Trying to free myself from the anguished cave that I have eroded in my heart with my manic tides! Like a cavern that opens low, and fills high, I am drowning. Whatever delves to see the mystic and secretive dark is trapped and subject to the shadows and beasts that rise from the depths. Breaking it down, changing the tides, finding escapes, closing the gaps, accepting my fate so that the pain doesn't find you, doesn't **** you in like Old Sow, and spit you out with the hurricane, gasping for life and crazy with need. We both disappear as I dive to hide my shame of the dwellers in the dark, and the air grows stale in my great and hollow chambers, the ones I wore into my heart. No wonder your mind turns dark my love, no wonder your life spirals away as you fight for air, or pound on my shell, again to take the wonders I hide inside with the demons and the lies. One day I will learn to share the lights and shiny and not drown you in the dark, one day I will surface to the world you know and live among men, an equal, a love worth knowing. But now all I can offer you again is the chance to see and hope you survive, hope your lungs hold out and your hearts doesn't shrivel in despair. That your flesh remain unscathed by the claws and rocks, that the dark doesn't claim your eyes, and that you remember the lights and shiny inside as you realize the monster beneath the gold and blue, discover the darkness behind the quiet calm and sandy warmth. Hope you realize your mistake before it’s too late and the tide comes rolling in, with all the angst and irk of these words and more.
You are the one who found a back way in, not through the sandy shore near the angst and fear, but from beside, winding around the chaotic and difficult cerebral and temporal to the embrace within, still tempered by flash floods and the stray demon, but so far from the trap that has consumed and corrupted. Still the tides rise, and the way out is winding, but you have found my heart and all that is liken to you, the beautiful and free, the joyous and concerned, the warped and balanced, the organic and growing, it all has found your sight beyond the miraculous odds, and creeping shadows, you have found what gems, what treasures were to be had, and your joy is stirring to behold, but the stirring has awoken a fire within, a rumble of danger and dread rolls through the drowned caverns into the filling ones, and echoes of pain unworthy howl unheard beneath the waves that crash inside. I will not see you drowned and entrapped, mind boiling away in my manic frustrating corridors, among the pieces left behind of the fled and failed before you. I will not see my demons have you. I would shelter you from any storm the world can throw at you, but I cannot save you from myself.