We buried them two months ago and watered the seeds with our tears.
Today, the nature witnessed a bud growing as the sky got all cleared.

today in the market of the brutal and tyrant
where people decide to play God
a life was lost to a hospital fees
humanity died
a father cried
it was just a matter of
two hundred and twenty rupees.

It's almost 2 at night and here I am again.
Sleepless and empty.
No bottle is full enough to let me drown in itself.
No pill is effective enough to let me lose myself to it.
No needle is sharp enough to enter this cold ****.

It's almost 2 at night and here I am again.
Tired and alone.
No memory is sweet enough to give me solace.
No words are compelling enough to heal my wounds.
No friend is close enough to understand my pain.

It's almost 2 at night and here I am again.
Done and gone.

She had a chaotic mind
yet
he found peace in her.

No one will ever know our tale
Except us
and the demons of 3 A.M.

They compared her with the mighty things
Like a volcano wanting to erupt or a delicate glass vase
Little did they know that she was just dreaming of escaping
Somewhere far away, somewhere to a better place.

Sometimes you have to take
a sip from the bowl
of sins
just to know **
bitter it tastes.

And I found My God in the words I wrote.

It was like getting a second chance to live
But I chose to face death again.
I guess that was my addiction.

They ask me,
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I look around and say,
"Anything but these who call themselves adults."

They met after years.
He was alone, smoking a cigarette while she was with another man.

"Why are you with him?", he asked her with a cracking voice.
She looked down at her feet and said,
"Because he never cared enough to explore my dark side."

You don't limit your life to social media.
In reality, social media limits you to your life.
A selfie with this and a selfie with that.
Your life is race for comments and likes.
Instead of having a personality worth praising
You are now judged based on your social media profiles.

Status update: I wish I could visit Paris some day.
In Paris you're like, "Where can I get signals for wifi?"

Your achievements are unlocking new levels of Candy Crush
Is that the legacy you'll leave behind?
As if all these achievements will benefit you  
to unlock the doors of heaven when you'll die.
Your 940 friends won't be able to help you
by sending a booster or an extra life.

Relationship Status: Happily married.
Happy and married until the moment you both go offline.

You buy everything from behind the screen
Error 404: Cannot buy love and time.
It's a complicated maze that you won't accept
Even when they themselves call it a website.
You don't limit your life to social media.
In reality, social media limits you to your life.

The darkness had took over the land
And people were forced to hide
The dark lords remained the same
Just changed their masks from time to time.
They brainwashed the innocent ones
Injected them with their lies.
Maybe that's why no one noticed
That the black color was not the real light.

In that darkness, a flame was born
Who was different from the blinds
He broke from the chains of slavery,
Ignited a green and red fire.
He stood against the dark lords
For his land, he dedicated his life.
Today the people have woken up
and every one of them is ready to fight.

He has an ache to be something,
a fire inside him that's burning.
He's struggling for the unknown.
He sees no future, he sees no hope.
Still he's struggling for an undefined goal.
And it may sound stupid and seem vain
but trust me when I tell you that he's going to make it.
Someday, maybe not today.
But someday he'll be known by his name;
the guy who never gave up,
a guy who earned it.
A guy who did it even when he turned blind.
A guy who surpassed everything with a smile.

He's struggling
and he'll emerge as the first ray of light
that sends away the darkness
giving the little bud a new life.

The chirping birds welcomed her as the sun rose to make a crown with rays.
She walked bare feet on the shore, decorated by pebbles and shells. The wind held her cape to honor her.

She was finally in her kingdom.

This is the last poem I'll ever write as a 19 year old
I don't know if I should summarize the years I have spent
Or talk about the future and what lies ahead.
It's not easy to write anymore.
Words, they just keep slipping
like the string of a helium balloon
that I always jumped to hold, as a kid
but it would always fly away
just after touching the tips of my fingers
making me realize that I was almost there.
Almost.
Almost but never really there.
And I'd look at the balloon flying away
slowly turning into a dot
before forever being a part of the sky
And I'd wonder. I'd always wonder if I could just
let go of my strings one day
and fly away....
Would I be able to escape this place?
Would I be able to reunite with the balloon someday?
But little did I know that
letting go wasn't so easy.
It was much more than opening your fingers
and letting it fly away with the wind.
The strings which held me down were
wrapped around my finger tightly
you know, like we used to tie a rubber band
around our fingers just to stop the blood
from flowing in our veins and making our skin red.
It was just like that.
And letting the strings go meant
letting them cut through my skin
and leave marks
as a reminder that I once held onto something
or someone
too strongly between my fingers (and in my heart).

So I sit here now as I remember it all in my head
trying to decide what to share with my pen.
Not sure if this time would matter or not
as I whisper under my breath,
"Almost there, almost"

They came like a nightmare and took us away.
Oh Mother! Don't spill a tear, your son's in a better place.
They were scared of our pens so they fired us off.
Oh Mother! Don't cry for their guns have lost.

They pointed us out and asked our identities.
Oh Father! Stand tall, I answered them proudly.
I took a bullet in my head for wearing green.
Oh Father! Be strong, I did not feel a thing.

So bury me in this land and bury me with smiles
Every grain of this soil is a witness of my sacrifice.
So bury me in this land and bury me with smiles
Your son embraced martyrdom and a martyr never dies.

Those monsters just killed, did not let anyone go.
Oh Father! Their hearts were stone cold.
They painted the walls of my school with our blood.
Oh Father! Don't worry, they will be the one to suffer.

I was received by the angels at the gates of heaven.
Oh Mother! That place was full of little children.
And when I met the Lord, I was dressed in green.
Oh Mother! My Mother! I was so happy.

So bury me in this land and bury me with smiles
Every grain of this soil is a witness of my sacrifice.
So bury me in this land and bury me with smiles
Your son embraced martyrdom and a martyr never dies.

Words
break people.

And

Here I am,
using them to
fix
myself.

He sat there in the dark waiting for the shadows to approach him as he smoked another cigarette. The tobacco on fire burned his lungs yet soothed his pain for a while. It turned his heart numb and cold.
He looked ahead as the first shadow came and touched his neck. The hair on his back stood up as he saw the shadow vanishing in front of his eyes. Then came another and another.
He witnessed the last glimpses of hope die before the cigarette could end.

"Count", I whispered in his ear. "Count till there are no numbers left and your tongue hangs in the mid air to find something to speak. Count till your brain turns numb trying to search numbers to count. Count till you believe that there's no ending, no final destination to reach. Count till you lose yourself in the maze of the never ending numbers
Count because the last number that you'll count will be where you'll meet me."

The cup of coffee is still warm
With stains of red lipstick.
Drops of ink are still fresh,
Splattered on the pages
Of my diary which is now,
Just a reminder of the past.
Sometime past midnight it is,
Time for a new start.

They think that alcohol has replaced my blood.
Fools they are who only consider wine to get drunk.

Up in the north, away from all the filth,
there's a land of pure where angels descend.
And live between the rivers and trees.
There's a place known as Kashmir.

A place that has sacrifices it's people
just for the sake to get an identity.
A place that's been crying since ages
There's a place known as Kashmir.

A place that's been bleeding for freedom.
A place that's been a victim of tyranny.
A place that need to be heard just once.
There's a place known as Kashmir.

A place that's been divided among nation.
A place that has suffered a great deal.
Let them live, let them breathe.
Let there be a place known as Kashmir!

We stand together as a nation today
For we cannot see our heaven bleed.
Kashmir belongs to Pakistan.
And Pakistan belongs to Kashmir.

A clock in a tree with a door in its trunk.
Paint it on a plate with colors that you're given.

A black canvas with white paint strokes.
You paint the memories in your little workshop.

Teaching me how to paint my very own collection.
I don't know if you're real or just my imagination.

Let's play with paints tonight
He'll paint the skies,
scenes breath-taking
while I'll paint the lies
(and both will make some beautiful paintings)

Show me your naked self
by tearing down
every costume that
your eyes ever wore.

And I will love you
like a wolf
secretly loves the moon.

Just to feel better, he smoked his life away and now I am left here, picking up pieces of him from his ashtray.

Whisper the unknown feelings into my soul
as I'll drown in
the melting glaciers
of my
heart.

Every night, I please myself with a cup of wine
It removes all the pain and sorrows,
sending me off to a peaceful sleep.
And then I wake up every morning with a pure soul
and a pure heart like a new born baby.
They ask me why I drink
till I lose myself to subconsciousness.
I guess I can never explain them how
Love finds me whenever I am a mess.
It melts my heart with a warm kiss
that separates my soul from my body
Like a little particle of dust wandering
alone with the wind, alone but free.
A little particle of dust, that's what I am
Nothing greater than that in front of You.
And yet You bestow your love and blessings on me
I beg for forgiveness, before this I had no clue.
So here's another cup of wine, I raise it in the air
celebrating the love that I found tonight.
I know it'll make me lose myself again
But I am not scared to leave my body behind.

Shining
Star
Our pride
Fought till last
With dreams in her eyes
That little soul tried to beat her heart
She suffered all the pain while the whole nation prayed for her life
People like Arfa, with extra ordinary talent, aren't born everyday. Achieving so many high goals in such a little age.
Everyone have to face it but like success she faced it very early
That innocent laughter faded away somewhere so deep
Making everyone broken and teary
Now she sleep
With her
Shattered
Dreams!

Aur kitnay kaffan uthayein gay?
Aur kitnay bichar k jayein gay?
Aur kitnon ki qurbani dei
K ye sanehay khatam hojayein gay?

Aur kitna hum seh payein gay?
Aur kitna khoon bahayein gay?
Aur kitnon ko hum bhool jayein
Tou ye sanehay khatam hojayein gay?

Aur kitna sog manayein gay?
Aur kitnay ansoo bahaein gay?
Aur kitnon ko hum maaf karain
Tou ye sanehay khatam hojayein gay?

Kya hum bhi muskuraein gay?
Kya hum bhi zinda reh payein gay?
Ya hum bhi ab apni jaan de dein
Tou ye sanehay khatam hojayein gay?

Rustic colors of an autumn leaf,
Makes death look so beautiful.
Lifeless it lay telling tale of those naked trees
It once used to be a part of.
A poet's inspiration, a lover's song
The sky at the time of the dawn.

Now it accompanies me
As I lay in my grave,
For the birds have flown south.

like the skin grows back to heal the wound,
we humans like to stay together to fix each other.

I saw her daily, getting dressed up for the battle as she wore her armour and polished her swords.
She'd look at a warrior in the mirror and smile, despite all the battle scars which had become her identity.
The white flag had not danced with the wind yet she had already won.

Her name now shines bright in the pages of history.

I never understood her.
But then she was never meant to be understood.
She made the complexity and confusion look like a beauty itself.
The craziness around her was too much for anyone to handle.
No one believed in her but me.


*I called her my Wonderland.

before you fall in love with him
you have to learn
to love yourself
to trust your heart
to find your origin
before you find your other half
learn what you need
learn to protect yourself from harm

no no no my sweet child
it's not called being selfish
or having a cold heart
you have to know yourself
before someone defines who you are
you have to discover where you belong
before someone gives you his past

and now that you have finally understood
tell me if you still believe that you and him are
parts of the same broken star

I woke up from a nightmare. I couldn't sleep any longer. I wore my cloak and sat in candle light with my type writer. My mind was not present where my body was. I was wandering in the wonderland through my words. Thak thak thak. One by one, the memories started to form a shape. The mansion in the middle of lavender field. Your clothes laying on the floor. The family picture on the side table. I wanted you so much that I actually believed it was all real. But as the sun came up, my words betrayed me again.

I've traveled the whole universe and what lies ahead just by looking into your eyes. They are dark but glittering with the secrets and wonders.
I've tasted the enchantment that sets a soul free as I kissed your lips and kept on kissing. You spilled all your spells as we exchanged our souls.
I've escaped my body and wandered in the land of the wanderers where you feed me with love that I had never known before.

Now I am lost, for I don't know my way back from the wonderland to the thorns where I once belonged.

We all are fighting wars inside us,
as we wear the masks of peace and love.

Let's all play the blame game
like little kids play 'tag you're it.'
I'll blame you.
You blame someone else.
We'll blame till we're all culprits.
But that's another problem
For we'll all be equal.
**** now that ***** as well.
How can we all be the same?
Because if we did then
who will be left to blame?

I ran to the washroom and locked myself in. The tears started rolling down my cheek. I tried breathing but instead I puked. I puked blood. My mouth tasted like rusted iron. "God, what is happening to me?" I couldn't control myself and I puked again and again until I lost the count and crashed on the floor.

I woke up in the pool of my own blood. It was dark yet I could still see the shadow. It approached me slowly and bent down to my level. I tried getting up but slipped and fell back in the puddle. It slowly raised his hand and caressed my cheek.
"You are being punished for your sins, sweetie."
With that, I puked blood again but this time it tasted sweet.

Half dressed she stood in the kitchen making two cups of coffee.
Half dressed he laid in the bed regretting that last sip of whiskey.

we are the kids who grew up in old wine bottles
keeping ourselves out in the open
and calling the light breeze,
entering through the rim,  
our secret freedom

we are the kids who grew up during the war times
keeping ourselves hidden under beds
and reciting all the prayers
which we had learned
while listening to the guns fire

we are the kids who grew up holding ourselves tightly
making sure our masks don't fall off
and we don't break apart
like we always have been
(like we truly are)

And as I woke up in his favorite black shirt, I realized how much burden he had carried all his life.

The angels looked at me and whispered,
"No need to throw him in the Hell,
he already suffered a lot in his own
which he created or maybe the world did for him
but poor soul, look at all those burns."

I smiled at them for they did not know
my hell was my solace in the heaven
of the world.

You'll crave my warm kisses
in your empty bed.
And your sheets will always carry
my tempting scent
Surely I won't be there but
I'll be a sweet memory in your head
rescuing you every time
you end up losing yourself.
So darling tell me again,
Can I be your summer's love
and winter's regret?