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115 · Jan 19
Ban
Kaiden Jan 19
Ban
Ban everything,
Media,
Differences,
And the will to live.

Ban everything, except yourself.
The history book on the shelf always repeats itself.
111 · Dec 2024
To Drab
Kaiden Dec 2024
This isn't a poem but a piece of writing to remember a wonderful person that was here before randomly dissapearing. Some of you might remember him. He was that one kind, older man who wrote poems i absolutely loved and was also my first follower. I'm not sure why he left or what happened but i wanted to write this so people would remember him. I never knew him personally and i didn't even know him for long here. He was pretty active on here and i feel like it got a bit empty without him. I love everyone here but i feel like everyone remembers their first follower/supporter, especially if they were active. So, Drab, even tho you probably can't read this, thank you.
His account got deleted so i cant show yall sorry :(
also, sorry it's not perfectly written, i can't really focus today
108 · Apr 3
I'm sorry
Kaiden Apr 3
I'm sorry.
For being a failure,
Not helping you enough,
Not knowing when i should help you.
I'm sorry for the things i said,
Did,
For what i put you through.
I'm sorry
For being sorry.
This one is honestly to like 6 or more people, i'm not exactly sure why i wrote it but still decided to do so.
108 · Apr 4
Worry
Kaiden Apr 4
Worry hurts.
A lot more than it should,
Sometimes it's different than just hoping
Someone would get home safely.
Sometimes it's worrying about someone's life.
To those that read "hurt him", the guy responded. He left the server he loved, he texted me and apparently he's really stressed and im extremely worried about him. He said he's not suicidal but I'm still really worried.
108 · Dec 2024
Heart
Kaiden Dec 2024
Make my heart shatter
To assemble it again
And destroy it later
Breaking it into more pieces
105 · Dec 2024
Nonsense
Kaiden Dec 2024
I
Am
Bad
With
Stuff
Barely
Showing
The way i am
Explainin'
Them and i am
Seeing that i
Don't belong to
This world for
The current age
Alright so even i dont have any idea of what this is about (the first line has 1 letter, the second 2 and so on) so yeah
104 · Jan 10
Myself
Kaiden Jan 10
I miss who i was
Don't know who i will be
And I'm scared of what I've become.
I don't really know who i am anymore.
102 · Apr 8
Toy
Kaiden Apr 8
Toy
Being toyed with our feelings,
We function against our will
Controlled my the lucky-born
Stuck in the sweet delusion of hope.
..
99 · Jul 9
Cold water
Kaiden Jul 9
When your hands are freezing, cold water seems warm,
A bit of kindness seems like a confession,
Trauma seems like normal life.
I really wish i could control the water's temperature myself.
dawg idk im bored๐Ÿ’”
99 · Dec 2024
All i wanted
Kaiden Dec 2024
I got everything i wanted
But not in the way i hoped
I have a feeling that everything i wished for when i was younger happened later but in a way that either hurt me afterwards or just completely different than what i wanted. I also really wanted bad stuff to happen to me (i dont know why) and it all happened. I might just be paranoied but still.
99 · Apr 8
Death
Kaiden Apr 8
It holds your hand gently
As it leads you to your demise,
Pulling you hard
Or stopping you.
It chooses for you.
..
98 · Apr 3
Poetic?
Kaiden Apr 3
"Quite poetic, isn't it?"

"Everything is poetic."
A real conversation i had with someone, and a sentence i say a lot. Technically, everything is poetic.
97 · Jun 25
__
Kaiden Jun 25
__
So i closed my eyes,
Hoping to blur the image,
Yet it stayed untouched.
Why must my own brain betray me?
Or it it me that can't seem to let go?
it's been almost 8 months, i should be over this by now..
97 · Feb 10
Truth
Kaiden Feb 10
It hurts
While forcing you
To accept itself
Idk im bored
96 · Apr 22
..
Kaiden Apr 22
..
my art is dead
and so am i
say whatever the ******* want but i can see my art dying.
93 · Jun 20
Your eyes
Kaiden Jun 20
I watched the light leave your eyes,
As you cancelled your plans once more,
A child that desperately tries,
Yet can't seem to just let go.

The same pattern i know all too well,
I see you turn into something i hated for years,
Because the look, that look can tell
The million words that no one hears.
again, i havent written in a long time but it doesnt matter anymore. my brother is turning into a **** copy of me, which is bad. he's literally a **** mess right now, and i wont be able to see him for **** knows how long because as soon as summer break starts i might be put in a mental hospital because of things i won't say on here. i have no idea how to help him, he lives too far away and if nothing changes, the next time i'll see him will be in august, on my birthday (if my mother lets him). i highly doubt i'll be alive by then. i might forget him, but tf am i supposed to do then? like okay, i'll kms, whatever, but what about him? i honestly feel like it's better if i just die instead of letting him watch my mental health get worse, cuz he knows it'll happen to him eventually. he's not stupid. im trying to help him but i really can't, he doesnt let anyone help him. i dont even know if he's alive now, but i hope he is. i know im rambling about random **** now but if you have any ideas, please dm me or something, i'd take any advice atp
89 · May 29
Last rant for now
Kaiden May 29
(again, if this gets taken down it's fine)

So.. Idk if this can be called a rant, im kinda just explaining some stuff. School is really too much rn, im failing literally everything. Then there's some personal stuff, but that's not important cuz that's just mental health stuff. I tried to stay for longer, but i genuinely can't anymore. Because of this, i will be taking a break for a while. I'm fine, really, i just need some time to think about stuff. I know no one cares, but idk it just felt rude to leave without an explanation. Anyway, I'll come back as soon as i can, I'm sorry.
Again, i know no one cares but whatever
87 · Feb 11
Different
Kaiden Feb 11
The same
Yet so different
Same person
But they changed.
Who thought that one sentence
Can change so much
When you lose a friend (or more), they're technically still the same person but so different
85 · May 18
..
Kaiden May 18
..
Who should i be
When i am gone?
When i have lost,
And his words won.
When what comforted me
Brought me pain,
A rapid fall,
After a gain.
To repeat this over and over again.
sorry for not writing, ive been dissociating so bad for the past few days and it *****
81 · Apr 22
..
Kaiden Apr 22
..
click.
                                                                                      click.
                              scratch.
                                                         tear.
          scrunch.
                                                                        throw.
        

              i'm a ******* disappointment please help me.
..
81 · Apr 23
Update
Kaiden Apr 23
Hi so this is a bit different from what i usually write but yeah.
Thank you so much to all of the people that were worried, i wouldn't be here without y'all (i'm serious, you guys were the reason i didn't go through with it). Basically i had a random breakdown from bottling stuff up and i was trying not to off myself, which ended like this. I'm somewhat fine now and i'll talk to my therapist and all that. Again, thank you all so much.
<3
78 · Jun 24
..
Kaiden Jun 24
..
Has your voice fallen silent,
Or is it my ears that no longer hear?
Did your words fade away,
Or is it my eyes that went blind?
Did the paper burn,
Or does my hand no longer know how to write?

Tell me,
Do these stupid words answer the question,
I yet have to look for?
The question,
I've been so afraid to ask,
Let alone find.

Is it my fault,
That you no longer exist in my world,
Or did the universe see you as a mistake on its own?
Is it my fault,
That i simply cannot hate you?
could be better, honestly, but at least i went back to writing (i deadass have no idea what to write about but as long as it sounds decent, i dont mind i guess.. i need someone to write about, but for that i will have to wait ****)
78 · Jul 25
Father
Kaiden Jul 25
You stole my childhood,
My innocence,
The little boy that was still learning his body parts.
"he's your father, forgive him" would you forgive him if he did it to you? I don't ******* think so.
75 · Jul 25
Love
Kaiden Jul 25
Another, more delusional word for hate.
I wrote this like 3 years ago ****, maybe love isn't necessarily hate but it definitely looks similar sometimes
73 · Apr 22
Erase myself
Kaiden Apr 22
I quietly erased myself
From your life
Dot by dot
Until the day came
When i disappeared
With nothing but a "sorry" and "i love you".
Today at 5:37am i texted 3 of my friends to not worry about me if something happened to me and that i love them, before logging out of discord. I can't bring myself to log in again. The "dot by dot" part mean me erasing one of the 8 dots i had in my bio each day. I knew no one would notice it, but wasted time on it anyway. I don't know what's going on with me anymore. Also, if you have time, please read the thing i wrote earlier, it would mean a lot.
72 · Nov 2024
Writing block
Kaiden Nov 2024
Every writer's nightmare
The feeling that makes you feel completely helpless,
Useless.
It's more than just losing motivation

The writing block hurts
You can't write a single word
Knowing you have to
So you just hope it passes
Feeling anxious with every second

And when it ends
The new one is already coming
It's an endless cycle
Not the best but i dont really know what to write, i might upload some of my older ones tho
71 · Jul 7
Lie to me
Kaiden Jul 7
Lie to me
And tell me you love me,
While both of us know
You don't.
idk i feel like my writing is getting so much worse but im too tired to care
68 · Jul 7
pathetic
Kaiden Jul 7
is it pathetic,
that the only way i can deal with your words
is hurting myself?

an argument
that you'll forget about in 15 minutes,
leaves scars on my body
that will last forever.
apologies don't erase the damage, especially if it's physical, and i don't care if i sound like a **** rn but she should ******* understand that
63 · Jul 22
Success
Kaiden Jul 22
What does success even mean
If we all die in the end?
62 · Jun 24
How dare they
Kaiden Jun 24
I miss your soft voice,
I'm terrified of forgetting the sound of it,
Angel,
How dare they steal the only light i had?
The one that would comfort me when i was sad,
How dare they take away the only person
That truly cared?
The only voice, that when i was scared
Would take the demons,
And lock them away in himself.
How dare they,
Dim the only star in my sky,
And tell me i simply closed my eyes,
How dare they lie..

Tell me, will that star ever shine again?
Or will the spot on the sky be forever abandoned?
sorry if this one is bad, i haven't written normal stuff in a while
51 · Jun 25
No.
Kaiden Jun 25
No.
A word you didn't seem to understand,
You acted on your thoughts
You believed everyone shared.

You tried to justify it by feelings,
Pretending there was a need for

The things you've done,
The innocence you've stolen
From your own child.

You imagined the desire
A toddler could never feel,
And proudly shared it with your friends.
Bragging about how mature
Your "little girl" was.

How good it felt for you,
To wipe the tears with the very same hand
That hurt me.

How you loved the sound
Of useless pleas,
A body you created to use.
sorry if this is triggering but im honestly so ******* done with my father, he moved to the same city as me recently and i'd rather die than be alone with him again cuz i know **** well what would happen
49 · Jul 25
Write my life
Kaiden Jul 25
I wish i could
Write my own life
Without someone else holding the pen
Free will doesn't really exist in this world
46 · Jul 25
Words
Kaiden Jul 25
Words, as beautiful as they are,
Can't capture the feeling of relief
After harming the skin you were given
By "God".
They'll never capture the guilt
After putting the tool away,
The feeling of being cared for while you clean your own cuts,
The promise of never doing it again,
And the betrayal of your own words
Bruh i wanna be able to write better againnnnn, writer's block is a *****๐Ÿ’”
#sh
35 · Jul 25
"Just one last time"
Kaiden Jul 25
It's been 4 years.
Over time it went from "just this once" to "deeper" and i really dont know how to quit tbh
34 · Jul 10
Devil
Kaiden Jul 10
The devil cannot be defeated,
It simply shifts between the bodies of those,
That were foolish enough to give in to it
im so ******* done honestly
27 · Jul 25
Mother
Kaiden Jul 25
I miss your love,
Your voice that made all the pain go away,
Your hands that always knew how to make something
Out of nothing.

Now i only get your hate,
Your voice that causes me pain
And your hands that hit me for not being perfect.
I just want her back, at least for 5 minutes

— The End —