He had told me that my smile
Was warm enough
To melt the ice caps of Antarctica.
And so when he left me,
I bought a plane ticket
And as I stood before that colossal giant
Of an ice cube,
I smiled.

And nothing happened.

You are a mystery,
Twisted into blue veins
And around my left ring finger.
I am solemn,
An undisturbed rambling
From your selfish heart.

We crashed into this world
Punching and Kicking,
A promise and a fortune clenched hard
Between our teeth.
I've been a sinner and a beast before,
A lost meaning in a world full of lies
And policy haters,
A ****** for experience
With a blood lust for love and life.
I've never been one
To try new things
But I've found comfort in those
You've brought to me.
Within all the lies and misfortune,
The world seems brighter through your eyes
And I thank god every day I awaken
That there are people like you alive.

I've wanted to read a happy book
For quite some time now
But every time I crack the spine
Of a book with a grin escalating steadily,
I find that the stories that make me happy
Are the same ones that destroy my friends.

And I've wanted to write a happy poem
For just as long
But my hand always stalls.
No one wants to read about love and tenderness
When they're suffocating in their own right.

I've got a list of songs
About how this started,
Ranging back a month or two.
And when I give them all a listen
In a straight line,
I can't help but think of you.
You'll hit your friend
And go to hell
If it won't cost you a dime.
You'll wish me well
And drink to me
But I can't make you mine.
I'm tired of settling
For milquetoast men who cause me pain.
Every time he looks at me,
I see you staring back in vain.
He only wants to **** me
And maybe **** me up.
And I'm convinced he's only human
When ***** fills his cup.
And in spite of all the danger,
I'm gonna stick around.
Even if that ******* on his bike starts
To weigh me down.
Cause I can't turn back now
And I can't change the past.
And I can't make sure that that last relapse
Will surely be your last.
But I'll stay with you
And bargain through
Til this day fall south.
And I'll lend my words
And fight with you until my teeth hurt my mouth.
What's on my mind is
I can do better
And I can find a guy
Who won't spend his time wandering around,
Trying to get a free ride.
They let you off easy,
But I can't do the same.
So *******, honey,
I'm sick and tired of playing games.
Like Lennon said,
we're playing mind games
And you make me feel that I'd be better off dead.
Twist my pain
And make it your own
And I'll do the same.
But the outcome for both of us is clearly the same.
We're both headed for destruction
But you will follow through.
It's gonna happen some day but between he two of us,
I would rather it be you.

I guess I'm just going to have to hide under my desk
Because every word, every second with you is like a
Nuclear explosion in my eyes.
They taught me to cover my face and neck
But not my heart
From evil weapons like you.
Burn another cigarette hole
Through my lungs
And hang me up to dry.
I can let you destroy everything
Cause I know you'll feel better
And destroying is easier than building
In a world where
I can't have anything nice and remarkable.
I'm dying alone in a classroom
Full of kids that understand
Until words like "alcoholic" come into play.
I know they care
But I know they don't.
Not enough to try to aid
In my recovery from these scars.
I've been called a *****
Because I like my friends as men
But that's simply because they seem to understand
A lot better than these ***** faced hoes I get
To try to solve my problems.
They sit in front of desks and ask me if I've done bad
And I can't help but to say "yes"
Even though I've done all I can.
I'm going to sink into oblivion
As I watch the lights flash and take over my thinking.
Anything is better than thinking
At this point.

You are going to find yourself
Hating everyone.

And it should come as no surprise
That one day you'll pick up smoking
Because that fat ***** you fell for
Thought you looked **** doing it.

Men will crave your lips
Not for kisses but for *******
And you will have to battle them
On every insistence.

You will sleep with a teddy bear,
Human-sized
Well into adulthood
Because there will be nights
That you are so disconnected from the world
That you feel as though you are floating.

You will be sneered at
By mental hospital nurses
At the age of sixteen
As you visit your boyfriend
For your first date
In Good Samaritan hospital.
They will see your youth
And rage inside.
You will waste yourself.
You will die and redeem
Within yourself.

You will fall in love
With a man much older than you
And suddenly
Thirty won't seem
So old at all.
Thirty will seem
Like a world your old soul
Could get lost in.
And you will.
And it will be wonderful.

You will become paranoid.
Walking to church at midnight
With the love of your life,
You will constantly
Be looking over your shoulder.

You will forever
Be looking over your shoulder.

This will become
A necessary hobby.

You will tear down your Beatles posters
And replace them with Wes Anderson ones
Shamelessly.

You will come to a point
Where you hate yourself
In a most incomprehensible way
But you will write a poem
And you will be paid for it
And you will pay your cell phone bill with the money
And you will be successful.

You will have your escape plan
But you will never use it.

You will never need to.
His charm and his wit
And the way his eyes sparkle when he sees you
Will keep you rooted
Even when you are ready
To book it.

You'll be subpoenaed
And you will hate it
And ***** over it
And you will have to stand trial
But life is a trial
And you will win.