The cold air
sends shivers
down my spine

The ghost of
yesterday,

Haunting me
again.

Every day passing,
feels like torture,

And I don’t know
what to do.

Moving on should
be easy, but

It’s hard to see
My life without you.

I know
Nothing last forever,

And it’s hard to sever
the ties of the past,

When I’m still not
over you.

God knows I've tried
to give my all.

All I wanted was to
find love, but every
brush with reality

turned into a shattered
dream.

I ask myself why
do I even try,

When I end up
searching for love,

I just get myself
hurt every time.

I keep wondering why
I even try at all.

I remember the pain
Of heartbreak under
My sleeve,

a year of turmoil,
that leaves me
wondering

If I will find love
at all.

There were lessons
I have learned, and

God knows I've tried
to give my all.

All I can say is:

I'm trying my best to
stay strong.

I was looking for
emotion,

But all I got
was something
broken.

I tried to let
my heart open,

But I had to close it,

Before it got ripped
From my soul.

I mistakened
Vulnerability for love,

Thinking I would find
devotion.

Instead, I found myself
lost again,

Drowning
in the deep blue ocean.

Like a one-night stand,
I knew it wasn’t going
to last forever,

I thought there was
something there,

But I was looking
in the wrong place,
at the wrong time.

And that
was when
I realized,

I was never
going to be

together with you.

Before we even met,
I wondered if it was

Wise to make the jump
And be led
On and fall in love,

When all that was
On the table was
Lust, entangled

With words that
Made me believe
you wanted more.

I tried my best
To open these
Doors,

And
Make the best
Out of something

Because you didn’t
Want more.

I tried to give
Myself every reason

To not believe
In love again

And now I’m certain
It’ll be awhile,

Because I’d rather
Be lonely than

To have my heart
Led on and broken
With you.

Living life on
autopilot,

Wishing I wasn’t
Going insane.

Look around me
And everything

Stays the same.

The neuropathways
In my brain

Have the wires
Crossed and
There’s

Messages that
Always change.

I’m left to
Figure it out
On my own,

Miscommunications and
Exiled from a
Place I used to call home.

I just don’t get why,
I keep trying to change,

But life pulls me to
The other side

To a place where
the stars never
had a chance to
shine.

making my way past
the hurt and the skeleton
remains,

desperately wanting to
let go of this pain.

watching the sun
rise as the ghost
hide in the shadows,

reappear at dusk,
haunting me again.

I know that heartbreak
is just another memory,

and I’m trying not to
give up now.

I want someone to give
me a chance, and finally

break free from this chain,
that I can’t free myself from.

Lately, I feel
Out of it these
Days

Life seems to
Drag me down
And I know

In the end,
I’ll be fine.

I remember those
Winter days,

Nearly ten years ago,
When we met in a haze.

Lust turned to love,
And over the years,
we burned out,

Just like the flickering of
The flames in a silent film,

Never making a sound.

Now I live with
The memories,
That plague my mind,

Playing track-by-track,
Just like a CD, singing

The good and the bad times.

I look around
The corner

Between St. Louis
And the town that
I live in,

Remembering how I
Used to drive past

The city lights,
Months after the crash.

I remember how it
Haunted me,
Every single time.

Now I’m stuck
In an endless cycle,
Far from fine.

It seems life
Likes to drag
me down,

Just like the
Memories that plague
My mind.

I’m doing everything
I can to be more than
Fine.