Today I feel broken.
I'm carving up pieces of myself
offering them to everyone in an attempt
to make myself forget and help them

Today I'm getting smaller.
As I offer more pieces and he,
Who usually puts them back,
Takes them without question

Today I am sad without reason
Today I want him to know that
Today I cannot seem to show it
Never am I able to say it


Today I am a closed book
I expect him to read me
I cannot seem to yield my pages
I cannot open myself

Today I am a closed book
Today I am sad without reason
Today I am getting smaller
Today I feel broken

Today... depression.

with my eyes covered i could walk
a straight line to your front door
and enter loving you blindly
i may know nothing of subtle niceties
or your estranged heart
but i know how soft your steps
on the landing during restless slumber  
and how many hands it takes to hold you down
i have sent letters to every house you called a home
only to have my longing stored
in the unlocked drawer

i know the shame that keeps you
shifting and creaking as you cower
from the night's breeze, hoping for rest
hoping heaven is as forgiving
as i am

i have watched the lights dim
in every room you become
a different shadow  
all your darkness protruding
i am the only one
i would bend my bones
to enter you as the sour breath
you wake up tasting

Running
Trying to move faster
To get away.
To put distance in between
Me and you.

Trying with all my might
To not be there anymore.
Legs pumping
Arms moving
Sweat dripping
I just want to get away.

But you're everywhere
Every place I look.
In everything I do.
In all the parts of my life.
And the horrible thing is

You can only run so fast in your head.

I have secrets written down on scraps of paper thrown underneath my bed but you're my biggest I took advantage of you and how you felt when I would make you smile I made you feel like a grain of dirt in my garden and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought I was innocent and perfect that I could do no wrong especially to you but it was all a lie I made myself believe and you believe for so long I hate that I hurt you and I hate how I can't take any of it back I cannot stand the thought of you wandering around today or years from now thinking of me as a storm who did not do anything good but destroy it's precious surrounding I really pray that the thought of me does not pass your mind when you are sad and that I'm not pinned in the back of your mind but out of your mind I cannot stand to think that you will remember me as someone who broke you instead of someone who loved you

-something I wish she would say to me.

j.f

What is poetry? Is it happiness. Or is it insanity, or is it just moments of our lives caught and frozen. Put on display for all to see.I guess poetry is whatever we want it to be.

beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display

Loyalty?   Loyalty?
Where have you been?
as I walk down the street,
I see people blend

You are hiding
please come out
many people are byeing
but we cant survive