i heard mom
said amelia was dead.
she drowned
in her own
smoke. i did
not cry, i wondered
if she had anything
to tell me when
she disappeared from
this world.

but i must know before
she had told me, must
i not?

i am
h e r,
after all.

You may never understand it,
But from the very first time I saw you
Before we ever spoke a word
Before we ever met
When you had only smiled at me from a distance,
I knew that from that moment on
I wanted to spend every day
Of the rest of my life
Loving you
Looking after you
Caring for you
And giving my everything
To never lose that smile.

And for the first time,
I decided not to make my bed,
And let the sheets create a mountain
Instead of flattening out each crease until what I considered perfection,
Because who would see my work anyway?
And for the first time,
I let my hair fall without brushing it; I kept the hair tie in the dresser today.
I liked the stretch marks on my belly, and the laugh lines on my face. They made me feel wiser.
I smiled at the lipstick stain my two year old planted on the palm of my hand.
I did what I should have done a long time ago.
I let life in.

The friend zone is a painful place to stay
A place you will be trapped in for longer than a day
You will feel the hopelessness of being just a friend
The never ending feeling of having to pretend

You never know which day you'll finally be free
So I'll share a little secret between you and me
The friend zone is a jail cell, so stop wasting your time
It's almost like manslaughter, if wanting someone were a crime

You've got what it takes to finally leave
But you think they like you, is that what you believe?
The friend zone is higher than Mt.Everest and harder to climb
You're wasting so much effort, money and probably time

Turn your back on people who have so many to choose
Just take your pride and walk away, you've got nothing to lose
If they put you in the friend zone, it's almost never reversed
So don't be someone's second choice, if they are your first.

i found an *******
at the bottom was a smashed
frame
broken glass poking holes
at the bottom
i told them i reached in
and all the glass scratched me
and that was the
first time

the first time he said my name he said it with the sort of uncertainty that made it clear we would be one hell of a love story

I still remember the first time,
You looked at me like I'm actually worth something for,
The first time,
You held out your hand to shake mine,
The first time,
I shook it back and liked the roughness of your palm,
The first time,
You sat next to me,
The first time,
You dared me to dance,
The first time,
I accepted your dare where we had the last dance together.

I keep my heart locked
Behind castle walls
Unable to be touched
Unable to be hurt.
But the walls are weak
Made of straw and mud
With holes and scars lining the back
Easy to sneak through and break.
I opened the gate wide
Just for you.
And you healed my scars and holes
That I hid on the back wall
But you did something worse.
You took your Greek fire
And burned my straw walls
Taking anything left behind
And yet I sit here now
Trying to rebuild my walls
Just to open the gate
And let you back in.

Do you remember the first time
that you kissed her?
Your lips were dry
and they stuck to hers,
only slightly,
but enough to make your cheeks go red.
From that moment you were
overcome
by an insufferable desire to
grasp love with a tireless grip.
She became your everything
in the midst of that kiss.
Her voice
was the most beautiful voice.
Her smell
was the most incredible smell.
Her hair
was the most magnificent hair.
Her smile
was unmatched to any smile ever seen.
You will never find that same infatuation
that you found from your first love.
Your childhood love.
And you will never feel heart break
like the first time
that you see her kissing
your next door neighbour
for a go on his new push bike.
Your broken,
scarred,
but you  learned something that day.
That life goes on
no matter how marred
love can make you.

a boy told me:

I like staring at her dreamy hazelnut eyes.
I love caressing her slender body.
I want to stroke my long fingers on her brunette hair.
I fancy her snow white skin complexion.
I adore her kissable lips
and I'm yearning to give her my mischievous kiss.



and I told myself:

"I wish I am the girl he is talking about."