The end to his potential was swift

They'd told him after all, he had no gift

There was nothing for him to share

No reason for him to care

Why should he ever dare..?

Putting himself out there..?

Best to stay invisible

In the corner of the eye, dismissable

"Nothing to see here"

Just unworthiness and fear

They'd told him after all, there was no hope

The best choice for him, was the rope.

In my mind there is a voice that likes to play a game
It's quite like me but not quite the same

Every day we play tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for

When it's winning I feel completely wrong
Like a singer without a song

It starts to provide explanations
And I start to feel degredation

It seems to know why I'm hopeless
And why I'll always be mired in loneliness

And just like that, the voice becomes my voice
My reality and my only choice

However, sometimes I start to feel strong
I pull, I start winning and am no longer wrong

My love is no longer just superfluous
My flaws no longer mean I'm worthless

They never are of course
It's just that these thoughts are injected daily by force

Not by a negligient mother
Or a bully who just wants someone to bother

But by a voice that just wants to play the same game
A voice with only one aim, to take over my name

And so we continue playing tug of war
I don't know how long we've been playing it for

I just wish this room had a door...

I don't want to be back here
That place which only breeds loneliness and fear

Where everything is grey
And night is the same as day

Where love is just tasteless food
And nothing can improve my mood

Where I feel still even though I'm moving
And every touch feels cold no matter how soothing

Where everyone feels distant,
even though their love has been constant

Where the sun is just a sting in my eye
And the moon simply hides me while I die

Where every action is pointless
And my love and care feel worthless

The place where my heart feels numb
And being alive feels dumb

That place which is just dust and sand

That place which has no beginning...and no end.

We found each other lonely and afraid
Not too long after, a bond was made

We soon realized we were significant to each other

And so significant she became, this one was not the same...
as the ones that came before, this one knew more

Yet she stayed around, she sought to traverse the trembling ground...
that was my self-esteem and troubled mind

And I did the same for her too, together we grew
And before we knew, our love felt most pure and true

Yet even though I rose high, my love didn't always erase her wish to die

Days blossomed and shined
Weeks lived and died

At our best we planted beautiful memories...
at our worst we hung dead together from trees

But mostly, we loved each other seemingly indefinitely
Eventually, our corpse filled days bled into our loving ways

My spark for her heart faded away,
just like everything else these days

She was no longer something to adore
I could no longer fight to see her soar

I could no longer keep her in the sky
Every moment with her felt like a lie

As even though we still laughed, we both smelled something had begun to die
We knew it wasn't the same anymore
We knew it didn't feel like before

Yet she refused to part ways

Until I said that's how it has to be
It was the best for her and me

And so part we did for some time, hoping it will clean the grime

Alas, I felt better on my own, my love did not regrow

We met some time later, I made my statement of abatement
She was saddened but she already had her eye on a potential replacement

And so I carry on, sometimes recalling her smile, wishing it will seem vile

But this is not how I feel
Our love felt pure and real, and it was

Until it started to rot, then it was not.