cuddle up together by the firelight
cozy and content on a christmas night
with a glass on wine to give your heart a glow
looking out the window at the falling snow

then a gentle kiss to make the night divine
for a night of bliss as your arms entwine
such lovely setting filled with such delight
both in love together on a christmas night

World of code;

riddle,
and a brand new
language.
I hold you close my
dear, as you stumble on through the dark night.
This knowledge
is hastening to bring my demise.
You sit within my pentameter,
so when did
I lose my peaceful mind?
I'm still struggling in poetry, in finding art
amongst the burdens of the street. You're applying sunscreen
to your back and shoulders, and then
you're basking in the heat of my astral beach.
I'm stranded here
alone now,
sending these postcards
to nowhere at all. I have grown tired
of this mere existence,
of fading in the city sprawl.
Now Mathematics
is the language of the universe,
and will speak for
centuries to come,
gravity making sense
out of chaos, and will talk forever over
the nuclear bomb.
I'm learning
my sums again darling, I'm going back
to a clean state of mind, hoping to discover
an answer, to why I'm

constantly falling
behind. When I find the equation I will
call you, and profess them unto the stars,
a love never lost
in
translation, now witnessing both the sea and the source.

She's like a field of wildflowers, beautiful, untamed
When the winter comes, I still will love her just the same
Beneath the veil of snow, I know she still remains
Waiting patiently, to be washed clean by spring rains

She's something like the sun, rays of warmth and love are beeming
I'm more like the moon, its hard to shine when I'm not feeding
Off of the light extending out, when it hits I have no doubt
I could live this life alone, but will not live this life without,
My wildflower

Monster stay with me all around
They shot down my hope, Pinned my heart to the ground
They walk beside me, silent stalkers with no end
They lean in and whisper
daring me as they bash inside my head
I hate the feeling they rip through me
They steal my happiness and claw at my smile
They turn it into a frown, but I guess its alright after awhile
After all, they are part of me
The only thing I want to be
The only thing I hate to accept
Is the monster inside of me

Sometimes I wonder , what life could've been without me here . Sometimes I wonder if I should be gone or not but the fact is , it's all up to me . Not anybody else .

Both made of carbon
But we are not the same

Wake up, hot cauterized rot. I found emboldens embossed with the red lit colour of a forgotten world, holding onto leaflets of falsified thought, holding onto entanglements forged in the bowels of saran’s vast vessel timelessly caught in the meanderings of homer as he sweeps his vast oceans of godly oceanic tender towards the shores of a dilapidated Greece, beholden to the gods, bewildered for the rest as Achilles in all his might stumbles before the sand praising its opaque glory as crimson tides wash upon its shores

Do you ever open your eyes and see something so dark?
Something so dark it's like you never opened them?
Then you turn your head and see the light, and look at it questionably, when your crying on the inside to be accepted and crying outside to be loved, and to have someone care, someone to hold you and say I love you even if it's not the love you want.
Have you wanted someone to wipe away your tears and say it's not time to cry yet, it's not time to worry.
When you try so hard to please and end up getting stepped on
I do. And I cry. And I hurt.
Does that make people notice?
No.
Do I have someone hold me as say I love you, even if it's not the love I want?
No.
I open my eyes at night and see darkness like I never actually opened my eyes. And. Sometimes. I. Don't. Notice. The. Light.
And then I float into a imaginable life, called a dream. Somewhere I can only go when I sleep.  Somewhere I can go to when I sleep because it's easier to sleep then face my life. Somewhere where I'm actually loved and accepted.
And Then I open my eyes, to that exact same darkness.
Did I ever open my eyes?
I didn't did I?
I guess I will try again another time. But that day I see that real warm light, is the day I start loving myself.
But that will take centuries. And waiting hurts. But in my life
All I do is wait.
{tbt}