A good night sleep is an acquired skill.
Something unknown to the heartbroken, depressed, and confused.
To them sleep is purely a relief; an unseemingly blissful goal that is worked towards

That is once the sadness has settled in for the night and your eyes have grown too tired to cry anymore and finally have dried up

Sleep is Something you fall into on accident from pure exhaustion,
It's not on purpose

These souls are the ones up at night writing
Trying to make sense of the words and the hurt inside of their hearts that seems to leak onto paper before what is written before them can be understood

They are the ones who have a sparkle in their eye and a constant ache in their heart
They are not obvious, oh no
Because someone who really feels sadness knows it's something to be suffered through alone
You wouldn't dare drag someone along for the misery and deceit, the emptiness and aches
Because it's what you are trying to escape


And once you do, if it is at all possible to find happiness and fulfillment in your sorrows

You will lay in bed at night
And your pillow cases will be preserved an eggshell white
And the mascara stains will have vanished
And your mind won't race and clutter and cry out in pain from unknown certainty and tragedy

You'll merely close your eyes, and for once you will sleep.

A constant ache inside my chest
Weeping eyes that just won't rest
Eternal sadness is a constant fear
A lonely life if you're not here

A broken heart time cannot mend
A life without you is one I cannot comprehend
So hard to fathom that you're gone
A stabbing pain i can't move on
Losing you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do
My heart is permanently black and blue

I'll fake a smile when I can
But all I really want to do is see you again..

It's been two months since you've been gone
And I still ask myself why
I can't mend this heartache
Since the day you died

We are so much younger
"we know better than that"
is
what we say

I'm in love with another
you are too

I remember you
we had met in school
You remember me
it is serendipity

We say
" we shouldn't head down that path"

When we enter the river
it is calm and flat
We tell each other
with a glance

"we can't".

One foot follows another
and
into that dangerous river
we
take a chance.

We know the river heads
to
a waterfall
and
in the end
we are bound to take us all.

We don't have a choice.

The water is calm
your lips are soft,
floating
gently down that stream
singing
"life is but a dream. "

At any time we should get out.

You won't let me
and
I won't let you.

We've made our choice.

The warm waters
of
our bodies close
puts
us
half asleep
into
a waking dream

we are hearing things.

As
the pace begins to run
I reach for you
the current is picking up speed
lost in the river moment
we were sure we would be
all that we ever need.

The whiteness of the water
is
screaming at me
the currents of our desires
is picking up speed

Red flags are on the shore
Caution Signs
are glowing
in the sun

The rocky cold waters
are
carrying us all the way through

you grab on to me
I grab on to you
there is calmness
before
we are hurling out
of control
once more

to the precipice corner
of
the water's edge

Our eyes lock
you are looking into mine
desire's fears
blind
like the sun in your eyes.

You are letting go of my hand
rolling
to
the side
I'm not sure if you smile

Your feet are falling fast
holding *******
to
the dirt path.

I look down
into
the tumbling waters
straight to the bottom
to
the rocky reflecting dark pools
of
endless
desire, longings and lies

there is no going back.

The
currents unleashed rolling
are
too fast
too strong
for
that.

Closing my eyes
holding my breath
I take
the
dive
as
a matter of fact

I
went
straight back
to
the moment it all begins
when
I flew head long into you
now
I wonder
how often will
I
play this endless loop
through

just like that.