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Joshua Phelps Jan 31
another day
into the next

nothing changes
except the test

same sun,
rain, and
clouds

same ****
life, same ****
town.

medicated,
and can't make
sense of self

the words in my
head blur
again

and i'm right
back to the

same **** life,
same **** high

stuck in the middle,
with no one to save me
this time.
Joshua Phelps Jan 27
I don't want to die,
Don't want to say goodbye

But sadness destroyed
my confidence and now

I'm back down hiding
everything deep inside.

How can I go on?

When I don't want
to live, don't want
to try

When everything around me
has turned into one big
lie.

Do I exist just
to get torn
and drug down
under?

Is my life just
one chaotic thunder,

striking every last
chance down before I can
grasp it,

or is it my new normal,
and I haven't accepted it
yet?
Joshua Phelps Jan 18
Gimme a moment to breathe,
I can’t take it anymore.

Gimme some space,
so I can break down
these walls.

Tried to fake it,
and tell myself
I’m over it,

But you come back
when the rain’s pouring,
ah-hah.

I’m back in the corner,
Once again with

No reprieve,
no space to breathe,
and nowhere to go,

Just tragic and lost,
without you.

Your memories continue
to haunt me and

Remind me of
what we used to be.

Chaotic breakdowns,
screaming at the void,

I wish you would listen,
listen closely this time,
to me.

All I want is to be loved,
I’m not trying to hide.

This isn’t a vague poem,
I wouldn’t lie to you,

I’m just a tortured soul
writing words until
my heart stops bleeding.

I’m forever lost,
Forever lost without you.

So gimme a moment
to breathe

I can’t take it anymore.

This push-and-pull
tug of emotions,
almost like clockwork.

Nothing can compare,
It’s far worse.

Gimme a moment
to breathe,

This torture
is not worth the cause
to me.
Joshua Phelps Jan 13
Close your eyes,
Pray for better days
ahead

Reach out, rise
above, and touch
the clouds.

Just know
You’re made for
So much more

Know your worth,
Know you’re destined
for something greater.

Don’t let the past
Define and tear you
to threads.

You can choose to
let it consume you

Or move forward
and leave behind
the hurt.

Put your best foot
forward, and cross
those bridges

Because this is
only a setback.

Open your eyes,
This is your time,
Your time to shine.

Take the power
fight back, and rise
above this.
Joshua Phelps Jan 11
Tired of feeling
so down and sick

Tired of having no
hope,

Time has done nothing
but break my soul

For once,
I’d like to take
control.

Spent the past year,
Spiraling down and falling
flat on my face

Reliving the past,
Life in disarray.

It’s time I
pick myself up
and figure out

How to conquer
My life and shake
this doubt.
I spent my life,
Dancing around
Tragedy.

Tried to claw
My way back
to the surface,

But the light
Never showed
itself today.

I wake from
My dreams,

With a heavy feeling,
Haunting me

Heart breaking,
And a deep sadness,
That left the very core
Of me frozen with the reality

A stark realization
That love was
never meant to be.

Miserable as can be,
I accept some things
never change,

But I can’t will it away.

Tragedy is here to stay.
a melancholic soul that realizes an old love can't be re-kindled. i've got to move on.
Joshua Phelps Dec 2023
Waking up lonely,
Wanting somebody.

Broken from the past,
And a melancholic mind,
That leaves me longing.

I just want to call someone
My one and only,

Instead, I’m haunted
by memories that are
now long gone,

And I’m back to
feeling lost
and empty.
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