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one mistake and im wilting
all because of the lack of attention and love i receive
always lonely always sad
wanting to be happy but continuous judgement will never make me glad
you call me sneaky but that is due to you being strict
you do not believe in me or acceptance
you make me feel dead inside
sorry for not being enough even when i am at my best

-a.h.
 May 2016 JR Potts
Swetank Modi
She used to smile
to really smile
she used to love life.

But then one day,
From nowhere,
Her life completely changed.

"I've got to be strong"
  She said to herself
and so, her heart she locked away.

She was strong for years,
  but as time went by
she started to fear

Her feelings wanted freedom
so she opened her heart for a little while
and then they came pouring...

Shouting and bitting
screaming and demanding attention
She couldn't take the pressure

So she wrote a note to her loved ones
and with tears in her eyes
she swallow the death pills

Her mom tried to save her
she went to get help
and they helped her

The feelings are strong
but now she knows,
that it was too late.

She blamed herself
but now she knows,
she knows she is stronger.
In the memory of my late sister
 May 2016 JR Potts
marie-laure
it won't stop.
nothing will slow down
i ask for everything to just hang on, hold on a moment
please can you wait
just for a second

nothing ever does

so i pick
pick pick pick
pick pick pick pick pick pick
constantly
over and over and over over and over and over
and over
when that no longer satisfies the compulsion i bite down
longer, harder
until i taste blood

until it's over

at least, for now.

the blood pools at my fingertips
little red wells of humiliation

the pieces of skin collect at my feet
like a scattering of shame
a signpost of the turmoil i cannot contain

the girls around me look me up and down
whisper words of contempt and disgust

"freak"

torn and bitten, i curl into fists

the teachers stare quietly
unable to pass judgement, but the pity smothers me

"disturbed"

the urges are quiet
sated, satisfied

it's done

at least, for now
it's been far too long since my last poem. this one needed to be written. all the love x
 May 2016 JR Potts
Kush
Cogitatio
 May 2016 JR Potts
Kush
I remember when the worst thing around were these shadows that dance on my wall
Open windows served as music, for the wind’s rhythm drove specters to sway
Standing in the doorway, with the lazy hum of bees outside, my eyes panicked

That was years ago

The shadows were just glimpses of the realms that resided in my head
From the cavernous depths sprang a Panther colored like silky ink
It prowls both my mind and waking reality with an equal vibe of eeriness
Recently, a quiet day of class turned gruesome within seconds
Caught up in a cold fit of hatred, I saw my classmates’ bodies slumped over
Their blood formed a massive pool reeking of crimson
I saw that **** cat stare at me with liquid eyes while it lapped it up
A few blinks later, Geometry class was back to its usual dull droning

I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore
I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy, I’m not ******* crazy!

Or am I?

Every time things go back to normal, there’s a tinge of sickliness in my gut
The grim expectation of more horror and gore
Every time things go back to normal, I think of buzzing bugs and melodic wind
I think of phantomous felines and shadows waltzing across my wal
13
Find yourself among the sea.
(We all know you'd **** to be clean)
You're dissolved memories rotting with purity
Unobstructed details of a killing spree.

You're ragged knots hanging in the tree
Vain attempts at writing new memories.
But god my god, you're too blind to see
Hell is with you in your veins as you sleep.

So bless me, or curse me, really
Whatever's easiest for you.
Your gut wrenching sorrow is getting old, too.

Do me a favor
Just once for me, please.
Count your blessings four by four by four
And with the scripture you hold to the highest degree
Shout to the condemned what exactly it is that you see.
 May 2016 JR Potts
Lena LeFay
Raven beautiful night
Such fainting silver voices
Wander around - what a sight
Listen carefully once or twice - noises

I could swear I’ve heard them singing
Remember their melodic screams?
Their dull vanity swinging?
Anything that redeems?

Broken strings - painted red
Somewhere lost the rhumb
Take a breath, make a step
I guess I am numb
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