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 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
ellie danes
Ellie. My name is Ellie.
I want to be a writer. I want to be a star. I want to be free.
I imagine myself riding on wide open roads,
on the back of a motorcycle with a boy
who is as much of a ghost as he is a person.
I imagine myself dazed in rooms
filled with a purple glow.
I imagine pills, lust, liquor, leather.
I want to live forever
and I want to die young.
My name is Ellie.
I don’t know what home means;
I don’t want to.
I need people to love me.
I will break all of their hearts.
I imagine late nights in underground clubs…
Marlboro, rock & roll, Howl by Allen Ginsberg–the bible.
Tanqueray;
falling down in a graveyard muttering in Romanian,
hoping for salvation,
but while I’m called an angel night after night
I’ve got the devil in me.
Rosewater runs through my veins,
the blood has already been spilt.
I won’t ever belong to anyone, not even myself.
When you have the knowledge that nothing’s real
it’s hard to do what’s expected of you.
I relate to flowers a lot.
They’re beautiful, but they don’t last.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try to take care of them,
they just run out of life.
I think I ran out of life the day I was born.
Everything is nothing.
The gods don’t want you to know that,
but that is the one truth.
"about me"
 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
ellie danes
roses
 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
ellie danes
THE PAST IS DEAD AND GONE, YOU GET NOTHING FROM LIVING THERE…
BUT IT’S YOU, IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU.
I FELT LESS ALONE WHEN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU.
I WISH WE HAD NEVER MET, I WISH WE HAD NEVER MET…
I TRIED TO RUIN MYSELF BEFORE YOU COULD.
WE RUINED EACH OTHER.
I AM THE RUINS OF WHAT WERE ONCE YOUR DREAMS.
i hate that your music is good
i hate that your music is good
i hate that i still care
i hate that i still care
i don’t want to remember anything
EVERYTHING I DO IS AN ATTEMPT TO FORGET YOU.
MY AURA USED TO BE BRILLIANT AND GOLDEN.
WHEN YOU TOUCHED MY PSYCHE IT TURNED GRAVE GREEN.
SUCH SWEET SORROW; I THRIVE ON BROKEN HEARTS.
MINE, YOURS, HIS, HERS.
i have not seen your face in ages
i have not seen your face in ages
i have not been able to breathe
i have not been able to breathe*
i hate that your music is good
i don’t want to remember anything
i shouldn't still be writing about you!
 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
Violet Rose
I wish to be in Solitude,*
Away from countless distractions and useless epiphanies.
I wish to be in Solitude,
Away from tiring conversations of endless encounters.
I wish to be in Solitude,
I long to sit in silence, a blanket of tranquility,
To only hear my own slow breathing.
I long to listen to the trees,
While a wave of wind flows over me, into Serenity.
I long to close my eyes,
To only see my gentle hands and the natural colors of the woods when I open them.
I long to see these vibrant colors of life again,
Not to be diluted by monotonous greys.
I long to clear my head of anyone’s voice that is not my own,
Allowing only the harmonic song that the flowers sing of healing.
I long to heal and to rest,
To forgive my brain and body of self-inflicted harm.
I wish to be in Solitude.
11-28-16
 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
Pax
Poetic strings
 Dec 2016 NvrMnd
Pax

words creates strings of emotions,
it connects from one reader to the other.

-quote-
i just had a passing thought earlier on what to do next year or whenever i got the time to retrack my life. I really wanted to write a story or a tale. I want it to be completed this time. When writing a story went inside my heart, i manage to write several chapters but i never got to finish them. I always thought that my knowledge or experiences wasn't enough for me to built a solid plot or realistic/fantasy viewpoint. I remember this quote i wrote for a review in wc i did last week and realize that our poetic words is an extension of our life's strings, maybe this is one reason why i write quotes which reflects my life and the life around me whenever it is in writing or reality. It is a reminder, a guide, or even a inspiration to those who write. You know, at some points within my realm of thoughts, i tried to forget and even give up writing because i have a low self-esteem, as i grow older it never went up to confidence, so it went to my heart and become stone that i went on isolation to never finding any relationship, even friendship on the real -world i considered them as acquaintance, i built up a wall upon myself. sigh... i got side track on my life, sorry for that... my point now it that never stop writing, as i am doing myself to keep on going. thanks for reading....
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