you will never be forgotten.
ever.
your name twisted into metaphors and colors and distractions will forever
be painted across pages and pages of her favorite brand of notebook,
no matter how many she burns
there will always be one she forgot,
and she will only find it once she had almost forgotten you.
she will find the one Papyrus notebook
and all of your metaphors and colors and disractions will come flooding back,
just like how the ocean in your eyes
flooded her heart all those years ago.

Do not despise being single.
Revel in it.
You must know who you are
BEFORE
you can ever truly know someone else.

I may shiver when I see a slug
on the road;
I may shrink when it’s my turn
to order some food;
my heart may drop when a
drunk comes near;
my feet quicken and my eyes
widen when I walk through
the dark;
I may stutter when I
deliver my presentation to
bored students;
I may be silent during
recess while surrounded
by friends, lest I want
awkward conversation;

but I fear nothing.
That is my lie,
yet it is true,
for I should know
that these are things
I can overcome,
and continue my day.

Don't have pity on me
Just because I may not be as beautiful as they
Or as smart
Or as talented

Or have as many friends
Or as much money

Or that my anxiety kicks in around them
Or that I wish to hide forever

Or that my words are shallow and forgotten
Or that my voice is drowned out in a sea of strangers
And that I can't find myself anymore

But don't have pity on me
Because even though I am broken
And my lips sing the sweet sound of blasphemy
There remains one voice in the back of my mind

Determination.

I found a bird inside a ravaged landscape

Contorted faces with the chemical reactions

The product of my own mind

I get trapped here now and again

But this creature breathes stability in a world otherwise abandoned to its own devices

Anybody that truly knows me can attest to my tenacious mental mess

I suppose it is noble that you wish to rationalize the irrational

But this is not a game

Nor is it a movie portrayed with a Hollywood tint

Some things are best left for nature's unfolding

Still

She said she found my insanity offensive and delightful

If I had the constitution for marriage I would have proposed right there

That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said too me

Unfortunately I can barely handle myself

With the exception of a now and again nomadic turtle

So I let her go knowing I will only complicate

I am only a danger to myself
why make you watch?

Please don't misconstrued

I know my madness is nothing special

But it is mine not yours

You have yet to see true unnerving

I would do my best to guide you to a safe oasis

Still it would fade and shrivel with our collective consciousness

Let someone else do the unraveling
Let someone else make you whole

I try to be a good person

Even if that means the occasional hatred from you

My apologies

I never was a very good human

I use to know the best ways to waste silence

Climb into the sun and dive for time and place

True thoughts prevailed and distract an eager mind

Smile like slapstick and form a new foundation

I suppose we could lose ourselves in these sublime moments

Some tools left for mending
some words left for reaction
Anxiety properly positioned

Misplaced an ego
artificial in it's hold

Lost and fumbled
Temporarily found

Some creatures can't be helped

Claimed this body as your own

went to work with your indifferent sabotage

I slowly shattered with each new head space

Broke me down for spare parts

mumbling a need for mending holes self inflicted

I watch myself in shambles
patchwork for your dark corners

Suggestions are plastered
new breeds are rendered

Remember those days

shots called by sanity

Boring yet stable

safe yet


Maddening?

I only write well when I'm a mess

Knowing this I spit on a fine line

My neighbor thinks I write very bad poetry all the time

I don't argue because it very well may be true

Meanwhile

Burned by my upstairs nuisance

He promised a case of red bull

But only delivered a stereo with no knobs

I would be angry but he is saner than I most days

So I sell the stereo to a deaf bird for nutrition

But my ramen packets break dry and maggot filled

So I eat cancer and drink the sun instead

my pens are all gone

They ran away when I started pacing

most things do

Preparation is key on nights like these

Fall weather comes and I breathed easy

But now my climbing tree's are dying
and my shoes fail in spades

I met a creature who said my words were strange

I laugh because what is normal?
I never did fully know

So that time tested debate unfolds with mouths clenched from use

I offered peace in the way of grape juice but gave myself vitamin c poisoning

So I ***** into the rabbit hole
no home left for that metaphor

I never really saw what all the fuss was about

good night