slow down
Speak to me

slow down*
Walk with me

slow down
Please remember how to say my name.

You can be rebuilt.
You can be fixed.
You are broken, but you are not hopeless.

Now walk faster
You can do it.

And now try running,
I believe in you.

Once again you can sprint,
I knew you could.

So go, and live again as you used to.
Because you don't need me anymore.

You never needed me.

I turned sixteen yesterday,
And the day filled me with dread.
From my father and my mother,
I wished that I was dead.

I turned sixteen yesterday,
And my parents made a fuss.
Although I was sad,
I gave them my trust.

I turned sixteen yesterday,
And they tried to give me everything.
Grateful I am, hateful I won't be,
But the only thing I wished for was his arms around me.

I turned sixteen yesterday,
And I breathe a new breath.
The life that once engulfed me
Has now become death.

I turned sixteen yesterday,
And I miss him so much.
Happy as I tried to be,
I still longed for his touch.

And I am sixteen today,
He would have been, too,
But death came and took him,
Too many years, too soon.

You should have been sixteen,
But young you will stay.
My love for you will never die,
We'll meet again one day.

Mirrors will never forget
The names I've called
And the fates I've met
From crying by myself.
I really don't know
What has become of me
Bloodshot eyes and deafening cries
And I scream and I scream again
Until long,
Nothing is left of my sanity
And I call your name once more.

Sweetness.
Crashing together,
And finally allowing myself to break.
Melting,
Sugar and syrup in my mouth and yours,
A taste that both of us crave.

Embrace,
Security and belonging,
However it does not last in the way we want it.

Snaking,
Reaching underneath,
And an altitude change shakes us
As you tell me I will not fall.
Arms around my waist,
And now I laugh.

"Why do you laugh? What have I done?"

My reply is only
"Your mouth, as sweet as it has ever been,
is on mine, and for as long as I want it to be, it will.
You see, I am not laughing at you, but merely because I have finally received
the subject of my dreams."

He ponders;
And returning to his work I return to mine,
But this time, the sugar is burning into a magnificent taste,
Like glass candy between our tongues,
And raw cane behind our eyes.

Would it be correct to say that you are the only one I see?
And though my eyes work,
The vignette cannot be cured.
I cannot see,
But I have vision.
For you and only you,
My eyes seek.
I search,
Among crowds and static,
As if, also, your voice is the only one I can hear.
As if, as well, I may only smell your scent, a sweetness
And as if I can only sense you, feel your pulse beneath my own lips,
Taste you, from your mouth onto mine,
And understand you, better than I understand myself.
You are broken, as am I,
But flawed fruits yet prove themselves to be the sweetest.

I had never once expected
A snake to be so beautiful.

Magnificent serpent, tempt me,
And I will succumb to you.
Show me the apple,
And I will bite it.
I will consume as much needed to please such a spectacular creature.

As long as you may call me yours,
I will be yours.
As long as you may say that you own me,
I will be owned by you.
As long as you may say that I obey you,
I will obey.

No amount of good nor evil may deter me from following the example you set.
No amount of kindness will assuage me,
Nor will it pleasure every desire, every fantasy.

I yearn for your punishment, your sin.
I desire the pain and disappointment that only you can give me.
And I fear that good will soon plague me.
Writing a letter to you, my dear,
And forever wishing you would receive it.

I cannot keep myself from your evil.
I cannot keep myself from sin.
But I find, lately,
That I do not care.
In fact,
I am chasing you.
You and your sin.