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Jan 27 · 39
And here I am,
Once again screaming out
But I fear that no one
Can hear me.
What if
They just don't care
Jan 21 · 27
It matters not the words I say,
Or how I scream out for a hand,

To help pull me out of the dark
Where I have so long resided.

It matters not how far I reach
Or how hard I long for a feeling
That doesn't threaten to destroy me,

The way of the world is such
That not a single soul emerges unscathed.
Jan 21 · 26
Friends I Once Knew
Hello friends,
Or friends I once knew,
How are you?

I wish I could reach out,
But the words won't come-
I'm long past seeing the light of the sun

All the people close to me
I can count on one hand
I forgot everyone else via my own command.

For that I apologize,
Sometimes I miss you guys.
And sometimes I wonder where you are and what you're doing with your lives.

Surely you're doing better than me,
Who can't find the words to say
Or the ***** to even begin speaking,

Perhaps you miss me, perhaps not.
For this is up to you,
All I can say now is that
You're friends that I'm glad I once knew.
Nov 2020 · 33
insomniatrical Nov 2020
Now I see the sky

And before I had convinced myself that there was no sky to see.

There were no stars, and no sun.

The entire world was below at my feet,

And I had never thought to look up.

I no longer stare at the ground,

Because now I see the sky
Sep 2020 · 45
We Are Not Here
insomniatrical Sep 2020
I become fearful sometimes,
That I am my fear,
And my fear is me.
A terrifying thought,
That I should be my own end,
Or even that I will be.
Sep 2020 · 83
A Good Day Signing Leases
insomniatrical Sep 2020
I almost forgot what good days were,
That it didn't have to be extra to be extra special.

But today we are lazy,
And we are at home,
And we haven't done anything at all.

You're making food,
I am watching a movie,
And today has been a good day.
Jul 2020 · 39
Oh, How We Change
insomniatrical Jul 2020
The warmth you lay out for me
In this new bed I know,
A blessing among the curses I once lived
And thought I was meant for,
I see clearly now
That the night will become day
And the weather will warm
To brighten my life with new flora
And new memories.
Jan 2020 · 296
insomniatrical Jan 2020
'But sadness is a gift, you see.
For we are given our sadness so that we might appreciate our happiness.'
Apr 2019 · 162
My Vows
insomniatrical Apr 2019
Love, you are mine.

Love, I am yours.

Love, you're alright,
Stay by my side.

I am always with you,
Stay with me too.

Guide me in the dark,
Be my shining moon.

Warm me with your summer light,
Burning like the sun.

And I shall do the same for you,
My heart and only one.
Feb 2019 · 205
insomniatrical Feb 2019
I am 18 years old.  
How fascinating.
Doesn't it feel great...
To be an adult,
To be 18...
Feb 2019 · 413
the return
insomniatrical Feb 2019
It is a cold November morning,
Dew on the grass and a cool blue light in the sky.
There are bunched wet leaves on the ground and
There is fog in the air as his car idles on the street.
The exhaust breathes a light cloud around it,
Faded and cracked paint adorning its surface.

He kills the engine and steps out, the cool air hitting his face as dawn begins to crawl forward. Up the walk to the front door, he knows she will be there. The front door is still locked, but he knows where the spare key is and retrieves it. As the cuts slide past the strike plate and into the cylinder, the lock clicks and releases, letting him inside.
He slips through the crack, careful to keep the door from creaking.

He sees her on the couch, the television playing late night ads. She snores softly. The cat snuggled in her arms purrs, and raises its eyes at him. The animal has awaited his return.

"Come, thing," he softly coos, and removes the feline, setting it aside to follow him in a few seconds.

She still lays on the couch, sound and secure in her reverie. She's carried into the bedroom in the comfort of his arms, and laid under burgundy sheets as the birds begin to sing their songs. He covers her and then settles himself onto the edge of the bed, waiting for her to wake, but careful not to rouse her from her sleep.

A few hours pass, and although he is tired, he stays awake to see her eyes open. Morning light comes in through the windows and the clock on her nightstand reads 8:23 in bright green numbers.

Finally, she stirs. She breathes out heavily and stretches like a cat, her toes extending beyond the blankets around her. Her eyes slowly open and close, like fluttering butterfly's wings. She turns over to her side, and sees him patiently waiting on the bed. Her eyes widen with happiness and surprise, and then the happiness fades. It is replaced with doubt.

She reaches out, slowly, to touch him, her hand shaking. Her lip begins to quiver and tremble.

"Are you real?"

He takes her hand in his own and kisses across her knuckles, making sure that their eyes meet.

"I am real, darling."
Originally started Feb 22, 2018
insomniatrical Feb 2019
I'm not sure how we ended up this far
From what we wanted to be
We used to aim for the stars
It's so crazy
To let the one you hold dear
Tell you the biggest lies
Become your biggest fear
We used to dream of a life
Where we would be alright
But that's all gone now
You had your head in the clouds
Now you got both feet on the ground
And I'm scared that your mind is working against you
I can't keep hold of you
You're gone, you're lost, there's no trust
In what we once had
Was it only lust?
I feel you slipping away
Day after day
You say that you'll never leave, that you'll always stay
You'll always be there until the very end
But those are only words
You break when you bend
You're so easy to manipulate
With the drugs and the girls
I thought it was our fate,
To go against the world
To prove them wrong
To put up a fight
But you're stuck now
Locked up another night
Another scream coming from my closed mouth
You call me when you're in, but never when you're out
You say that we can be friends
But it hurts too much
Is this really the end?
I need to feel your touch
But I can't
I'm in a trance
I need to run away
As far, as fast, as I can get in a day
Or two
However long it takes
To be free from you
And all of the lies,
All of the mistakes
That I made
When I gave up and gave in
To every excuse that you made up
I wanna be rid of you now
I'll say it loud
That I'm so glad, after all this time
Of me and you and you and me
I can finally see
Where I ****** up
You're no good for me
I took so long
But now I'm moving on
I don't need the lies,
The ties
To you
That kept me up all night
Just crying
In the dark
I wanted to save any spark
We had,
You mad?
You were always making me sad
You know
That we can add
All the times you did something bad
But I stuck around thinkin we'd make it through,
Looking back now
If I only knew
That it was never us,
It was only you
It was you who went to jail
It was you who needed bail
It was you who told tall tales
We always knew this love would fail
It would fall into a hole
This was the coffin's final nail
We never had a solid goal
Because your plans are always changing,
They're ranging
From like to love to lust
You're always breaking my trust
But I think that it's high time
I got the ***** to say goodbye
We'll never be "us" again
Since you wanna be "just friends"
'i gave my life to you but i wanna be through'
This is an idea that I had a while ago... What if I finally was through?
What if I really did walk away?
Feb 2019 · 97
insomniatrical Feb 2019
When in eight days
My body is my own
And I will be consumed by fire.
Smoke is curling in the air
And burning with desire.
Demons chase but stop at the porch
When I turn the latch on the door
Of this house,
This hole-in-the-wall place that I call home.
The place where I am never alone.
The place where you are
In the late of night
Listening to music
Are you alright?
We are nailed,
We are glued,
You're stuck to me, I'm stuck to you.
I shall be my own
My free
And you will be beside me
When I almost scream
Because there's a needle under my skin
And there's blood on the sheets
That you just washed but you swear it's okay
Because that's what you do for someone you love
Don't give up on me
Don't give up on us.
insomniatrical Dec 2018
Every time I see you
I want to cry.
I want to scream and yell
And I want you to die.
The things that you did
The things that you said,
They only fuel my fire.
Every time I come over
Every time I say I'm fine
I wish you'd just die.
Why can't you just die?
I was five, I was six, I was seven.
I blocked you out until I was eleven.
You took my childhood
You took it all.
And all the therapy sessions
That I have attended
They didn't help me at all.
I was too young;
I had no idea
But then I grew older
And soon that idea
Came to the front of my mind
And I knew that what happened,
That wasn't alright
It wasn't a lie
It deserved all my crying
And for years whenever I saw you,
I wished that I was dying.
But now I can see
What it really did to me
I cried but it's alright
Because now I can look at you
With hatred in my eyes
Not for myself, it wasn't my fault.
But for the monster before me,
Oxygen tank and all.
Dec 2018 · 99
Take The Damn Plea
insomniatrical Dec 2018
I thought I knew what it was like to love you.
I had no idea that it would be a back and forth chase of happiness and anger.
I didn't know I would be upset as much as I am content.
I wish I knew how much fun it would be, and how much pain it would cause.
I wish I would have known that you would be the best worst thing to walk into my life.
I thought it would be easy and then I tried to justify how hard it was.
I know the pain is worth it.
I know the cold gets warmer.
I know my eyes will adjust to the darkness.
I know that you are a permanence to me,
And for you, my love, I am everything.
Dec 2018 · 73
insomniatrical Dec 2018
I see her,
Sitting there with him
Sitting there with anyone
And I see
That she gets to be
Happy and loved
And she gets to have
Someone who's there
Someone to kiss
Someone to call
Someone to hold
She gets to love
Someone who speaks
And drives
And laughs
And cries
And someone who's always around
Never in jail
Never on drugs
Never suicidal
I get so jealous that she has love
That burns fiercely.
And although it doesn't last long,
I can only dream of experiencing that passion.
Dec 2018 · 78
Day 2: it's where you are
insomniatrical Dec 2018
So there we were, stuck in time
Countless days and countless nights
We feel how we feel,
We can't deny
That this is what it is
It's what it's going to be
You're leaving me for a while
But I'm not gonna cry
I'm gonna hold on and wait for you
And smile when you come back to me
Smile when you walk through those doors
When you stand taller
When you smile bigger
When you laugh louder
I will be there,
Arms open waiting for you to come home.
Dec 2018 · 159
Day 1: Gone at 10 am
insomniatrical Dec 2018
I'll see you in a month,
You're leaving today.
I'm scared, I'm worried, and I know you are too
But you're going to be fine,
I'll see you sometime
I'll think of you at night
You're gonna be alright
Think of me often
Work on yourself
Take this picture
And put it on your bedroom shelf
See what it could be
What you want it to be
See how happy you make me
This picture, the memory.
Breathe in, breathe out,
Fight off all the doubt
That I love you so much
I promise it won't be so bad.
I'll see you when you get back.
insomniatrical Nov 2018
I can not cleanse my eyes from all that I have seen
I can not erase all of the places that I have been
I will never live completely clean
And I am of the belief
That no amount of grief
Will take this obscenity from me,
The disgusting side of me that people see
When they hear me speak,
In truth, I am weak.
I am cold and I do tire
Of the events that must transpire.
Of the vibrations of the wire
That make my ears bleed
And my eyes burn with a hellish fire.
Nov 2018 · 75
For A Better Time
insomniatrical Nov 2018
In the meantime I'll be fine
I know we'll meet another time
In my dreams, I can see
That you're like the warm and dry
While I walk this stormy line
A path that's never free, a path only for me
Somewhere you may never go
A place that you will never know
A room where I am trapped
No idea where I am at
No idea how to stop feeling
When it's my heart that you're stealing,
We will meet again
When my heart can tell my mind we're over.
When my heart and mind collide
One is wrong, and one is right,
Can I look past the dark?
Can I see into the light?
Can I wait for a better time, a better life?
Nov 2018 · 70
Customer Service
insomniatrical Nov 2018
Always. Being referred to someone else.
What option do I have but to follow this wild goose chase for the sake of other people?
It isn't just me, and we aren't invalid just because we are small in number.
We matter too,
Or do you opt to forget that because we aren't a sports team?
Every year, we have been shoved into a corner of the room, even a different room.
When we aren't doing that, we are made to do the work of the class while they practice.
Do you think a little inclusion goes a long way?
That they, sharing the workload this year, would make us feel better?
There are times when we feel like dogs.
To be shoved aside and forgotten, summoned only when we're needed.
Winter is the time for lack of basic human respect.
Nov 2018 · 491
This Is A Disaster.
insomniatrical Nov 2018
You are stuck in my head, in my blood
To disintegrate with my antidepressants,
Course through my body like a bad dream,
Gone in the morning like a good dream.
I feel you like a ghost standing next to me,
Silent and impatient, I know you hate waiting.

But there's something about getting something well deserved
After all that time of waiting,
After all that time of wondering,
It feels so nice to get a taste of what you were patient for.

To sing a lovesick melody
Of hope and woe,
I'd never want to know
What it feels like to let you go.
I need a saviour from these feelings,
Is this what you wanted?
Be honest with me,
Are you afraid to let me go?

Do you remember all the songs we heard
And everything we watched
When we sat in your room
Wishing that the clock would stop,
Wishing that time would never move on?
We lived like a dream,
It was just you and me
To be stuck inside each other's minds
And then we lost it all.

So now you've been gone,
But you're coming my way.
I missed you, I missed you,
Never leave again
I can't face the day without you,
I don't want to doubt you,
But I am still afraid of waking up
From a dream that's gone on and on.
It's dragging, it's lagging,

But it's like a favorite book,
And there's that desire
To get to the fire at the end but
You know you will be sad when it ends
And you will tell all your friends about it,
You will gush,
You will blush,
You will rush to read the book again
And you will cry when the guy dies
Before he could tell the girl that he loved her.

So I suppose that after losing the point of this poem,
It's to say that I know you and what you will do.
Despite all of that, I still really love you.
Never lose sight of who you are,
And know that you will always have my heart.
Nov 2018 · 66
Letters To You
insomniatrical Nov 2018
I wish that you could fade out of my mind like smoke in the sky.
Its floats high above and never says goodbye
I won't miss it at all when it gets lost in the night.  
My memory of you could be gone like vapors in the air
Swirling up and up
Leaving me alone without a care.
You could have dissolved out like warm sugar water
Been gone like the granules
In a hot cup of tea
For me to consume and forget about
Just like you forgot about me.
Sep 2018 · 79
insomniatrical Sep 2018
I will be fine
I am alright.
Don't worry about me
Sweet dreams, good night
Sep 2018 · 87
Jail Scrubs
insomniatrical Sep 2018
Bright orange pumpkins
And the aura of fall.
Scarecrows and bonfires,
Now I hate them all.
Turning leaves and the breeze of new Autumn
Candy corn and treats
Are the sweets that are brought in.
I've started to hate fall and all of its colors.
The warm evening auburns
And soft carrot cakes
A bonfire's red-yellow
Is all that it takes.
To set me off screaming
In a wild hate.
It seems the color orange
Is the source of my rage.
Sep 2018 · 73
Loving Pains
insomniatrical Sep 2018
They told me that love would be beautiful
And that love would be kind.
But more and more these days I am surprised to find
That love is painful and love will ache
Love will not give as much as it takes.
I was accepting at first of this fate
But I have decided it will go my way.
I will make love, theoretically, my *****
I will make love as I sew every stitch,
I will draw lines of love one every page
I will love while I can with a furious rage
At the fact that this fate
And the fact that a mate
Should be decided for me
By a predetermined source
By a nonexistent force
According to the "way" that people go by
I refuse to never ask "why"
I refuse to sit like a calm, quiet sea
And love who is expected of me.
Never let them take you alive.
Aug 2018 · 73
Slow Drag
insomniatrical Aug 2018
Are you walking away for good this time?
Are you alright?
I don't want to care but I think I'm losing my mind
Without you
I guess it shouldn't matter though
Because the way you're acting makes it seem like we're through
I suppose if that's how you want it then I'll just walk away
But dont expect me to think of you every day
Even though I know I will
I won't tell you and I won't say
That I miss you even though I do
And I'll never tell you that I want you back even though I do
Because what's the point if you dont love me like I love you?
Aug 2018 · 84
Say Goodbye to September
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I can't take back
Words that I never said
I can't un-mutter
The syllables that I never uttered
And I can't tell you
That this silence isn't
Making me deaf
But you can't tell me
That you meant every word you spoke
When you said I was first on your mind
Every time that you woke
Aug 2018 · 109
Don't Forget Me
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I wish
That we could talk like we
Used to
But you do
Your own thing
And you don't think about me
Aug 2018 · 106
Da Haikus
insomniatrical Aug 2018
There is a place where
I go to clear my conscience
But I can not stay.
The winds will blow new
But the sky remains the same
Time and time again.
Aug 2018 · 73
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I feel like screaming out to everyone and the world that I am not who you think I am
I am trying so hard to be so much more but I feel like my attempts are so futile
What do I do?
I want to run and run and run but my lungs can't handle it
And I want to love and love and love but no one can act right
No one knows how to hold on to what they want, even if it means losing them for a little while
No one knows how to accept that you have to play the game to win even though you don't want to,
You feel like it's admitting defeat but if you win in the end, what's losing a few battles in the beginning?
What's giving up now if you can rise to power when you most need it?
What's backing down now when you'll know how to stand up later?
What's running if there is no walking?
What's love if there is no hatred?
What happiness if there is no anger?
What is empowerment if there is no helplessness??
Aug 2018 · 124
The Demon That Made Me
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I want to feel an emotion that's not there,
Some kind of empowerment like you'd hear in an indie song.
I want to feel like someone who can do anything,
I want to feel like I can fly
But there's only my lead feet holding me to the ground,
I won't ever reach the high blue.
And that's okay because some people are meant to stay where they are, right?
I'll never see those baby blues again and that's okay,
Because those baby blues turned into a dull gray,
Dominated by wide black traps
And all the colors of the sky cannot enter them.
I'll never hold those rough hands again but that's alright because they're meant to hold a burning pipe of thick, sweet smoke.
They're meant to work and grip and live a life never meant for them.
I'll never feel that warmth again because it's not there, is it?
It's been long replaced by a hatred for something that you could not control.
Where were we so many years ago?
This poem is a mess, and I apologise.
Aug 2018 · 140
Ah, Love
insomniatrical Aug 2018
Shove me away like you want to,
But if you do, don't be careful.
Push me out of your life like you're going to,
But if you do, leave me alone.
Ignore me and neglect me and leave me to my own,
Leave me to love you hopelessly,
Let me burn my own world down
Let me walk into my own trap
Leave me to cry all alone
Ah, love,
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Aug 2018 · 106
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I made a mistake,
An awful, terrible mistake.
I didn't think it through,
And now I'm full of hate.
For me, for you,
I don't know what to do.

I know that I was stupid,
I didn't quite think through it.
It was late at night,
I didn't think I'd do it.
And now I'm full of fright,
Because it wasn't right.

I made a stupid choice.
I should have used my voice.
I should have used my head,
I should have had some poise.
So now I feel a dread,
And all I see is red.
25 August 18
Aug 2018 · 80
Only A Call
insomniatrical Aug 2018
I remember the first time I called you
And I was so nervous.
I shouldn't have been, because it was only a call.

I remember being excited when you'd ring me
Because I loved talking to you.
Looking back, it was only a call.

I still call you now
And I know why you don't answer,
Because it's only a call.

You rang me to help,
And I would always pick up.
It wasn't anything special,
It was only a call.

And you'll dial my number again,
But I won't bother answering.
I know it won't be anything important,
It won't be special at all.
Because after all,
It's only a call.
Jun 2018 · 111
insomniatrical Jun 2018
I want it,
But now I'm on a leash.
I am stuck on a string
That only reaches so far.
I'm hanging from a rope
That's just above your head.
And although you say you can wait,
I know it will be hard.
I can't chase the voices away.
I can't hold you while you cry.
I can't take your face in my hands and look into your eyes and tell you to calm down.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I glued myself into where I am with industrial adhesive.
I tied a chain around myself and gave someone else the key to a lock made of the strongest steel on earth.
But I know one day I can break free.
And then we can be you and me.
Jun 2018 · 110
That's Okay.
insomniatrical Jun 2018
I know there will be a day when you realize you don't need me anymore.
I know you will grow and get stronger,
I know you can live without me.
I know the voices will go away and you won't need me to chase them away anymore.
And that's okay.
Jun 2018 · 120
Hey, Love
insomniatrical Jun 2018
Hey love
Write me a song
Tell me about when the hard times are gone
Sing me a lullaby about true love and being free
Whisper in my ear "I'll always love you, baby"
Call me your princess and call me your girl,
I want you to know that you'll always be my world.
So I should sing a song about you, about us
About everything we went through,
About every little lust,
About every fallen tear and about every little doubt
I love you no matter what,
I loved you before, I still love you now.
May 2018 · 153
And for a moment, bliss.
insomniatrical May 2018
And for a moment,
My quiet became a storm.
All I thought went from old to new.
And all I knew changed before me.

All I knew was that I wanted you,
All I know is that I still do.
May 2018 · 108
the truth.
insomniatrical May 2018
And although it hurt,
I didn't know everything.
Had I known just how bad,
I don't think I'd have been as sad.
Because I didn't know
That you needed me
That you missed me
That you were in pain
That you were abused
That you were used
That she would hurt you
And throw you off a car,
That she would refuse
To take you to the hospital
That you would have a scar on your side
That will be there for forever.
That she would shoot you up
And make you her slave
That you would cry all night
And even all day.
That she would say "I love you"
But you knew it wasn't the truth.
That your family would ask
"Do you remember me?"
And I would say I do
That you could go to rehab and then you'd be clean.
That you never even wanted to leave me
That she forced you to say goodbye
That you knew I would still be there
Without an explanation why.
That she'd scream and yell and hit you
At the mention of my name.
That someone thought they'd play you
Like they play a ******* game.
May 2018 · 173
Are You Hitting On Me?
insomniatrical May 2018
Are you hitting on me right now?
While we're stuck in here together.
Are you really gonna do that?
Are you hitting on me right now?
It's kinda funny,
I know you're joking.
But it's kinda funny,
Are you?
Don't you dare,
You're ridiculous and not funny.
May 2018 · 1.2k
insomniatrical May 2018
Last night you let go.
I guess you didn't know
How many people would cry
How many people would care
Enough to want to show you
To wonder why
Just why
You would choose to let go.
D.M. - 13 May 2018
May 2018 · 146
insomniatrical May 2018
Wish I could say I'm not,
Wish I could say I wasn't,
Wish I could say that it never had that effect on me,
But I'd be lying, wouldn't I?
I'm just an addict to you and everyone else,
If they only knew what it was like to be addicted to you.
May 2018 · 191
Bluetooth Headphones
insomniatrical May 2018
Cheap tattoo gun
"Will you be my canvas?"
Never your fault,
It's never your fault?
Always what's done and never what you do
I don't know if I want that tattoo.
What happened to your cars
Is that their fault as well?
Matching Grand Prix
Red, white, white, red
Two 'kickass' Nissan Maximas
And a five speed Dodge Neon that's falling apart.
What happens to plans when you cancel last minute,
How come it is that you never make time?
Work, work, work,
And then you're always late.
She told me to fix it or we couldn't date.
You need to be on time, is that too much to ask?
But whenever I do, I just feel like an ***.
I feel so terrible when I get upset
But I know I have the right and I know that I'm allowed.
I get so ******* when they complain that we're too loud
As if they have to listen
As If I really care.
As if they have no choice but to stay there.
The other day, he said you spanked me
But more of the time,
It just feels like you yank me
In different directions, so many directions,
Angry, sad, sadder, happy.
It feels like I don't know what to do and it feels like neither do you
It feels like we don't know each other, but am I lying to myself,
Do I only love the thought of you?
May 2018 · 143
I thought I knew
insomniatrical May 2018
You are estranged to me
And you are more a stranger now
Than you were before I knew you.
I can't touch you anymore,
Even though I am always reaching out,
And I am always trying to grasp and take a hold of you to catch you.
I have always wanted to catch you when you fall.  
I have always wanted to to hold you when you cry.
But I don't even know who you are anymore.
Everything I thought I knew,
Well I guess it was a lie.
Because I took a few steps into your life
And I thought we were okay.
I knew I loved you, I thought you loved me.
I thought that I was helping you,
At least, I hoped that I was helping.
I hoped that I could be there for you.
I hoped that I could get you through the hard times.
I thought it was possible.
I thought I knew you.
May 2018 · 126
Where Did She Go?
insomniatrical May 2018
I've got blood on my hands now
And I don't know who it's from.
I've spent so much time ripping heads off
But I tore out my heart,
What about you?
I'm so angry I never realized that you heart was torn out too.
It's really so weird,
Thinking that life goes on.
When you and my heartbeat were the only things that told me I was alive.
Where did everything go wrong?
And it makes me feel stuck, the fact that I'm so numb.
Shouldn't I feel more?
May 2018 · 128
Poe Boy
insomniatrical May 2018
He's a little Poe Boy - always a little off,
He's a little gruesome, always in his thoughts.
He's always so sad, overthinks more than he ought,
But he's a little Poe Boy - guess he wasn't what I sought.
insomniatrical May 2018
There's a sound I remember.
It came to me long ago, and it never went away.
It might be faint now, but I can still hear the sound drifting from the halls and into the door, throughout it and then to the lot where it was soft and comforting to me so many years ago.
It came through the air on a Tuesday night and while it was first a sign of passing time,
It soon became a bell that chimed to me my laughter and joy.
I would become excited at the sound which others thought noise,
A low sound that would crash like cymbals and a high sound that would whisper the names of all the people in it.
It would laugh with me and tell me the jokes of a twelve year old boy,
It would roll on the sidewalk like a skateboard and off my tongue like water on wax.
It was smooth and sweet and young, it was cluelessness and wonder,
And I never wanted it to go away.

But I left the sound once,
And when I returned it was in a different note,
It laughed a smaller laugh,
And it's previously boisterous self was a shadow
Of everything it could have been,
This could have been something beautiful, I'm sure. But I'm not in a state to finish it. I thought I could, but I lost whatever creative flow I was feeling when I began it. And now, I can only wish for that sound to come back as I wonder what I should say next... Maybe goodbye?
May 2018 · 81
insomniatrical May 2018
I guess it slipped my mind
That you had forgotten to remember me.
May 2018 · 84
Oh Buoy
insomniatrical May 2018
I wanted the river, you wanted the sea.
I guess I got so carried away by the waves
That I couldn't see you drifting away from me.
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