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Apr 2019
I regurgitate all the cringey moments of pain I felt for some pompous fool...
I thought you were gone.

Not getting caught up in the cyclone of infatuation, was useful
Cruel treacherous whispers for a time
Until the next drama is pulled from the side lines,
Guess I was wrong.

Your off in the corner drifting off...
Into daydreams about me
While I think it's astounding
You could feel anything after drilling your screws into my head

Echoing screams you turned your back on,
Now you're wondering how I'm doing,
Digging up old feelings,
You must really want to **** me,
Seeing you won't leave until you have every piece

Forefront or unseen
I disappeared for a year
Action, were on, scene.

Will I get caught in a hurricane of forgetting
And living in a fairytale prairie?

Where you go pick daisies from the grasslands wishing with the intention of giving,

Attempting to do so in secrecy
While I await an apology
That is never coming.
Once again I've taken my brilliance and splattered it on a canvas to depict what I feel for someone so undeserving, who doesn't know how much I was hurting, when they weren't worth my love and energy. I asked for ice from whom I thought was a stranger, until I saw a slight head **** and my heart plummeted into my stomach, suddenly empty, bearing the worse burden of fearing, a problem I'd let dissolve with time was just sitting in the pit of a glass. Lollygagging and putting on a show when there's this little ping of me knowing, this earthling will always have my attention. At least I can choose whether or not I listen. The puzzling affliction of loving someone but not being in love, anymore. Thin lines between every emotion, I could so easily cross a boundary, depending on my decisions. I will begin at the finish, that is also the start, where all my coping and art to get through the dark, mean nothing. The torture of your screws will be of no use, because I threw it all away when I greeted you with laughter and smiles, knowing good and well for me your just another hell I've longed to avoid. Shoved into denial, I try to bury the dial making all the noise. Ping. Ping. Ping. How can I still have love for you after it all?How can you claim to care about me when you weren't there to carry me?
Written by
Lady Misfortune  17/F/Ohio
   Pagan Paul
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