It was the heavy breathing
I think
that I liked the most
our mouths made no movement
as our faces dried
and sternums rocked
planted kisses in a chalk line
wet florettes on my chest
pretended to worry
about potential marks on my neck
such gentle
aggressive manners
heart rate raised
resulted in the breathing

I dont want you to write me poetry
I can do that for both of us

I dont want you to compare my eyes to sunset
Or, my mind to some sea of undiscovered depth
I just want you to see me for who im-
Dully ordinary in all my deeds

I dont want you to be breathtakingly handsome
We could be too cute for two ugly people

I dont want you to speak all those fancy big words
And get me a bouqet of rose every night
Just be there with me, be my light, when all i see is in shades of blacknwhite
And on the brightest day, tolerate my lights if i outshine you

I don't want you to understand each action of mine; to decode every word
Just promise not to give up on trying; never give up on me

I dont want you to fix me
Just be patient with me while i glue back all that is left from my last heartbreak
I might run in opp. Direction at your approach
But ill always find my way back to you

I don't want you to give me forevers and mouthful of nevers
Time is a ****, as we both know*

If you can and if you may,
Just love me in this very moment
Cause forever is nothing but all these moments stitched together

I dont't want you to tell me you love me
But please, just do love me

She wore flowers in her hair
And anger in her eyes
Had a strong hate for her father
And thought birthdays were stupid

He memorized every notch in her spine
And made a home for himself in the gaps between her fingers
Playing dot-to-dot with her freckles,
Became his new favorite hobby

Tattoos adorned his arms
Expressing himself in ways words never could, for ink could not stutter
He smoked too many cigarettes, and gazed at her through hooded eyes
The kind that could only be found in the depths of the alleyways you avoided

She looked at him as if he had hand selected the stars,
And was responsible for the moon
Right next to her love for the Rolling Stones, he was there
Swimming through her bloodstream

He had deceived himself into believing he did not love her
For she was his Abigail Williams
And she always said,
"God damns all liars"

You could not help but fall for her
Despite warnings from every cell of your brain
You could not contain
Your curiosity
How could someone be
Different shades of different emotions
At the same time
How could someone go
From being the blazing sun
To a violent storm
In the blink of an eye
And that was the trouble with her
You could not tell the next thing she does
And there were many with a prettier face than her
And a few with soul more tender
But none that could stir
A single emotion
While
One look from her
Caused ripples in your soul
The longing she developed
Became insatiable
Cause she was not the caresses and soft kisses sort
She would make sure you meant
Every compliment you uttered
Before she accepted them
She would ask why
You loved her
Instead of saying I love you too
She was never just simply pretty
You know the kind you put on your shelves
For a show
She was not just one element
but the whole package
Something you had never witnessed before
She had fire
Her  feelings weaved silent poetry
All around her
And everyone who saw her could see that
Everyone but herself
Her thoughts were too loud
-loud enough to make the deaf-toned world hear them
She was reckless personified
Descending towards nothing
And you would gladly go down with her
If it only gave you  few more moments to have her look into your eyes
Black eyes
Not seeing at you
But through you
Making you unravel yourself
She could not be bound to a place
She was the wind
that ruffles your hair
caresses your skin
and sweeps your tears off your cheeks
and fly away
just like that
leaving you fixated
on that spot
waiting for her to hit you again
but she is already gone
You never wanted to love her
Yet here you are
Loving her anyway.

Emotions are one, that we can hide
Deep inside, there's always a fight
Between 'me' and 'myself'
For the emergence, outside

Emotions are, none other than
The expressions, of psychology
That flows for the whole time span
Continuously transforming, a (wo)man

Emotions are and aren't, good
Depends upon, exclusive you
Positivity, never always stood
Negativity, can be channelized for good


|AB|

bruised knees and bandaids
your mom is no longer your best friend, she'll scream words that burn your ears
she won't read you fairy tales before you fall asleep at night
CD's and ballet
school buses, new folders and the boy next door named Tyler
he'll want you for your body, he'll spread rumors throughout the school
you'll only want it to go away
girls you share laughter with and teachers you idolize
everything becomes different
the only thing you'll share with those girls is a pack of cigarettes and the stories you hear in the hallway
gummy bears and juice boxes have turned into prescription medicine and shots of *****
just wishing for one good day
your special blankie and your favorite hair bow
hidden in a closet behind the new skirt your dad doesn't like you wearing
disney movies, popcorn made on the stove and your whole family smooshed onto one couch on a friday night
those friday nights turn into another day of choking back cheap alcohol and ignoring your grandmother's emails