Sheltering in a lacuna
You breathe in
What are you thinking?
As my mind wanders onto a random memory
That suddenly becomes
Immortal.

At what point did you
Lovingly
Decide to turn my thought into
A jewel beset
in an imperfect storm?

And what of the flutter in my heart
Past a white night
That danced to the music of the irascible one
Marking the ceremony
That etched my skin?

Measure and will
Do bow to angels teeming a stage
Wondering
Am I here?
Am I gone?
Will there be?

I hide my lacerating dreams
maps form then fall.
Little fingers tangle neurons
tugging at timid gazes and lore.

I plant thorns on your mouth
pretend it to be a rose .
Your shadow passes
a neophyte’s ashes blowing in the wind.

I build a pyre for each encounter
stripping my body fictitious sins.
I turn my back to the heat
a stranger devouring her soul.

Invisible now, I step out
consecrated tombs stand where I once stood.
I stare at prophetic torture fields
and listen to the howling of memory.

I scatter words to thaw out the void
love letters inscribed in blood.
They settle on a crater or two
A still born silence and frozen sap.

But cascading noise drown these verses
made from doubt in silk threads.
Lean sentences gone terribly wrong
On the beaten road to hell.

I circle around the halo
That stirs what lies below.
Spinning now
Only excess
materialises in belief form.
What is it about the chimera you construct
For those that don’t exist?
Gasping and grasping on
Slivers from a murdered past
You insist on perfecting gems in souls
Where there are none.
Let it rest my friend … or not
For the fury of Zenobia
Is still lighting
What remains of your life
And mine.

Grant it
You stepped in
through a crack
like an assassin.

And yes
your prying eye
did establish how far
you could reach
inside.

Little did you know
Though
that the lady you made out of me
can see in the dark.

"Gullible"
"Bully"
"Risky"
"Courageous"

Red flags you waved before me
for your colourful entertainment
Pillars for my temple
And swords for my angels.

Surging towards knowledge
Not its shattering
I obeyed excavated wishes.
And so you make peace with
Your fury holding
A mirror as shield.
There,
Truth or logic
Debris that remain
Or lessons never learnt:
Never to foretell
Never to tell
Never again.

Murmurs on pillow
throbbing at temples
made of steel
by now.

Hear me out
I said
holding signs
visible to me
and to me
alone.

But silence
is a temptation I can’t resist
as the body trembles
at full throttle
to the beats of innocence

or is it
cognitive dissonance?