I'm sorry, younger me
For not fighting hard enough
To save you mentally
From all this painful stuff
That was done to you at such a young age
From someone that you trusted

I'm sorry I didn't scream for help
When he was abusing you
I'm sorry for not fighting back
For just laying there in shocked silence
As he touched your rack
I'm sorry for not being strong enough
To push him off your tiny body
I'm sorry for everything
That he has done to you
Younger me
I am so, so
Sorry...

Hope is like a harebell
Trembling from its birth

Your eyes are filled with fire and galaxies
And your heartbeat thrumming against your chest
And into my eardrums
Pierces me with some type of calm
I'm not used to feeling.

And your presence
Is presently
The only thing I crave.

I hope for my heart and soul
To collide with yours,
In some type of sunset-colored supernova.

And your voice plays along inside my head,
Building up waves of robin's egg blue
And rushing white and royal, shimmering navy.

You are mine
As I am yours
And despite all my fears
Nothing will change that
Not truths to falsehoods
Or falsehoods to truths.
Not visions of the past
Or past visions.

And I could count every star
Visible to me
And still the number would not compare
To the great sum
That is my love for you.

But every star in the sky's
Brilliance does not compare to you.

And it *****,
Because your grin pulled a trigger,
Sending an explosive array of metaphysical
Bullets of "This is all I need,"
Right through my chest.

And as I lay in the grass,
Sadness and confusion bleeding out from my wound,
And an infection of optimism
And gleeful epiphanies
And feelings of finally being home,
Developing in the torn up skin and broken bones,
And shredded muscle tissue,
I look up at the stars overhead.

And finally I understand,

Because you are not one single star to me,
You're the whole **** sky.

I lost it all a year ago:
not a lover, but
a friend,
one after another,
in domino effect.

And as this year
takes its final
curtain call,
I’ve been left
(almost nearly)
on my own
to greet
the year of
2017

As the loneliness creeps in

When you look back on it, you think:
"Those were the good times"
"She was the best for me"
"I've never been so in love"

But we're all blind.
Blind to the fights,
Blind to the tears and curses,
Blind to the way we felt
In the worst times.

Our minds hold on to the good memories,
In our minds we see only the smiles and laughs
The trips and days spent rolling in bed.
We blind ourselves to the way
Things really went--and why they ended.
We're all blind to the bad
When we want the good times back.
We're all blind to someone who hurt us.

Colour coded wonder drugs
For the replacement
Of Love and it's joyous thugs

Out of the woodwork comes my moral obligations
Black and white
Never more than an understudy
'Watching time go by

I hope you see the end of this song
Gradients so plainly tight
Miscast by mothers
The theory of the other

Watching, time goes by
Drinking and praying
Black and white
Shades and gradients
Of things I tried