Is there a version of this life where I am loved by you?
Is there a day when you tell me the truth?
Is there a time for us to be close?

Sorry, I’ve done it again.
Too much on the nose.
Too open.
Too soon.

There is
Forgiveness

As easy
As
An a cupcake

Dashed'

Magic

Because you love me.

You said,

You love me.

That's what you always said.

A couple days ago
I’ve checked up on you.
I admit, even though I’ve let go,
I couldn’t miss out, had to
See your last show.

I had to know
You’re alright.
You don’t sing the bridge like you used to.
Or maybe it was just that night?
Do I care? I don’t know if I hope that you do.

Since I left, I’ve become fuller.
Therapy helps and yes, now I can see.
I was such a stupid woman.
I still am, it’s that now I can breath and just be,
I don’t break upon hearing your name.

I’ve checked up on you, I admit.
You were laughing, dancing and smiling.
I’m so glad that I did what I did.
Despite that lingering, horrible feeling
I can’t shake. I still care.
I still care.

I still care.

There are three words that wake me up.
They ask me boldly if I’m over and out.
Those three words are “happy or sad”.

Can you guess what my answer is?
Can you see it, read it between the lines?
Any poem, you chose one of mine, maybe this?
Happy or sad?

I am looking at the night sky and the stars smile back.
They are beautiful, such as you are.
You reach out and I take your hand.
Lights appear, as if we were approached by a car.

Turn around and you’re not there to find.
And my hand, it is empty once more.
I look back at the sky and it’s dark.
There’s no light and no stars anymore.

Am I making myself super clear?
Shall I make for a new start?
I had no idea I was loved by a star.
Happy or sad?

There needs to be a goodbye.
Inside my head at least.
There is only an endless sea of ideas that are having their feast
And I feel like drowning in it.

It is funny, because I just now am learning to swim,
At the tender age of 28.
And it was looking like I might actually be able to activate
The truth within me.

Couple months ago I have found the sense
To escape the lies.
Before that of course I was only looking for truth inside your eyes.
All I found was

A man incapable and a woman unable.

She was, well, not me.
Some twisted, cornered,
Broken version of me that I never could have imagined the honor
Of even dreaming.

She was looking for healing
In every pair of eyes,
but hers.
In every gush of wind to bring the release and the lightness
For the spirit in her soul.

And her soul, oh her soul cried.
Tired, trying to be heard,
Her soul tried every trick in the book of the earth.
And she heard.

Finally, angels praised, she awoke.
Her soul was revealing the truth she has always known.
It is dark, 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night and as always,
She is alone.

If you,
my love,
my twin star,
my twin soul,

want me to be with another ,
I will fulfil your wish.

But please, oh please,
Make another wish.

Forgive me. I’m at it again.
Addiction? Attraction? Confession.
Was looking so deep into it then,
I almost could see your reflection.

My heart is unshaken, it’s certain.
It’s yours that will beat by its side.
Until then all it has is to do with the hoping.
You are close. I can feel it inside.