To the person I will one day love
I know they will say you are my other half
But know that I was complete
Long before you came along
Because I had to ensure
That if you wrecked me
I would be whole enough
To fix myself without you
But although my heart is complete
I would still like you to have a piece of it

All it took was one crack
On an already fragile glass
To send me shattering
Into a million tiny pieces

I was so hesitant
Like a newly hatched bird
Ready for the jump
But I did not do it
Instead I stayed closer to the nest
Where it was comfortable
Where I could watch
But the more I watched you
Flying around in the sky
Coercing me to come forward
Just a little more
I wanted to know the dance
That you danced so well
So with the courage of a broken heart
I lept

I cradle your affection
In the palm of my hand
Like a seed so small
That if I am not careful
I might just lose it

At the threshold
   Between calamity
      And perfect harmony
         You and I walk
      On ropes too tight
   And heights too great
To make a mistake

Words intended for paper
Are instead ink on her skin
She is decorated in cursive writing
Of painful poems now recorded
Because no matter how much
She tries to forget
The ink serves as a daily reminder
Of a broken heart
With broken words

1-5-2019

Hands clasped over your eyes
Wet rivers of red seep down your face
You are covered in the stains of your tears
But I do not care
Not one bit
So I remove your hands from your face
Grab a clean rag
And wipe away the pain
I clean your clothes
And put you in something
Not marred by the stains of your hurt
So when I say that I want to care for you
Hold you
Help you
Know that I mean it

Written on my hands
Are all the secrets I wish to tell you
But my hands remain in clenched fists
So tight the ink begins to seep

A heart made of ice
With no cold there is no warmth
I embrace the snow




12/18/2020

Although I feel like
A hollowed out shell
Too empty to fill
And too easy to break
Most nights I spend
Crying a sea
Of salt water tears
I bathe in the
Lonely waters
And rinse away
All the hurt
And when I come clean
I breathe in
And breathe out
One breath
To let me know
That I am still here
That this is not all

You said you felt safe
Cradled in my arms
I didn't want to let you go
Because I was afraid
That your demons were lurking
Right outside the door
And darling
I would love nothing more
Than to **** them for you

What is your dream?
I say to him across a worn out desk
And his eyes sparked
But he was shy
Hesitant
Slow
To open up about his
Most prized possessions
And as all fireworks go
One spark led to an explosion of words
And I became mesmerized  
As he shared
Every
Single
Dream
And basked in the vibrant life of this boy--
A dreamer
In a classroom far too small
In a body far too little
To contain such magnificent dreams

Sometimes I wish I could have a little star of my own
That could whisper tiny star-secrets into my ear
Because stars are the best listeners
And tell the best stories

He catches the eye
Only for a linger
And not a stare

But he catches the heart
Like a falling star
You only see once
But it is enough to make you lock the door
And throw away the key

With a pen in her hand
She is ready to put her heart on the page
But no words come
For they had been stolen
Before she could even write

She used to have a lilting tone
In her voice when she spoke
I remember the sparkle
In her eyes
That used to gleam
There was so much about her
That used to be so
So bright
So lovely
So kind
So creative
So
So
So
Not what she is now

12/6/2019

When I asked you
"Are you okay?"
You said nothing
But two seconds of your silence
Spoke two-thousand words
You simply could not say

He is
Collected
He is
Funny
He is
A natural wit
He is
Quirky
He is
Respectful
He is
A gentleman
He is
Engaging
He is
Acknowledging
He is
Spiritual
He is
Smart
He is
Proactive
He is
Responsible
He is
Entertaining
He is
Someone you can stay up until 3 am with
He is
Someone you can have endless laughs with
He is
A boy who has seamlessly walked into my life
And I am incredibly grateful for it

I am a diamond
My mother the earth
My father the heat which gave me life
So when I say my worth is more than
Than a one liner
And a shot of beer
Know that I am out of your price range

In an age of strong female heroines
Be the small little hobbit
For there is greatness
In simplicity

07/23/2021

Here I write words
That could never be uttered
For fear
Fright
Vulnerability
And every other barrier
That got be one mile farther from you

Here are words
I whisper to myself as I drift to sleep
Because in dreams
Things are not as they seem
You and I
Place both of our hearts on the table
Willing to speak

I never knew such intimacy
Could be felt in a shared laugh
Or stories shared
Act as glue
Binding our souls
Ever so closer together

Happiness they say is
Temporary
Short lived
Awarded
Only for the privileged
Only achieved through impossible means
Well they are lying.

Happiness is my heartbeat
Blood pulsing through my body
Through my soul
And back again--
An endless song
I sing
In the dark
And in the light

Happiness is like fuel
And I am a wildfire
Spreading as far as the sun can reach
And then a little farther
I blaze an unquenchable fire in my path
So the world knows that I was here

I choose to be happy.
And so should you.

It was one breath
One step
One long free fall
Back to Earth
But I feel alive again

One
Two
And before I can count to three
I have fallen down a hole
Upon where
There is no return

It didn't matter if it was with him
Or with another stranger on the street
Love followed her
Everywhere she went
Like an old scent lurking in the air

He does not mend
My fractured heart
But is the life force
Behind every heartbeat

10/23/2019

He knocks
                                                          ­                                        She is hesitant
He hums a melody
                                                          ­    She peers through the hole to look
He smiles
                                                          ­                                               She smiles
He tilts his head like a puppy
                                                           ­                                             She laughs
He stands calmly
                                                          ­                     She creeks open the door
He holds out his palms
                                                           ­                          She sees they are bare
He looks at her
                                                             ­                                 She looks at him
He allows her the time she needs
                                                           ­                              She is grateful for it
He waits patiently
                                                       ­                                           She is nervous
He says nothing
                                                         ­                                         She is shaking
He sheds a tear
                                                            ­                                         She is crying
He knows exactly why
                                                             ­                              She shuts the door
He waits outside like the loyal puppy he is
                                                              ­     She leaves a rose while he sleeps

For even though her chamber had been violated before
By hands tainted with lust
This new loyal companion never forces
Never asks
Only respects
And waits patiently
Outside the doors to her sacred chamber

Even if she never opened the door
He would wait outside for an eternity
Because he loves her
With an undying loyalty

When my skin no longer
Prickles at the blow of cool air
Or the butterflies that ignite
Every time I see you
Die
Or when the moon
Has traded places with the stars
Or when my body becomes a casket
For all of your grievances
I hope you know that as all things die
So has our love

I would fight a thousand wars
Break a hundred walls
And sew together one heart
If it meant loving you

Before I could release your air from my lungs
You suffocated me
And took my life support

3-25-2019

No one was meant to know
My secret.

Every night with the lights dim,
I indulge in my secret.
Again
And again.

I was an endless void,
Always consuming.

No one was meant to know.
My obsession.
My guilty pleasure.
My obsession with Goldfish(insert copyright symbol)

It in the palm of my hand
I hold the smallest diary
With the largest secrets

There is an infamous industry
Called Customer Service
And all of its employees fall prey
To the worst of human beings

I recall a time where a man
Adorned with a frown on his face
Asked me a question
In the which I responded

But with his brows furrowed
And a huff in his chest
He told me
"That is the worst advice I have ever hear."

With a sigh
And a "tsk" on my tongue
I said
"You are the worst man I have ever met."

If romanticism
Is the foundation of modern love
Then I will romanticize
Til' the day I die

10/21/2019