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I cry because
I know I am lost
and all alone in
the world, my tears
are not emerald
blue or silky skies but
endless rivers of
trailing ink and
bitter blood because
the world filled me
with regret and remorse
stripped down my
pride and my name
my self esteem and
my love shredded
and hope for a
brighter day no more,
but sometimes I
can't help but smile
let loose a trail of
laughter slip from
my lips and let
the corners of my
eyes wrinkle with delight
because I can't help
but want to be happy
I just want to let
those in the world
know, do not mistake
any form of happiness
that escape from me
as true contentedness
or well being because
there is no way to live
life without a smile,
but there is a way
to live life smiling
amidst the eternal tears.
"This will be the
first and last day I love you."
She reached over
and kissed him with
such desperation and passion-
He could taste her tears
as their lips locked
for the first and
only time.
After what felt like an eternity,
she stepped away,
grabbed her suitcase,
and left without
another
word.
She knew it was for the best for both of them.
My mind is cut, divided
Into pieces, it hurts so much.
Daily pills are borderline
Keeping me here, above the ground.

"Worthless, no one wants you here."
"You've ******* up again, you're worthless."
"You have failed again, worthless."
My mind screams insecurities.

It's like they gave me a name.
It makes it hard to be better,
Makes it hard to keep going.
An overdose away from freedom.
Is falling out of love
the same as falling in?
no, right?
I always longed for you
For you gave me rest from the busy world Assured me with safety and security
   Embraced me with warmth and comfort Caressed me with such gentle hands  
And whispered loving words.
Having you...
Is a good and a sweet dream.

But that was what I thought.
For after you gave me all the love,
And after I let my guard down
You finally showed your other self.
  
So, I started to avoid you.
For you gave me distress and misery      
Tormented me with everything I feared
Strained me with horror and fear
Choked me with your ice cold hands
Told me dreadful and ghastly things
Having you...
Is a bad and bitter nightmare.

Knowing the other side of you
Made me woke up to reality.
You inflicted me with so much pain
So much fear that I felt my heart drumming against my chest.
So much that I tremble in remembering.
So, I left you.

I never thought that I could be scared,
Of you, that I liked
Of you that I longed for
I never thought that I'd be afraid,
Afraid of falling again,
               
           Falling...
                                          ­        ...asleep
July 20, 2016
When nightmares inspires you to write a poem. Oh well.
why
Love sprouted and grew
Never wanted nor watered
Why do I love you?
I dunno what's gotten into me
end
Our love is a story
But all stories end
Can't we have a sequel?
 Sep 2016 Joseph Floreta
Rachel
"You are beautiful "
"I love your smile"
"I love you"

Who couldn't love you?, they ask. I would do everything for you, they say.

I'll tell you whats wrong with me, I'm a woman and i'm complicated with my every decision, thought, and argument. Do you realize how patient and honest my partner has to be?

To find the man who can handle all of MY flaws was a very hard task and sometimes even though i have found him, my heart and brain fight every day over if i have made the right move..if i have made the right decision.

I literally have to remind myself on the daily how blessed i truly am. I am learning how to appreciate my life. How to appreciate my love. How to appreciate myself..
Hardest part is waking up each day and telling myself, "I love you. I love your smile. You are so beautiful who couldn't love you?"

I fight for love. My love.
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