Trust me
Because I know the feeling of pain
Of betrayal

Trust me
Because I know how to feels to be lost
With no where to run

Trust me
Because I know how it feels
To want the pain to stop

Trust me
Because I know how hard it is to find someone to trust

I trust that you feel it in this moment
But I don't trust you'll always feel that way
That's how I was hurt before
Counting on every word he'd say

I remember the way
the alcohol
lubricated our words to each other
and she told me those three
poisonous words:
"I love you"
Except she added
my name to the end
to make sure I knew
how important it was.
"You're the only
person I've said that to,"
She told me that night
as we parted ways

The next day she told
me that it didn't count
and that she was being
dramatic
and I remained in place
amongst those
who function better
as shadows,
withering under her
light,
hoping to hear the
meaningless words
again.

"I love you,"

I said.

He replied,

"Good night."

That night

I knew

what love was for me

was a dream to him

I'm lost inside this emptiness,
No escape, I'm lost and its lonely.
Everything is wrong and broken.
I have nothing left to hold onto anymore.
The light, the passion fades to black.
I'm done with making everyone's life hell.
There's nothing left worth holding onto.

my world is messy
I can never be still
this feeling
that feeling
I never feel calm

I can be happy
Joyous
Funny
Laughing
and then
I can be sad
miserable
melancholy
serious

it's all a giant mess
and I can't seem
to gain control
and the only emotion
that's never changed
is the one of
love
and
suicide.

funny how even those are
complete
opposites.

-r.y.s

because a sad suicidal is stereotypical
acting happy is hypocritical
hanging in there is too biblical
ending one's life is cynical
waiting for a voice so lyrical
that'll help this life that's so minimal
i can't even be egotistical
because i'm just a lowly, foolish individual
a happy suicidal