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 Jan 2017 Key
Arlo Disarray
I've got dirt in my teeth from all the times I've fallen flat on my face
Bleeding lips,
feeling each drop as it drips
Tasting the metal in each crimson sip

My heart is dying
It's simply drying out
The dreams I have of faces I've never seen
leave me feeling empty
and silent
Like all the other thoughts I try to think are banned
I'm no longer allowed to know them

Every day, I rot
from the inside out
It's all dead
The love
The light
The sound

There is nothing

Just a waste of space
with a stupid face
And a heart full of holes
that's drained into my shoes,
and now my steps are squishy
 Nov 2016 Key
ryn
All too familiar...
I have been here not too long ago.

I had dug my heels deep...
I had tasted the moist that hung stale.
Dreaded every next step,
knowing then as I know now...
That again I would fail.

This road well travelled...
Will draw much more,
if not the same.
But I own this endless stretch,
I'll embrace it with discomfort...
For here is the grave that bears my name.
 Nov 2016 Key
Charles Bukowski
safe
 Nov 2016 Key
Charles Bukowski
the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.
 Oct 2016 Key
curlygirl
self control
 Oct 2016 Key
curlygirl
the hardest
part of
letting someone
you love
go is
making yourself
stay away
 Oct 2016 Key
Phillip Knight
I thought;
….. In moments of hope
There was something special in the root of my psyche.
(There was no inspiration left)
When eyes closed and hearts shut down
And my body became lost to the wrap of choking scarves
For migration into blank canvas months
I ceased to exist.

I was the death of character
Homeless
A beautiful flower deserted in a dead field
When.
I became.
Alone.
For was my desolation the finding of my solace?
Or merely the comfort of my own depression
Self-centred.
Abandoning.
No more need for niceties.

Chained to a vinyl that spun with a process of blurred vision
Beaten skin
Bruised ego
Was the last verse of the last song written solely for me
If I play it backwards
Would I hear my name
Repeated
Slowly.
Calmly.

I thought there was something special in my psyche
The ability to help
The strength for others.

Yet as my head hangs low
I see only my silent soul
 Oct 2016 Key
Just Melz
Tick Tock
 Oct 2016 Key
Just Melz
It's dark tonight
And I cannot breathe
The hands of time
Are slowly choking me
Tick Tick
Watch the color
Fade from my face
Tick Tock
Watch my body
Fall through space
Caught inside
These hands of time
Losing my grip
Losing my mind
Tick Tick
Why can't I see
What these hands
Want from me
Tick Tock
I'm fading fast
This life is just a memory
That can never last
 Oct 2016 Key
Jay
Pro-Choice
 Oct 2016 Key
Jay
Beauty, poise, and dignity dancing a three-way tango
Was the essence of her iridescent message
Told to the world at the sight of her presence
Every man goes head sprung to see her hips graze as the
Wind's swift nip tips her midi to lay smooth on her left hip
And her hair whipped by whisks to sift sunlight drips
Eyes dip-dyed in henna she burns passion on a
Narrowly paved road into a man's soul.
But she's just a fabulous face and glorious shape
Protecting her chaste from
Men who's glancing trails she can trace to
That untapped place she takes pride in and embraced.

So this woman who goes on a date
With the fraudulent fake who was gay to
**** her to her face and
Inseminate,
Resulting in the corruption of her precious womb and
Transforming it into a tomb for
His devil spawn to be drawn from,
Has one of two fates?

She can get down on her knees and plead with
Jesus to be free from this ghastly beast that
Grows deep within her integrity
Pray that a robber could steal this
Non-consensual deal that
She can't yet feel multiplying inside her.
Let fate take the reigns and pave the lane
For the blood to drain from her vaginal pane and
Her popped cherry will miscarry?

OR

As dignified a life she lives, she could take back all that freedom she was stripped of in the first place
She could make a choice and have a voice about her own birth space.
Because it's hers and he didn't understand that in the first case.
The jury rests; Her body Her rules, at Her pace
 Sep 2016 Key
Adam
LSD
 Sep 2016 Key
Adam
LSD
The reason on this trip we came
was to forget about superficial dames
chasing money and fame

Our senses piercing through the veils of reality
stuck in a vortex of time and perpetuality
questioning the true nature of reality.

Seeing things for more than what they seem
like how rain resembles life’s intricate themes
and our union, God’s great schemes

Forget the scientific name
and what love looks like conventionally
for LSD means love, serendipity, and dreams
 Sep 2016 Key
Phillip Knight
Silence
 Sep 2016 Key
Phillip Knight
I open my eyes, to warm tea by my bedside
It tells me that you love me
You rose before I
Already welcoming the day,
Feeding the birds and having your cigarette in the dawn
Because you know I’d rather not see you smoke,
But I do not mind that you do.
As we eat our breakfast to the sound of radio 2
I attempt to beat my top score on the morning quiz
You chuckle to yourself at how silly I am for getting frustrated because I am sure it was the right answer
I insist on washing the dishes whilst you sit with a coffee
But then you dry them and insist that I now sit.
As mid-morning approaches, we walk, hand in hand to the shop
Like every day
To buy fresh milk, and bread and something for dinner.
We comment on how the local pond is looking untidy
And stop to pick up some litter we see antagonizing the ducks

The afternoon spent in the sunshine of our garden
As I dig the vegetables and you tend to the potted plants
Watch the birds flirt with each other around the pond
Today is Friday, fish day. The day we’ll eat our tea from our laps, like every Friday
Then while away the evening, in silence, relaxing from the day
My arm reaching over to your chair, holding your hand, and there it stays
Until bedtime
as we swap books and turn out our lights at the same time.
Saturday comes, repeating Friday, it is what we do
it is familiar, and comfortable.
Today, I work on my wine making
as you sit opposite me, cross stitching, in silence.
Tonight we shall catch up on the latest foreign drama
Swap competed books at bedtime
and read, until we both turn out the lights.
Together
Sunday.
We sit, in church, with hand upon hand
And give thanks
For the last time
With your final breath taking you to your knees, to the floor, out of my arms

Tonight I eat dinner alone
Your bed side light does not get turned off
Because you are not there to turn it on
I finish my book, ready to swap with you, but you haven’t finished yours yet
And as I wake there is no tea by my bed. But I imagine it there
Taking two bowls from the cupboard, and putting one back
When you do not hear my breakfast call
And I wonder whether I should touch your plants
Or put away your cross stitched pattern
And I still cook enough for two
Still rest my hand upon your chair
But you are not there
There is a change to the silence
I miss the silence we shared
I miss the fact that we embraced what we liked,
No matter how boring our lives seemed to others
To us it was special
Garden centers were our excitement
Each other was our comfort
I don’t know how to feel comfortable without you silently by my side.
Written in memory of my fathers partner, who sadly passed away a year ago today. They showed me what love in later life should be.
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