I.**
I have spent far too many nights with my head in my hands,
Shallow breaths in and out,
Shaking and choking on the sharp threat of tears.

There’s a hole in my chest that aches with each breath;
It expands and expands more and more,
Threatens to tear me whole.

Maybe if the stars shined a little brighter I’d find hope in that small light.
Maybe if the moon were closer I’d feel better about being under it.

II.
I feel empty and inadequate.
I feel weak, I feel small.
I feel like I’ve lost myself.

It comes in waves every now and then.
The sudden wash of a ripping tide crashing onto shore -
into the hollows of my bones and crashing
with a force that chills my entire body.

It’s not welcome here but it keeps breaking down the door.

I have tried padlocks and I have tried iron and steel,
but the water creeps in through the cracks without fail,
and it’s not long before I drown.

You can't die from a broken heart
Because He left
and
I'm still breathing.
He left
and
my heart is still beating.

(a.d)

endless
summer
trance of the cool breeze
careless
summer
dance of the  palm trees
you can
catch us
singing
beside
bonfires
or maybe
  surfing
the late
sunset
whilst
drinking
homemade
cocktails and listening
to the whistles of purple orchids
you can meet us by the golden shore
on sands that can't wait to get into your
toes and tell old stories about heroes
and  beautiful  women of  the land
who had hips that could rock the
molten lava out of mauna kea
you can enjoy the moment with us
leave your  worries and  your cameras
and lose yourself to the gentle swing of your
hammock and to the wishful kissing of the ocean
and to  the warm  blackness  that sings you to
sleep  to good vibrations that radiate out of
the strumming of my thumb that lullabies
the little brown child i carry in my arms
who the world named ukulele