I could chug a ciggarette
Or I could chew some gum instead

I could keep reaching for the blade
Or I could just reach for the color pencils instead

I could gulp down a Heineken
Or I could settle for green tea instead

I could roll some ****
Or I could just paint a scenery instead

They say we're all addicted to something
That takes the pain away

I say otherwise.

We're all addicted to something
Just because we long for temporary satisfaction
We're all addicted to something
Just because we think it heals
We're all addicted to something
Just because, we made a choice

You don't sit there and say
" It's the only escape I have "
Because no, it's not
You make a choice

And that choice you make,
*It defines who you are.

Let me kiss lips that are like ember
Let them smother me like smoke
Let them fill me like air

Let me wrap my arms around you like a ribbon
Let them hold you like clouds
Let them bind you like string

Let me love you like infinite stars
Let it intertwine us like lace
Let it shower us like pouring rain

we talk
and fight,
kiss and make up.
we hold fast to
the hurt
we cause ourselves
and it piles on
like raked leaves
on an autumn
day. the colors
swirl in patterns,
and sometimes
we see golden
yellow, like the hair
that streams down
my back.
sometimes we see orange,
a sunset streaking
through your black curls.
but mostly,
we see red.

if our words had
a color, it would be
red. the garnet
colored phrases cut deep
and make us believe
we are better off
alone.
but sometimes...
your ice eyes
meet mine and
i freeze
and just look
at you.

and it's in these
moments
that i realize
you are all
the colors,
every day and all
the time, and that
if i were alone,
i would be gray

you loved me
like the way
the sun
loved the earth

you radiated upon me
giving me
a love
i could barely recognize

but then;

your words
filled with deceit
brought waters
i have never seen before

i have come to
realize
what face lies
behind your lies

the waves
know your
deceitful secret
and keep it well

the waves begins
to fill my body
how could one
endure an agony like this?

the waves
in my mind
have thickened
at the thought of you

water fills my lungs
i gasp for each breath
i begin to suffocate
waiting on death's bed

i begin to sink downward
in a effortless spiral
my body is now calm
just like when you left me

my breathing has slowed
just like our recent lack of communication
im must be on a sedation

my corpse has become lifeless
beginning to shut down
piece by piece
the water is a sinful poison

flooded thoughts
run rampart through my soul
scrambled images
i can barely see

screams
after screams
break my thoughts
of you

i will myself
to sneak just
a tiny glimpse of you
a small bit of euphoria left

it begins
to bring an unceasing pain
that my body cannot handle

i start to perish
but;
i can't seem to let go of you
just like you said i would

(b.d.s.)

Your lips,
Appearing sugar coated,
Once tasted
We're revealed to be
Dusted with arsenic

Broken angel wings, burning in the sky.
Little angel don’t you cry,
though your wings will never fly.
Broken body hits the ground.
Not a whimper, not a sound.
Clouds gather, gray and dull.
Their rain is like a breathless lull.
You’ve fallen now, your grace you’ve lost.
You fell in love, you paid the cost.
For love, you said, I’ll give my grace!
The tears are streaming down your face.
But you will live, safe from harm,
a human life, in the embrace of
loving human arms.

My heart goes prestissimo!
As thoughts swirl round my mind.
This weary soul seeks you.
In which abode will I find?

   A lustful sight  – you naked before my eyes.
   Flesh wrapped in skin  – yours against mine.
   Lie down my love;
   Let us dine.

As I gently push my lips against thine
ears and whisper:

   You are my Aphrodite...
     Take me to ecstatic heights.

   Let me kiss you endlessly...
    Soft.
       Hard.
          But each passionately.

   Let me hide in your warmth...
     Till I reach your soul.
         Till I feel its glow.
     Till this fantasy fall.
  **Till my reality calls.

I never wanted nature
to represent hope
or the Sun or the Moon
to become my home
I never wanted the stars
that fill the night sky
to interrupt my empty thoughts
as I sat idilly by
I never wanted humanity
to slip beneath my skin
or the birds in the trees
to remind me
that I too, could fly
if I only had wings
I never wanted to pass
the couple on the street
and see their linked hands
and just understand
that's always never going
to be me
I never wanted to shout out
with another's smoke scratched
voice
but apparently
it's not a
choice