No one was meant to know
My secret.

Every night with the lights dim,
I indulge in my secret.
Again
And again.

I was an endless void,
Always consuming.

No one was meant to know.
My obsession.
My guilty pleasure.
My obsession with Goldfish(insert copyright symbol)

My words are broken droplets
That never quite
Penetrate the surface
Matter without substance
Feeling without emotion
I may write my words
But you will never read them
I will speak aloud
But you will never listen

9/25/2019

There is an infamous industry
Called Customer Service
And all of its employees fall prey
To the worst of human beings

I recall a time where a man
Adorned with a frown on his face
Asked me a question
In the which I responded

But with his brows furrowed
And a huff in his chest
He told me
"That is the worst advice I have ever hear."

With a sigh
And a "tsk" on my tongue
I said
"You are the worst man I have ever met."

What if my words could be an echo into your abyss, a light in the tunnel?
What if I engraved you in the palm of my hands and cradled you for an eternity?
What if I could kiss away all the scars on your body?
What if I told you I would've given the sun, the earth, and all I had just so you could know what sacrifice meant?
What if staying meant waiting in the living room for you to come home every day?
What if I had too much love to give?
What if you threw it all away?

4-3-2019

You once asked me to dance
And it sent me
Spiraling
Whirling
Twisting
Wreathing
And eventually falling

It in the palm of my hand
I hold the smallest diary
With the largest secrets

They asked me to describe
This feeling
That dominates my very soul
But you see
It's kind of-
Sort of-
It's like the heat waves of-
Some eternal flame
A dove-
That flies just in front of the sun
It's like a slipping rope
That makes you take hold of-
Everything and nothing
It seems to be void of-
Deprived of-
Bereft of-
Logic
Reality
Sensibility
But like the stars above-
It can chart your course
Into unknown terrains
And even as I speak
I fall short of-
This abstruse feeling
Called love

<3
10/30/2019

She was a blazing wildfire
But what she didn't realize
Is that she danced with a prince
Who carried ashes in his pockets

10/21/2019

Poetry is the passion to my life
Work is just a side gig
To keep the mechanics going

We walked on a tight rope
Balancing
But also dancing
A ferocious dance
That was bound to result
In one of us falling

After a long day's work
And an appetite drained
Of all its creativity
I sit blankly at my table
Without a single morsel to eat

But a dusty book
On a hand-me-down shelf
Beckons to me
"Come and partake"

Curiously I turn the pages
Of this long forgotten book
And see in front of me
A book full of
The most appetizing of meals

If I wasn't hungry before
I was now

12/09/2018

(Read from top to bottom and vice versa ~ a reverse poem)

It's the End
I don't know what to think
The unknown fears that lie
Beyond that chasm
I jump
To something more hopeful
Something worth living for
The Middle
The great bridge
I enter
Upon a grove of trees
With light glittering through the leaves
It's serene
Beautiful
Here in these strange woods
I have found
The Beginning

For every tear
You made her cry
God has kept count

And her father
Has a whole storeroom
Filled with the tears
He has collected
Over the years

So don't make her cry

I gave you my heart on a silver platter
Not that it would even matter

Whether I adorned you in gold
Or loved you until we grew old

Your love was far too great a price
And there remains my one and only vice

To love to deep is such a burden
And on the stage of love
I draw the curtain

10/21/2019

"Good morning,"
He whispers to me
And every morning after that

My friend sits across from me
In some cafe I don't know the name of
Her demeanor remains confident
She's poised
Elegant
And gives me the smile
That has stolen too many hearts
She talks about her life
As if it was painted by an artist
But in those sky-blue eyes
You can see a shimmer
Of what looks like a tear
But no tears are shed
And she laughs it off
But I know behind that smile
She's breaking

If someone's got a problem with me
They can stand by and watch
They can even bark a few words
But girl
You best be knowing imma walk past em'
Because I am on my own runway show
And don't have time to stop
For those with bad fashion taste

You could've given me the stars
Wrapped in silver wrapping paper
And it still wouldn't be enough

10/21/2019

Wrong choice
They breathed down my neck
And I felt like I was suffocating
Under the pressure
Of a thousand whispers
Shouted from a distance

I wonder what really makes a man?
Is it the blueprint or his plan?
Will he be judged by his deed?
Or by the child he ministered to in need?
Irregardless of the wealth or the fame
A man shall always be known by his family name
Like a stalwart tree against the gale
He stands strong, never to fail



09/25/2020

"No."
She whispers to herself
As his snake-like hand
Slithers down her spine
But she does not stop him
For fear that the snake might bite
So she remains paralyzed
Frozen
As anyone would do
If they were in the presence of a snake

After twenty-one years
I have finally learned
That my heart
Does not have to be left as a gift
On the doorstep of another
And I can leave that special gift
At my own front door



8/13/2020

Aboard a raft
   I am tipping
      And turning
         Readjusting
            And then falling once more

It is a delicate game to play
Going down the river
But I enjoy the ride nonetheless

I lie awake in my bed
With eyes blood shot
From a night of tears
And it's in moments like these
Where I wish you were here

She dreams in bright places
But lives in the dark
Her life is a blanket of shadow
But at night she always turns on the light

She desires the artist
And the dreamer
But is unwilling to pay the price
Of the dream

10/21/2019

When did I start worrying about
What to be
Instead of
Just being?

They say it was a love crafted
By a sculpture who knew their art
But my heart does not follow its design
And no matter how much I try
To conjure up butterflies
Ever time his eyes find mine
I lie
To satisfy a match made by heaven
Or a sculpture
Or whatever
Infinite oblivion determines such things

There are
Scars
On her
Heart
But she longs for the
Stars
That seem too
Far

Boxed off in a corner
I try to test my boundaries
Go to the limits
But the more I push
The more the line recedes
And I feel my small space
Growing ever smaller
So I submit to the space that confines me

I apologize for actions that are not mine
As I grip chocolate and roses in hand
Whispering the words-
I am sorry






12/14/2020

You and I
Had everything except
Practicality
Sensibility
Money
And all the things that
Seek to make order
But it only drove us mad

I wrote you a song
But it had no words
Just interwoven notes
Tied together to form
The most wordless song
I'd ever heard

There are words
Barred behind gates
That have been shut for too long
And wrapped in your arms
On a hand-me-down bed
I feel the gates crumbling
And the three words
I love you in my ear

She whispers a truth
Into the silent air
Past the raging mountains
Through the badger's hole
Around the Redwood trees
To the not-yet-hatched birds
Under the bustling city
Until this truth has penetrated
Every crevice of this earth
And with one breath
She utters the words
"I am alive."

Constantly craving
The attention
Of an unwanted suitor
Is the greatest folly
Of a well-mannered woman




9/3/2020