I wanted to know what God knows,
I longed to be the one He chose...
Guilty of superbia and plagued by pride,
I thought I was special but now I hide.
No shame in misbehaving for attention.

Now I have the Satan's eyes glued on me!
My fate is set and I cannot flee.
God just glances at me on occasion,
The Devil is strong at persuasion.
Black soul now filled with hope and dread.

Life is now austere.
The soul fades when demons are near.
Each one stealing the light and purity,
Now left in obscurity...
*Evil fades into darkness where I belong with surety.

Your pain is so great... nothing left for me to do,
it's what I always knew,
with old age comes sorrow and death,
I'd give you my breath,
that would only be temporary.

Your agony sends night terrors to me,
nowhere to flee!
The terror sets in on you and I.
I can only cry,
but I know I need to say goodbye.

You will always be in my heart,
you will not die at the hospital but we will part,
met you too late in life,
our time was cut with a knife.
Those who abandoned you forgot you but I never will.

I've got a place no one can find,
try looking for a place that doesn't exist,
you have to meet me here,
I don't let anyone know of this,
night or day just say my name.

Michael like the Archangel,
you're my guardian angel though a blue angel,
the smoke I inhale is a blessing,
I know I shouldn't be messing and I'm stressing,
the realm I face is fatal and ethereal.

What if it's you?
And it wasn't me?
Why do I have to taste poison to die?
I want more even if death is all mental,
all I deserve is another high.

You jump started my heart when you existed,
but I forgot your heart could be twisted,
I'm so torn cause you saved me but you can ****,
those eyes can save a soul or make one ill,
I'd rather run than be your victim.

I'd refuse to be blind unless you wanted me to be,
but I would die if you asked me,
I don't matter but you do,
even if I perish I will thank you,
my existence depends on you for I am weak it's true.

When tears burn but you touch your heart...
and there's no pulse.
Is this the end or a new start?
No longer with any impulse.
Numb and thoughtless I fall apart.

Those whispers are just me yelling.
You should know for every truth there is a lie,
My sight is always rebelling.
The one who never cares is the first to die,
I will watch my own demise.

Impending doom never felt so good,
an existence without purpose or joy,
take a chance to get back in those chains like you should,
money or starvation there's no in between poor boy,
just a common counterfeit more than I am understood.

The night is the darker than my own heart,
I never thought I'd fall apart,
blood drips but I don't care,
I say another prayer,
lost all my hair.

Everyone had a dream and plan for me except me...
I'd rather flee,
no purpose for me here on Earth,
I knew this since birth,
I'd be happier dead but there's too much to unearth.

I've given up looking for a reason to live,
I'd rather just forgive,
I wouldn't trade my depression to anyone,
I'd deal with it if I could run,
I know I've come undone.

Tears created trenches on my face,
left with no breathing space.
Both blinded and asphyxiated,
every day I was reminded and humiliated.
And yet...
thoughts flew past me like bullets in a war zone.

The mirror shows no reflections,
could this be rejection of my imperfections?
Overused, bruised and abused emotions,
I allowed joy to be replaced by angst somehow.
The seeds of catharsis I sowed sprouted now!

The darkness retreats even if only momentarily,
in control of my thoughts temporarily.
The doubts and lies turn to certainty and truth.
Is this what it feels like to be awake?
Demons never rest but today they sleep.