As I read our old convos and read the word "babe", uttering it loudly felt strange.
As if I haven't gotten used to it when we were together. It felt like forever.

It's been 16 months now since we parted ways.
I wonder how long will I get used to the days
of not thinking of you nor dreaming of you.

I hope that's the last stage i have to endure to forget.

Coworkers seeking chit chat
I've a long night at that
Smiling and nodding robotically
If I leave they will hate me

The office party is on
They usually drag on till dawn
I look around for a spot
Just to hide out from the lot

Raising my head I see you
Eyes bright and blue
You look in my direction
I smile to show affection

As you move near me
My heart begins it's plea
Your fragrance precedes
A temptation indeed

Inches from me you stand
I reach out my hand
You slip your fingers in mine
Pulling me close its divine

You whisper in my ear
Why are you trembling dear?
I answer with a gentle kiss
Your smile tells me you like this

My intention is to hold you close
And dance until we overdose
My hands enjoy your curves
Another kiss to calm your nerves

Our bodies move in unison
This night has just begun
Dance with me till daybreak
These feelings I can't fake

I am not a landfill for
Insecurities
I am not the void to repair
Damaged masculinity
Yes, I am a woman
Comfortable with my sexuality
But, aren't I supposed to decide
When i want that kind of intimacy?
Everyone's got their demons
I'm always the dirt beneath their shoes
As the climb from the pit
I want to be more
I want to be whole
I want to be strong enough
To stop it when I say no
**** is a four letter word
I wish I didn't feel it in my bones
When the one I loved hushed my cries,
I said no

i was in love more times than i can count
before i met you in the heat of summer
in the wrong coffee shop
on the wrong street
but maybe i was never in love before you

every girl who’s hands have mingled with mine
have always felt forced
and clammy
and fleeting
and bounding

it was anxiety hugging my body
tighter than any of them ever could
and a cloud of desperation
separating them from me
love was always about power
or who could lust the hardest

i always won.
i always left first.

you’ve showed me that isn’t love at all
but i beg the questions
what is love
who am i to say
who are you to give it to me
who are we to create feelings only we can feel

we are artists making notes of reactions
while we show each other a world we never knew existed
the things that have always happened
in our peripheral vision
but never felt important to notice

this is what i want to feel
freedom.
freedom.
freedom.

When your footsteps falter and slip
Hold on to me
If your eyes fill with tears
And the future seems blurred and distant
I'll be there to take your hand
You may not see me
But you'll feel me there
Right beside you
Always
So hold on to me

                        By Phil Roberts

I wanted to scream
at the top of my lungs
and tell you that if you're ever
looking for me
you know where to find me
and i'll always be here
waiting
but at this point i knew
i was just yelling
with lungs filled with water
and you would never hear me
but i will always be here
waiting

It never seems the right time.
Watching night pursue the day.
That one light spread across a blanket.
That one rebellious soul that sees all but never says a word.
You shy away, but still I chase.
Wandering about until it gets dark enough to truly see you.
There I wait, knowing only persistence