I'm stuck chasing ghosts of people i used to know

Demons attacking,
can't quite un pack it -
This package, i'm strapped in
Focus on the racket just ta
make it though with my baggage
i been slackin, stackin massive
but she don't want that action
sadly no one wants your sappy
so if you aint makin happy
if she aint stayin laughing
she'll find another baddy
and move on rather gladly
and i know it hurts deep down
she was the one to turn your life around
tears, keep em hid, clown
don't lose your happy
what's lost aint always found

Love is not a game
And i'm certainly not winning
I chase your piece around our board
In this game you're not even playing

She touched my lips
With her nostalgic kiss
Then blamed the alcohol
When morning hit

Don't tease me
Don't play me
I'm dying inside

Don't please me
Don't save me
There's not enough time

Whenever you come around
My life turns upside down
I'm tired of loving you
Please let me down

I want to find a day
where memories don't fade away
where this moment lasts forever
and the sun rise becomes a never
drunken dancing playing pool
moon shining and you're lookin cool
with your 90's jacket open showin
Skin is glowin toastin' boastin
bout being forever young
broke and dumb tired of
feeling so numb you
******* alive
the way you kiss me
makes me miss the
days of witch we
never knew we'd be rememiscing
back when after school naps
was our favorite thing to do
it's hard when i'm depressed
but a little less when
I'm depressed with you
said you love me
And i know it's true
cause what you don't show
in your eyes it shines right through
and i got that rock, it took
all the change in my pocket, look
i don't mean to take it back to there
back to that day with the teddy bear
and all of our pets that i took care
not because i wanted to
but because they made you happy
in a time when you were scared
but now i'm sitting all alone
writing letters in my phone
looking back and taking notes
i'm not to sure what helps
but i know this ain't the antidote

Still i lay, thinking, hoping,
wishing that you would stay
but unfortunatly tomarrow comes
and i'll get lost in the day
then in our bed, all alone, i lay
And think back to a time
where everything felt so safe

Pluck the strings on my dandelion guitar
Like fingers don't get sore
And petals don't run out
Sing solemn songs of my lightning in a bottle
I pretend forever never ends
Somehow you found the finish
I will race until I die
Never escaping my runner's high

I'm going mad again
It's getting bad again
It's the past again.
Feelin trapped in my own skin.

Little brother if you're listenin
i don't want to talk about it
i don't want to mention
i wish i could go back to when
we were kids again and
if i could change the future
lord knows that i would do it
cause i'm tired of dumb and stupid
so many mistakes im feelin useless
i'm suppossed to be the bigger man
i'm suppossed to lead the way
i'm suppossed to have the plan
but there's things i can't explain
deep inside of me there's a pain
and it's not an excuse i'm just sayin
i really hope you understand
cause it's consumin me
so caught up on who i used to be
drownin all my demons
that plan was straight stupidity
and i know it took a toll,
i know i playd a roll
in your choices, your decision, and as i'm gettin old
i love you more than anything
I really hope you know
i'd give the world to clear those memories
take em right out of your skull
cause we got the same mother
but i don't feel like im your brother
i never did got to know just
how our parents told ya
that i'm movin out the house,
cause rehabilitation kicked me out
and they didn't know quite what to do
but i can't keep on lettin loose
they can't let me **** up my life,
not while i'm under their roof
and i can no longer make excuse'
startin to understand the truth
one thing i never thought about
was how i was affectin you
See i can take the liver damage
my brain can take the abuse
my stomach can throw up but
i only got one chance with you
and in a classic ****** fashion
that one chance i know i blew
i know that you forgive me
but that's not what i'm askin
a part of me wants to believe
that this is actually happenin
and i can turn the clock back
restart and make it not sad
and teach you how to be a man
cause our father never can
and i know it's not his fault,
he aint had a father himself,
there's just so much time lost
that's why everyone calls me josh
back then i had a longer name
and thats all i think about when they say
joshua, or joshie, or mention abbey place
where we grew up together
shared a room
and i taught myself to shave
those were the good years,
with blue pool,
at the blue house,
at a small school,
back before i was a fool,
back before i knew what love was,
but lord knows i loved you
lord knows i still do
i'm sorry