me alone

Dark family secrets soon to be exposed
I am my biggest foe

And the storm makes it all the more bearable
Created 6.19.17
Mar 2018 · 121
Dry Ice
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
They think I'm perfect
While I'm thinking am I worth it?

I'm always hurting
They say I'm not a burden

Well my problems are hell so when I share it may hit your face
Just like the mace
Feeling I've made a mistake
Ruined another good thing

Ice burns
And I'm frozen
I cant feel nothing
It's better that way

Apathy by my side
Ice is my contemplate

Sad little ice cube
Your melting

What do you mean?
I cry ice cubes
Although I make it seem easy

That's all very cheesy
As the breeze blows my mind will race

Up at night I sit and think
Am I worth it?
This ice is burning.
Created 7.13.18
Mar 2018 · 105
Bittersweet Thoughts
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
I feel warm and fuzzy
Absolutely comfy
Still a hole in my chest
But I think it's easier to rest when I'm happy

I want my ice to melt for someone
I'm a little too frozen
And my sweetness is always waivering

Vanilla wafers and sunlight
Rainbow, Daisy's and childhood pines

But sometimes I'm in the dark
Where my feelings fall apart
Fear cripples the mind

I'm burning
Frozen in time

Hell cages me and the snow storm is raging
Trying to have patience
Success is awaiting

Bittersweet butterscotch monkeys
Butterflies and cookies
Pineapples and bunnies

The wolf is howling at the moon
Stars guide
But my solar system is unaligned

Welcome to my nightmare
The sweetest thing

Because bad holds beauty
Good and naive and the clueless
Created 7.15.18
Mar 2018 · 275
Baby Bird
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
You are just a baby bird
Trying to leave the nest
Your wings are broken
And the landing was a mess
Created 7.19.17
Mar 2018 · 111
Fake Theatre
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
Lightening shines
Give it time
Inside there is no light
The spark in my eye...
Is a fake design
I'm all pretend
Lies and fake friends
Created 9.3.17
Mar 2018 · 279
A Fish With Lungs
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
Halo's over horns
I'm always so indecisive
Playing pretend

I was always bad at board games
Eventually I just learned to cheat

'Cause this girl plays to win
Even when dying within

Success is what I chase
Not feelings
Boo hoo, emotional

Trace the lines
Can't keep track of time

So the mask becomes skin
The old self dies
When the lies begin
Created 8.9.17
Mar 2018 · 188
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
My mind is blank
But that's not always bad

The blank canvas is filled by colors
Inspired by the works of others

Dip your paint brush and make your mark
You'll be known for your actions
You could be known for your art

Wether it be writing or painting or music
Don't ever give in to doubt
The spirit within will always have color
And you are unique unlike any other

Because only you explain like you do
That's how you know it's genuine
Creativity is found within the thoughts unknown

Something that hasn't been done
Maybe a new approach

We wear this broach trying to fit in
But to stand out will give you remembrance
Inspired by Dani
Created 3.1.18
Mar 2018 · 87
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
The cold air touched my face
And as I tried to write
I realized it wasn't right

How could I describe
What I'm feeling
When I'm simply feeling numb

There is nothing flowing from my pen
Rubbing against my thumb

I'm all out of ink
Probably because sometimes I forget I am it
And my emotions are the driving force of me
Created 12.12.17
Mar 2018 · 773
Dirty Laundry
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
The slate was white and pure
If I've ever seen one before
But my vision is out of focus

I thought you were pink
Switching my views
Realizing it was blood not red ink

Perspective and mindset
You're making me melt
I know it's my own fault I'm placed in this hell

I manipulate all too well
My lies consume the volume of your truth

You want to get close
I'll close the door on you

You sat and screamed
I ignored the alarm and went back to sleep

Or at least you thought I was on snooze
When you snuck in
I winked ...

Still caressing the knife as I clean your sheets
Sweet dreams

Don't talk to me if you're going to treat me like I don't exist
You try to flip the handle, on me?
I'm a lioness, not a snail
Now your skin is turning pale

Sweating, you exhale
I thought you knew
I told you, I wasn't good for you

Too bad you walked into your own ****** scene
The caution tape, yellow and bright
Just like the moon

You should've seen the light
The night you died

I killed you, I know
But you wanted to die

It showed
This was all a game
I have nothing to gain but pain anyways

So I'm dropping you off
Not my fault you scraped your knee
No need for me to point out the fact that you're bleeding

You swooned,
And at that moment
I bagged you.
Created 1.13.18
Mar 2018 · 438
The Kitchen Sink
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
It's happening again
And all I can do is fall in
Don't try to catch me you'll slip

Because my dreams are a void
and the floor drips
Drips of shot down hopes and slit wrist

Of all the lost friends and abusive
Of all the secrets I tie at dawn
Of everything I bottle inside and seal away
Of everything I've ever told anyone
Of prized lies and the brutal truth
Of what I thought was love

Dripping with all the people I knew
My neck in a rope
The smoke fills my nose
But is it worth it

This feeling doesn't last forever
Neither does the pain
but my reality says
I'll just keep battling in vain

Will I float or become one with the ocean floor
I don't know anymore

Will I tick or cave in
Or, will I just become another memory
dripping from your faucet
Created 2.13.18
Mar 2018 · 738
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
Although poor
I could offer you riches
And I would stay but
I know eventually you'd shift
So many secrets
My mouth, I'll stitch
Keep it all in
And when everything burns down
I know I am the one
Who will be holding the matches
Sometimes when I'm alone by myself in my room I think
I'm going to be the reason this friendship falls apart

Created 2.22.18
Mar 2018 · 1.3k
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
I draw masses with my sadness and you
You drag people with a strong inspiration

I feel more effective
From what I have been told

I will never win
Everything I have started
I have somehow outgrown
She told me I neglect everything I touch
Mar 2018 · 880
Jack O' Lantern
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
The inside is so hollow to touch
I think the world has carved out enough
I don't want to be a pumpkin anymore
I don't want them to look at me as a decoration
But it's just too late...
It's simply already been marked on my face
With your knife
that took the place of a once happy soul
Mar 2018 · 1.3k
Chicken Nugget
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
'Cause that is the only thing that makes me happy
Besides everything else
In spite of me

I'm attracted to the things that hurt me the most
I love when the pain burns
Burns your memory into my mind

'Cause I forget everything
But I do not forgive enough

The boxes of ******* are piling up in
front of my door

I can not take anymore

Walking past the memorial that was
created while I was in a heap

Trapped in my own mind wishing
the one burning was me

How could I forget such a thing

That night I went back to sleep

So now I sing
but I am at a loss for words

All I hear is sirens
In the grand scheme of things
I have no control

Is that scary to you?
Am I afraid of me?

I am facing my ashes
Time passes
This is everlasting

but everything is temporary
None of it is real

And I feel it through the lost lullaby
the birds sing in the morning

'Cause these warnings
are the nightmares that will not let me sleep

These are the thoughts that imprison me
Late nights drinking coffee
I think back to the times I held my peace

I think back to the times
chicken nuggets were the only things
concerning my nose

****** Crossroads

No one knows I am stuck
in this lost lullaby
Mar 2018 · 178
Flower Bed
Lady Misfortune Mar 2018
I love when  you fight with your lover
I love sitting under the covers crying
I love playing this game like I'm not in pain

Be my everything
It's the only thing I say anymore
that I sincerely mean
Oh the heartfelt sarcasm
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