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782 · Feb 2015
Training to survive
JWolfeB Feb 2015
Steps to taking the easy way out

1. Take the bullets out of the gun. Leaving your family is harder than one thinks.

2. Love your self. For some days the hate will have ****** dammed into your sub conscious, convincing you of your futile existence.

3. When hanging yourself, forget how to tie knots. Loosen your pain. Use the rope to anchor yourself, stand your ground.

4. Repeat steps 1-3. These situations will occur again. Don't be afraid to memorize your worth.

5. Keep the medicine cabinet closed. There are demons behind those double doors that want to dissect you.

6. Breathe.

7. Stop running. This isn't a marathon.

8. Take the bullets back out of the gun, you are not in season and so refuse target practice.

9. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat step 9 until enlightenment occurs.
A different take on suicide
777 · Apr 2015
This girl I know
JWolfeB Apr 2015
Her eyes became the only sunrise I needed
Palms a landscape of familiar territory
The hair on her head
The hair on her head
The hair on her head
It suffocates me sometimes
Makes me feel vibrant
Teeth full of star shine
I took to studying the imperfections of her body
To find the stories in her scars
Memorize the curvature of her spine
The swagger of her walk
These things replay in my mind
Just as darkness never falls in the arctic during summer
She does not leave my mind in the present
777 · Nov 2014
Crossword
JWolfeB Nov 2014
Place your words across my body
Like a crossword

1 down
your hair on my shoulder when I sleep

7 across
The curve in your clavicle

14 across
Answers to prayers we have not made yet

2 down
Forgive my jaw for hitting the floor

11 down
Love

11 down
Unknown

11 down
Promise

11 down
My vision is blurry
A little differnt
776 · Aug 2014
Going and gone
JWolfeB Aug 2014
I have always wanted to let you go

Like a sloth when he grabs his own arm,

only to find out it is not a branch.

I want to fall away from you.

A free fall of every emotion I can't justify.

Love is not something we possess.

I hate myself for not loving you.
768 · Nov 2014
Call
JWolfeB Nov 2014
I'm leaving you softly
behind the photographs
next to the dark room of my past

I'll find you roughly
in every surface I touch
next to the mausoleum

I'd miss you fondly
if I could understand
that you have left

I'll call god quickly
just to ask him
how you have been
Missing my mother. It has been two years now.
767 · Feb 2015
Created
JWolfeB Feb 2015
This time I broke my heart
Giving us a chance to be together once more
Lacing
Weaving
Quilting
Stapling
Creating a stained glass temple
Beauty created through cut palms
Melding
Forming
Fitting
Polish the tainted glass windows of my soul
Bring me clarity in crystalline fractures
Kaleidoscope
Transparent
Allow your parts to hold my heart together
Creating this bombshell heart
Outright
756 · Nov 2014
Teach me these
JWolfeB Nov 2014
Main idea

Realize the importance of the stampede in your bones.
Know that this is not the end of the story. There are years of details still to be written about the craters you will cause on this earth. Long lasting impressions with extensive lab reports of how you changed the world.

Infer

Read between the lines of tomorrow. Know that it is not your best friend and will easily take your lunch money without a guilty conscience. So guard your intelligence, smile brightly and say excuse me in the hallway. For tomorrow will not know what hit it when you come through that door with a straight spine. Confidence is everything when compared to things that have not happen yet.

Problem and solution

Every moment can be your biggest problem if you let it be. The itch in our eyes tells us our brain has the power to resist self defeat. Bring me the solution that tells about the optimism in your footfall. Solving all the worlds problems with all of the education and none of the motivation. More of the issues with less time allowed to fix them. This education system is failing us.

Summary

Stand up and fight. Give every ounce you have left in your existence. Please understand you are going to be short changed in this life. You are the one with the power to gain knowledge. Read between the lines of your past. Don’t fall into the same learned helplessness. Let me help you with the solution. I promise the equation is within reach. You are not alone.
Teaching in a village in the arctic circle is frustrating and rather difficult. But the fire in the kids' heart and passion brings me back everyday ready to teach.
749 · Nov 2016
This book of mine
JWolfeB Nov 2016
As I take a look at the book on the dusted end table.  The pages hugging like too many people in a subway going too many places all with the same stop. The cover being the perfect misrepresentation of its contents. Comfortablely controlling the chaos that lays upon its tree filled inters. Words have been violently thrashed on to each page. Filled with names, verbs, destinations all of which were unexpected and uninvited.

I cradle this book into my dry palms. Run my imperfect fingertip across the spine with a chill. Pry back the very protective cover created to keep strangers from entering it's home. My eyes cast over the detailed words implanted on the inner walls. Absorbing each and every miniscule idea from the stationary knowledge upon each page.

Days pass as the final page has arrived. The book is placed back on the end table. Lonely and longing. We are far too similar me and this book. We both share a cover used to show too many people too little about the brilliance we hold. Too many people have passed us up without giving a second thought. There have been words typed into my brain stem without me asking for them to be put there. Every single person that explores us will find different knowledge
743 · Dec 2016
ABC
JWolfeB Dec 2016
ABC
Allow me to be found
Between book ends and whiskey bottles
Creating mishaps between the both of us
Dreaming of a chance away from here
Echo the hallow chamber of our bedroom
Finding every lost chance we had at communicating
Ghosts
Hoping someone will take notice
I am here
Just a passing ship in the night
742 · Apr 2015
Intentional
JWolfeB Apr 2015
God decided to write her as a constellation
All beauty, yet slightly misunderstood
She stood
A median beyond heavenly rustic hinges
Only god himself has the patience for the excellence between us
We built books
Attempting to explain
How she became the light upon darkness
The flame moving toward arrival at light speed
Accompanied by mother moon
740 · Jan 2015
Distanced
JWolfeB Jan 2015
This heart communicates through airwaves and satellites

Spreading thin on  paper skylines

Looking fully complete there in its worthless

The wind dilutes the potency of me

These words are tumbleweeds on a lonely highway

Waiting to be picked up and taken on a ride
Long distance has left a hollow heart. Attempting to translate.
729 · Mar 2015
Gravedigger
JWolfeB Mar 2015
He wanted to be a gravedigger
A man bold enough to discover the past
Someone to show that our bodies return
To the earth that created us
718 · Oct 2014
Marry me
JWolfeB Oct 2014
Whisper my future
etch them into your palms
drawing a line between you and me

Blink away my past
burn a vision of elation
one so vivid you wake me from this dream

Scream my name
so hard your throat believes you
and your name becomes one with mine

Marry me
give me the palm of my future
forever, just you and me
Friends are getting married. Just thought about marriage for a little and how promising and beautiful a marriage could be.
712 · Aug 2014
My cowboy
JWolfeB Aug 2014
The horse ran for days. Without a moments delay it arrived to the infamous nowhere it set off to. Tracing tracks off of uncomfortable moments taken by men in black coats. That horse of his ran. Finding nowhere to run but away. Anywhere but here he told me. Here is not a place he could see his stampede of a heart settling. The stampede moved on. On and over. Over any and everything. Stepping on stools that looked like broken backs and flattened hearts. That cowboy kept running. He never stopped to recognize brilliance. The brilliance between his ears or the one between his skeletal cage of insides. The dust gathered on the platform he knew as home. People stopped by to visit once in a while. To find a flown coupe and no sign of coming back.

Nowhere. The place he eventually stumbled upon. Full of everything he has been running from. Trampling his neurotic brain waves with memories tucked in and put to bed. Cowboy couldn't make sense of the insanity. Of a pursuit of everything left behind would catch him before he arrived. The longing took over as judge. Leveling any possibility of freedom in conscious captivity. Haunting every step the man took away from every issue dropped in garbage cans. Cowboy stool up, chest out his quills drawn. Ready, steady, and ready to attack everything. When this man turned around. He found himself. Alone. Not a single heart around to listen. He did it. Ran away from everything. Including himself. Dirt and dust coving his mouth, the man stood in amazement. Astonished he had found everything he never wanted.
This man never arrived. The town doesn't exist. And neither does the cowboy. But sometimes I wish it were that easy that easy to run.
710 · Nov 2014
Braid my heart
JWolfeB Nov 2014
Her fingertips smelt of ashtray
The air stale like the dentures in her purse.
We try not to talk as much in small rooms
Everything seems to get complicated
Too busy
Words wrapped around our throats
Choking our ability to speak honestly

The stone slate she laid upon was once called a bed
Sleep can’t happen on such a platform
Stiff as the pain she feels on days
Like everyday
She told me the dreams she had once
The ones about living her life

These dreams were filled with elation
Something to fill the empty side of the bed
Her tongue was dry
From talking about these dreams
The ones that never happen
Ever
They were stolen from her
Stuffed into a newspaper article

Her dreams reside in the morphine drip
Clenched deep inside her fist
Holding on to anything
Onto her sons
Gods gift upon this earth
A reason to resist deaths shadow

For another chance to say I love you
Be strong my boys
Be wise
Treat your woman like you treated me
Love the way I love you
Smile for it gave me a reason to live
Missing her as 2 years approaches.
703 · Jan 2015
Spacial empathy
JWolfeB Jan 2015
Silence spoke the loudest today
Rendering another 1000 miles between our destined destination

Loosely leaping for compliments
Falling into black holes who are still angry they exist

Empty rattled anything in nothing
Leaving shattered constellations in unknown galaxies

Gravity will not bring this closer
Swimming in a sea of going no where fast

Finding lost satellites
Projecting incorrect displays of what it means to be forgotten
703 · Jun 2014
Home
JWolfeB Jun 2014
I have the special ability to spit spliced railroad tracks into all the right places. I Filled my ears with drainage tubes down complicated compliments through subway grates to visit the homeless man that believes in a better tomorrow. Because someone has to. Now I have never been on a subway, but the way your presence flows through my veins like a bullet in a barrel makes me feel that maybe i can be the one to deliver this moment. The moment that I was late for. Two years late. It took me a while to understand that the platform we have eloquently been slapping graffiti across will one day be our home. A home of every moment we have shared. Home has always been a place of here and there. I have never been able to stay in a specific longitude for more than a lifetime of awkward moments shared between a ******* and a clergy man. I choose to live in a mobile home. With wheels built off rotating personality disorders that refuse to believe in teamwork. We traveled through state borders leaving the past inside us for all to confide in. In my home, I have a room. I keep in there everything you don't know about. It builds comfort through my sternum. Exploding into my ribs that hug my organs with safety. Home is the place I want to be. My veins are electrical cords spitting energy though plywood walls charged with dreams about a remodel. A 4x2 for a spine stiff enough to support this bobble head of mine. My knee caps still need to be replaced at some point. They don't know how to walk in a straight line yet. Finding curves in my consciousness. Although  Constructing this safe haven has been a Wreckless abandonment of everything I have learned from informercials at 4am. It started with a foundation of this will never go anywhere, transitioned into a tumbling saw blade crashing through dandelions for being so **** confusing. I still can't tell the difference between those and flowers. We ended here. In the dumpsters Bags I hide under my eyes. Full of memories from every time I said "I can sleep when I'm dead". Its all stuck in my head like a diamond plated dorito that was prized in a box for those who want more than good enough. So as I cough up my confidence I will sit next to you, on this subway, the one I have never been on. I will muster up some courage to honor all the good in you, and ask you simple questions like how was your day? What's your middle name? And where do you paint your home? Spray me across the definite realization that home is where you are.
701 · Sep 2015
Learn this
JWolfeB Sep 2015
Please set your pencils down
They no longer matter as much as the atom bomb in your chest
Put your minds to sleep
We will only need them to manipulate a system
This system is broken
We are sure
But you don't get a choice
Yes please stand up and use your voice
Just not here or now
Not in this classroom
Or this school
I am here to teach you about standardized testing
Your feelings can rest at ease
Knowing that they don't matter to a legislature
We no longer need you to be creative
Just regurgitate this information
Throw it into the air
Show us you are learning
Progressing
Please
Pass this test so I can keep teaching
Please
******* at the amount of standardized testing my students have to endure. So here is a frustration poem.
701 · Jan 2015
Historical fiction
JWolfeB Jan 2015
One day I want my poems
To be etched into the sides of mountains
Upon the ceilings of caves
Left for my ancestors

Allowing them to feel with their palms
The emotion set into stone
From times I was too weak to speak
While only words would suffice

They will inscribe these artifacts
On pages of history books
Telling the next generation
To never stop writing
698 · Aug 2014
locksmith
JWolfeB Aug 2014
There was a locksmith in her finger tips. Every one of them showing a different ridge. A ridge of perpetual movement to find the right home. A slipped out the back door without saying goodbye. Ridges lining moments shadows like to hide from. When I hold her hand I don't ask questions. Embracing warmth between summer and the next breathe exiting her chest.

She was made beautiful. Crafted gorgeous. And stood untouchable.

I needed a locksmith. A savior with enough courage to talk back. Someone to open stubborn. She broke me human that night. Cracking my safe full of bad habits and leave out of this.

The lock fell off without a struggle. I was left, naked and afraid. Open and vulnerable.
696 · Feb 2015
Lead poisoning
JWolfeB Feb 2015
The gun felt cold against my skin
Safety still on
Pulling the trigger only happens in movies
Fear holding me sideways
Dreaming of courage to take the bullet out
So instead I began holding pencils to my temple
Attempting to rewrite my future
691 · Jun 2014
Hi
JWolfeB Jun 2014
Hi
We have met once before.
You lined the sky.
Mostly with blue.
Sometimes with pastels.
You threw up clouds.  
Smiled translucent rays.
Exhale fresh of lavender fields.
Let me explore you.
Run through you like a field.
Embracing every grace me with your presence.
Soak into me with your intoxication.
Fill me up from every pour.
Step into this.
Get me lost.
Deep into your winding paths.
Pour out of me.
Spit love off my fingertips.
So I can touch things with true love.
Let me be something.
More than anything I want to be your something.
Filled up and dripping with acceptance.
687 · Dec 2014
Ocean floor
JWolfeB Dec 2014
He told me he has hit rock bottom
That he sees this world in a Kaleidoscope of empty liquor bottles
His veins run thick with well whiskey from problems he has yet to talk about
My brother told me he can see the future
Things are clear there
That he will die
It is all facts when it falls off his tongue

I tell him rock bottom is okay
That from here the only direction is toward heaven
I show him what strength is
I ask him to trust me
I speak through tainted lips without the correct vocabulary
So I drink
Searching for answers in my brother rock bottom
Praying for new ways to drown
Knowing we will all die one day
My brother is struggling with alcoholism. How can you help your brother when you yourself are struggling.
685 · Jul 2017
Maybe
JWolfeB Jul 2017
The words filtered in my heart with a slight jolt of unknown

Leaving me awestruck with open heart surgery precision

I wish to know

Once

Just how beautiful we could both be if we dropped expectation for return

If we allowed our love to flow through us as night riders touching each and every fabric of one another

Meet me between now and our forever

Even if forever lasts for just this moment

Wake me with your lampshade heart beat and I will always walk in the light
677 · Mar 2015
Shine (10W)
JWolfeB Mar 2015
Our bodies are lampshades

Dimming our true potential to shine
668 · Mar 2015
Silent film
JWolfeB Mar 2015
We are silent film directors partitioned into different reels of reality. Quietly yelling sign language in the direction of creating something more than ourselves. If silence were love my poetry would walk away without you.
662 · Jun 2014
Float
JWolfeB Jun 2014
Drifting through my mind, resting, dust particles no one notices sitting on the shelf. Observe life through a fuzzy spectrum. Slam your feathered pillow under my falling brain. Cushion this sky dive with your silk hands. Don't conduct this silent choir. Things work fine without your general commands. Just watch. Watch the leaf fall, dew form, clouds cumulate. It happens so naturally. Us. Natural. Pure. Exemplary. This course is self taught. Traveling at a speed of self worth and Discovery. Fumble down your righteousness. We all have dirt under our fingernails. Lets play in the dirt, sand, snow. Get lost in our time zones. Playing the same notes to find a symphony behind your eyes. Lovely is the way you see this world. Come see it. Float like the boat crossing the canal. Taking days to cross a minute. Storms and coves unknown to any. Your arrival is so important. Come rest in the lions mane. Enter this habitat of slips and tangles. Intertwined in me. Be fierce in your passionate subtleties. Float with grace and comfort. Lets float.
655 · Dec 2014
Worthy
JWolfeB Dec 2014
Self-worth holds more value than self-defeat

Stop selling your heart short kid
654 · Jun 2014
You Sir
JWolfeB Jun 2014
I still can't clearly comprehend who my father was. The only way I can find him is by thinking of everything I refuse to be. I still have memories of my father that have never been extremely clear. I guess you could say it's as clear as the muddy glasses I put on every time I want to forget the loss. I lost the man I wanted him to be. A role model, someone to love my mother in every direction you could imagine, I wanted him to be a man. When I think of who you are I can't form solidified answers because to be honest I don't think we've ever met. Name's Jon. We share DNA but this isn't something I take pride in saying. The story maps of our denials are wonderful depictions of why we could never really talk about things. Things we can't fully understand. Like how I would deny things like how bad the weather is, that my tummy is a little to jiggly, or that I honestly can't say no to a good beer. Your denials are slightly different. You have denied leaving two boys for one wonder woman to raise. You still won't tell me you are sorry, because in your eyes it's the world against you and your disposition. You deny eye contact with those around you because we all know your soul is unorthodox and burns if you look into it for too long. You remind me of the inconsiderate ******* who leave their brights on driving down the highway, they leave me ******* and hard to see my future. As I reached deeper into the bucket of something inside me that feels, I realize we have a few similarities. We both don't know hot wot act in public situations. Running has always been our initial response when our hedonic treadmill starts. I don't want to start. So I cut out the pieces of my life that resemble the ***** smell of your presence. I use those moments for encouragement and to find power in the unforgettable.
This poem is the prequel to ""Please forgive me" another poem I wrote from a different perspective.
649 · Sep 2014
Together we are
JWolfeB Sep 2014
Alone lives under your breast plate

inside of you

It lives behind the curtains of us all

Take a deep breath,

now expel the broken air

You now understand,

We are all similar,

We are alive.

We are humans,

With hearts bending bones each and everyday.

With these hearts,

we love the best we know how.
645 · Nov 2014
We were made
JWolfeB Nov 2014
We are the perfect storm
Electrifying in our tidal wave
Made of parts and wholes
Parts of lighting
Whole hemispheres
Molecules split in half
In the eye of god himself
We tumbled natural disaster
645 · Jan 2015
Island
JWolfeB Jan 2015
Imagine her hands on your heart
Tapping Morse code into vertical velvet walls
Hieroglyphs I am still decoding, present

My heart is better known as an island
A place for the shipwrecked
Beautiful in its desperation

Her presence an S.O.S. in sand
I am trying everything I can
To let her save me
642 · Aug 2014
Distant
JWolfeB Aug 2014
The heart will follow

As I am swallowed

Into a new culture

Of alone

A place of far away

Unsure if I can stay

Confort my inners

with something more

Than surgical knives

And let me impact lives

Teach me to teach

I want to hand out and reach

For my dream of

Being more than myself
I am teaching in a small village in Alaska and have started writing about how I am feeling being up here in a village of 400 people.
637 · Jan 2015
Foundry
JWolfeB Jan 2015
I want to orchestrate a collage of every mistake
Of all the broken bones of my past
The gnarled roots I grew incorrectly
Twisted metal of permanent choices

Music will remind me to stay present
Bones will rattle with a stronger future
My roots will show of perseverance
Metal a foundry of choices I refuse to rebuild
Learning from the mistakes of my past. I refuse to make the same mistake twice. Constantly working on a better version of myself.
633 · Jun 2014
Been there
JWolfeB Jun 2014
I was there.
Never left.
Aware.
Consciously waiting.
Waiting for that break in a second. The kind of break you feel when you see a window obliterate into a thousand images of its former self. The break you see in a bad romantic comedy.
That moment.
I was there.
Standing firmly.
Chest out.
Arms open.
I've desired under my skin for decades to be wanted. For someone to pick me off the top shelf. Back left. Tucked behind the bandages. Hoping to be picked to cover up someone else's mistakes.
632 · Sep 2015
Whisper
JWolfeB Sep 2015
You are tonight's breeze
The only thing worth inhaling
630 · Feb 2015
Light
JWolfeB Feb 2015
Come to me brightly darling
With your sunshine steps
Rainbow brilliant illumination
I'm in need of your spot light hands
A guidance through the dark
My story book night light
Fire up this campfire heart
Ignite my aorta spark plug
Darling let me walk into your light
Drenching me in purity
627 · Jun 2014
Please forgive me
JWolfeB Jun 2014
Please forgive me

Hello there, looks like were here again, playing the same instrument, with the same breathe.... Awkward if you think about it considering I have not talked to you in a couple years. I know I wrote the last poem in complete hate, disgust, and well to be honest I really just don't enjoy your existence on the dirt we share. I don't share well with the selfish. But I kind of have some empathy for you. I feel for the unfortunate disposition placed upon your life. Your parents ****** more than a shop vac that was built to **** down unholy spirits. This could be something to learn from because we can't call the ghost busters every time the air gets *****. I want to clear the air between us. What I wanted to tell say to the man who donated ***** to my mother, hung around a few years to long and stained the life of a new white tee shirt, is thank you. Thank you for my showing up to any of my sports events, I know you would have enjoyed them too much. Thank you for never staying in my life more than a year, my eyes can only handle looking at your deflated life for so long. I really want to thank you for leaving when I was 3 years old, not for leaving me and my brother alone, we always had her, thank you sir for dropping my mother like a faulty Walkman with no batteries, she is an iPod with an unparalleled playlist that you never got to hear. Thank you for not listening to the way she loved my brother and I, she spoke soliloquies with a harp in her throat, piano keys for teeth and a heart made out of everything she picked up after you left. So thank you for not being selfish and letting us have her all to ourselves. I'm sorry I have hated you for so long, it just took a while for my eyes to adjust in the dark, then I realized I was in the shade. Thank you for your genes. I can drink like a fish, I'm balding at twenty two, and my second toe is longer than my big toe. Now I'm not complaining one bit, because those are the same genes that gave me this heart that wakes up and feels everyday the earth rotates, the ability to smile from ear to ear painting a canvas full of alright teeth, and last but not least you gave me the genes to forgive you. So thank you Jack Binschus, in my eyes, you are not that bad of a guy. yes, maybe you are selfish, addicted to any substance that will wet your beak, and have tunnel vision in a broken mirror showing nothing but images of you. I will never call you father, or dad, or tell you I love you, but I will tell you that the pallet in my chest that has painted pictures of hate against your everything is clean. I'm over you. We can move on, you can now live in peace not ever knowing that I forgive you.
This is the sequel to the poem "You Sir". Written about my father form a different mind set.
626 · Jul 2014
Parts of my speech
JWolfeB Jul 2014
In elementary school you learn about the importance of the 8 parts of speech. That with these essential bits and pieces of the English language you can grammatically slay dragons, build empires upon prepositional phrases, and verbally split wigs with hammering conjunctions.

Spitting flexible adjectives in general directions with a chance that someone might listen. I wish you could still listen.  I want to tell you. Verbalizing verbs with vicious vernacular. I shipped it. Wrecked it. Mauled it.

I want to fix it. I can't. I'm waiting. For the day I can hug you again. To apologize for the lack of complete. In life you complete stuff. Like when your mother tells you that you can't quit clarinet in the 5th grade, because once you start something, you finish. We never finished.

You left before we could complete. I didn't say goodbye or even hello. I guess I could blame it on pronouns. I could say well she didn't let me know, he was lost in his words. We didn't want to intrude on the walls they built with words that I never spoke. But without them I would be so much better off.

Or That we need to talk. We need to figure my **** out because some days this iceberg set of lungs I have, only melt when I don't need then to. So pass through me. Across the tremendous skin across my body in order for me to feel again.

The skin is tucked under this hard shell I learned to build after being poked all too often. Poked with things like goodbyes or when I can't tell time on analog clocks. Numbers are hard to compute when all I see is you. I want to quickly get over the slow process of slickly sliding into a hole I'll never figure out.

I'm in a directional pull towards who knows where with nothing but my brain space. We all know how dangerous things get in there. Like that time, when I was 7, I was convinced you were kidnapped by the bandit in my dream. Sleeping is hard these days.
625 · Apr 2015
Scar tissue
JWolfeB Apr 2015
Without the scar that you left me
I would have never learned that
Everything is going to be okay
623 · Jun 2014
Regrettable
JWolfeB Jun 2014
I went rummaging through my mistakes tucked under my bed behind the closet. I have skeletons sleeping back there that don't exist in the future.

When I opened my heart to grab onto my spinal cord and snap myself out of it I found mirrors of my childhood girlfriends, a picture of the time I went to McDonald and got the chicken nuggets when I was four, and a bucket hat that my mother never should have bought me.

These were things I wish never happen. Hannah, she cracked my femur with the pressure of a goodbye laid across the never happen. We were 1822 days old and going on stronger than ever.

It was here that I learned that I love my stuffed animals too hard, because I often wear them down from all the attention smothering their jugulars and stitching my loneliness into their knee caps. We were. There is a storage space so wide open and full of grace waiting for a  soft hand to lift its spirits, i need a drink.

It stands two feet tall in a colony of insecurities so intricately woven into patterns of bad ideas that i don't think it ever had a chance. I've never been good at telling the difference between the color of the floor board and the bleeding pattern of the ceiling.

And I could never fully grasp the reason why ***** packs are not only socially looked down upon but completely misunderstood. Efficiently storing every secret at waste level.

I have a lot of regrets. I'm not proud of most of them. But from them I was drunkenly spit into my present form. And from here I will always wear ***** packs.
620 · Dec 2014
Head up
JWolfeB Dec 2014
Keep your head up
And your heart below





Because if your heart is above your head for too long
The blood might rush to it and you might die
science and humor
everything is not tragic all the time
611 · Jan 2015
Kivalina
JWolfeB Jan 2015
Teach them about the backbone your culture has bolstered through the permafrost
Tell them stories of Moby ****
The tale they never took the time to write

Inscribe your language on the ice
Let the global warming melt your dependance
And drown the cities who refuse to believe you
A warning sign of broken promises by the government

An island not aloud on American soil
Your culture is its own nation
The lives here will rise against the sloth in your veins
Inupaiq will build on new waters, ready for the storm
A village that is falling into the ocean due to global warming. And I just so happen to live there. A crazy phenomena effecting a native Eskimo culture placed on the island Kivalina AK
609 · Jan 2015
Today felt, ordinary
JWolfeB Jan 2015
The coffee dripping down my throat
Was okay
Lights seemed obnoxiously interrupting
Which was fine
Sound reached me at an average speed
I guess better than being deaf
My blood didn't get enough sleep
Eyes a little timid of objectionable presence
I was a teacher today
Seen better days
But it was honestly
Okay
Average found me accepting
Warm embrace of spinal taps
Laying my head on my pillow
Was decent
I will find tomorrow in its entirety
Willing to exist in awkward small talk
During bad weather
Moderately mumbling about ordinary things
Like today
I feel people often want to feel extraordinary or tragic, but some days fall somewhere in-between.
607 · Nov 2015
present
JWolfeB Nov 2015
Since when did darkness
Become my only light
603 · Jun 2014
Pumping fluids
JWolfeB Jun 2014
Desolate spaces filled with stories, love, despair. Lives lived through tubes and screaming machines. Channels comforting the wave of medicine crashing into veins. Flooding sloppy hopelessness into the oxygen we call life. It's okay dear it's only temporary.

So I hold the hand of strength. Walk me through this town of pain. Breathe into me, grab me by the bootstraps. Pile my issues into a storage room. Puffed up chest acting bigger than the sickness. A kick to the lungs left deflated birthday balloon. Pump me full of it, I'll take the bullet

Common sense doesn't apply here. Making words out of these hieroglyphics. The writing on these walls is in sharpie. Struggled effort blown into the wind. Experience life with me. Here. Now. Forever.

Take this place out of your blood pumping heart. You belong elsewhere. Somewhere of comfort and peace. A day of content together pure. So I'll take you away. Away to that place. To elated smiles, moving hearts, unfiltered bliss. I love the way strength radiates bodies. Flex one more time for the cameras. This show will play on repeat
602 · Jan 2015
Today
JWolfeB Jan 2015
Some days are better than others
Any day is better than none
600 · Nov 2014
Poetry
JWolfeB Nov 2014
Poetry holds me hostage
Whispers sweet nothings in my ear
Digs its nails into my back
Melts love into my mind

The sun reminds me of this computer screen
and I turn to find my bed empty
exhausted
Without any more words
JWolfeB Oct 2015
This breathe and these lungs
Have been used to preach subjects I fully can't understand
Like existence, cats, and why yesterday feels like today
So I told a story about you
It reminded me of your nails
And the memories they held
Each time I try to write about you
my arthritis flares up
My lungs cringe
And my mind turns static
They say there are 5 steps of grieving
What about the 6th step?
The times where your body stops working
They never mentioned the part
Where you find her spirit in everything
The clouds began to shine your radiance
The wind smells like you
Tomorrow feels almost like home
We will never get the day you left back
I have been spending each moment
Elaborately searching for you everywhere
And I have found
You never left
My heart still speaks of your beauty
My laughter a sliver
These eyes glistening
To show the elation
You exhaled into my life
So don't let this be a poem about you
I am still unsure what that would look like
But for now, I wanted to say
I love you
586 · Mar 2015
Left and leaving
JWolfeB Mar 2015
I'm left here
Leaving
Knowing nothing more than moments
Of mediocre shadowed by exceptional

Searching the synaptic spaces
Where perfection finds home

Living in chaotic chemistry
With thoughts of your flawless presence

I am leaving you here now
Imagining a legacy
Discovered by failures and unreal expectations
The foundation we were built on
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