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 Jul 2018 j
a daydreamer
Crush
 Jul 2018 j
a daydreamer
How is it that you're so far, but
Yet so close? I want to be seen
As the girl who catches flies, not
The girl who runs for the moon.

How is it that you haven't noticed
My soul? Even though I've been dancing and singing ahead you,
Dressing silly like most girls, with heavy make-up on?

How is it that you never put a glance
On my face? As if I were a fly passing
Through, or something you disgust
Much?

I want to be seen as the girl
In the magazines, or the girl
Who's got thousand dollar shoes, or the girl everyone loves.

But I'm just a debris to you.
 Jul 2018 j
Anne
Mixed Emotions
 Jul 2018 j
Anne
In the couple of days
I didn't know what to feel
I can't think any other ways
If all of this is real

Just ignore the emptiness I feel
Just going to tell myself this isn't real
My heart breaks because of you
Just gonna wait for you to say ''I love you''
I had mixed emotions when a friend of mine has a crush on me back and yes i had a crush on him from a while back but not anymore there's more to this story but I'll keep it hidden
 Jun 2018 j
Hollau
I could never find the right way to tell you,
I know words won’t be enough.
I didn’t want to talk to much,
just wanted to show you love.

streetlights passing; every one gets me a heartbeat closer
to where it started beating.
walking down the street from the day we met;
even after everything, I can’t forget to think of you

you acted shy, but I didn’t miss your grinning face.

scattered hearts, broken glass;
getting lost in the sounds of our hearts beating;

all I ever really wanted in this short life was you

my heart feels drunk;
your smile’s a drug.
with every moment that passes, I melt.

I’m ecstatic like a drug addict, strung out and spellbound

I feel your lightning in my veins,
I’m speechless, words cannot explain

I feel an aching when you step into my body in my mind
though I try to resist, I still want it all.

you were all that I was looking for,
could have had my heart, it was yours

let’s watch the evening sky,
witness our souls come to life;
dreams can melt like snow.
show me a sign, show me some life,  
without you, I’d lose me

let go of all your haunted dreams tonight;
I know your soul, I’ll be your home.
when the lights go out, you still got me.

you’d fit so perfectly to me,
we’d end our loneliness.

we lost track of the time
dreams aren’t what they used to be;
some things slide by so carelessly

we raise our love in a timeless land that is far out of reach

I remember how we were before;
it don’t feel like memories.

I fell in love out under the moonlight,
you took my hand and held me close, for once I was alright.
there was magic in the air and you were right here beside me.

we look up at the stars, a perfect night to dream with you
how I hope to have forever to spend right here in this world with you

feel all the things we might breathe in the air tonight,
get lost in our escape;
breathe in the air too late

since one day you will disappear, I’ll keep every part of you.

I remember when we used to be so close,
every now and then I think of when we broke.
held the strings tied to my heart; pulled then pushed away,

why can’t I get over you?
your love is a fire, I’m still high on the fumes

you are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need,
chasing relentlessly;
and I don’t know why.

when the night falls, the loneliness calls;
time to figure out how to chase my blues away.

when I fall into the dark you always haunt me
bags underneath my eyes, all of those sleepless nights
without you in my life

give me one night to man the pain.

every time I close my eyes I’m dreaming about you,
it keeps happening all the time;

even when the memories are put to bed, I think of you

I swear I could feel you in my arms, but there was no one there at all
I tossed and turned in the end;
I searched again and again, but I never found you

I’m still loving you in my mind.

nothing I haven’t tried to get you off my mind;
there’s no good reason why
state of dreaming has left me numb.

I just can’t get you off my mind and now I’m gonna be up all night
I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep.

I just want to leave us behind.
It’s tearing me up inside.

I’ve cried for you, you’re in every part of me.
melt this curse away.

fading lovers,
two hearts beating on with different rhythms;
falling apart, still we hold together;

who are we to call each other selfish lovers?
we all need someone to hold.
I know it’s too much too soon to tell you that I need you by my side.

from the start we were changing,
I should have seen the signs;
no trace of what we could be

your heartbeat stops as I’m walking away
wait for me because I want to be where you are.

you know my love can hold you down.

I can’t fight this feeling, it’s not in my head;
I know it’s something I did.

oh how I miss the days we’d get carried away
am I just overthinking feelings I conceal?

everything is shattering, and it’s my mistake.
I meant to make it right.

don’t know what I was doing.
I ruined all the love we had before.  

I’m not freaking out, but I’m afraid of losing you.

I’m stuck in this fear
you put my life back together, I’m not broken anymore;

you will never know what you mean to me.
I hope you know, I can’t live without you.

you’re all I ever need,
I should be holding you.

I spent a lifetime on this, but I would give it up for you.

I make too many mistakes, better get this right.

face to face with all the voices in my head
do I still have to mean everything I ever said?

I won’t be the victim,
so slowly letting go;
but the world still moves on.

never thought that I could feel this way
what am I holding onto?

I wish that I could stay.

walking down the street where I broke your heart,
and I think of you.
holding it together ’til I fall apart
when I think of you.  

take my hand and remind me
of what we used to believe and dream to be.
take me back to when things used to be so simple.

run to the moment and set me free.

we’re smiling, but we’re close to tears
trying to make it work.

can we go back to where our memories don’t exist;
fall away and drift to where we won’t be missed?
won’t you come back into me where you belong?

you can count on it, I’m where you left me
I can count on you to show me the way

hope that I can turn back the time to make it all alright,
I promise to build a new world for us;

gaze into my eyes when the fire starts,
fan the flame that melts our hearts;
illuminate a world that’ll try to bring you down.

know that it’s you; the reason that I come alive, it lives in your eyes.
these will be times that I will miss.

not gonna tell you that I’m over it,
I think about it every night

my heart’s burning and it’s turning black,
but I’m learning how to be stronger

tonight I’ll breathe in the future and tear down my walls,
force the feelings away ‘cause
they were never meant to stay.

I never wanted it to be this way,
I might’ve thought that we could last forever
the days felt so long, things fit perfectly

all we ever wanted is to feel alive.
it’s too late, I’m sorry, darling

I’m slipping through the place that we once knew,
all I can feel is you.

I lost you, now I see
I’m not in love and you’re not worth my tears;

now you’re just a name, a face I used to know
but everybody seems to look like you.  

we’ll fade and be forgotten, like ashes; washed away
no trace of what we stand for; what we could be

together we wait for silence.
fall into the hands of a greater unknown.  

I’ve been worried if you’ll be okay;
I don’t want to miss you once I’ve waved goodbye.

don’t wanna waste love; don’t wanna hurt you.

understanding that I have to go this way is harder than asking me to stay

I’ll go alone and never speak of this again;
I’ll depend on you.  

I cannot come back this time;
I will be listening for you.

isn’t this, too, just fate and nothing more?

I know we’ll become who we’re meant to be.

I hope we find our missing pieces.

fade away, fade away, I say to our love.

sincerely,
I love you dearly
Composed of lyrics from songs that I've listened to over the years. I wanted to show how the narratives and emotions flow together to create one that relates to my perspective
 Jun 2018 j
f
You Deserve Better
 Jun 2018 j
f
And I'm sorry about ever knocking on his door.
You deserve better,
Better than me.
And I'm aching for you.
You deserve better,
Better than this.
And I'm trying not to cry in your arms.
You deserve better,
Better than us.
11-29-14
 May 2018 j
Gwen Pimentel
Stars
 May 2018 j
Gwen Pimentel
"Look, a star", I said
He replied, "I know, it's beautiful"

I was looking at the sky and he was looking at me
 May 2018 j
fifth
in many ways than one
i try to see the figures
resting on my shoulders
heavy; helium homicide
bringing nothing to the table
mixed with ounces of
awful regret
o how we'd twist and turn
in a rollercoaster
give me bags of that
cotton of a heart
undo any contracts
barring my submission
to your just looks
i only wanted to make you smile
piecemeal enchanted
it hurts when you say goodbye
you often say nothing at all

— The End —