i fell for an impossible heartbeat
i could never feel.
spat into a well of despair
to give it a piece of me.

eventually
i got tired of crying
of bleeding
of caring
of dripping
with desperation.
love me love me love me love me
emanating from my skin.

i will not be someone
with so much feeling
that i am numb.
that i go through the day
afraid
of how crumbled i've become.

so i took a pen and wrote
until the ink
carved you out of my heart
and i felt the
dam rise
and the flooding stop
and the pain trickle away.

oh how wonderful it is to be free.
spilling dreams on
a lined page
and hopes
onto someone new
someone
who isn't you.

don't get me wrong,
i care about you.
you're still my baby blue ford
in a way.
you are still a green light
shining in the distance.

but now, it's daytime here.
and the sun shines brighter here,
so your light
isn't so grand anymore,
you know?

i.
moments are ephemeral
so i hold on tightly
to the closeness of you.
our arms linked together,
you keep bumping into me
and i keep colliding into
you.
it's as if we are stars,
and we make our own
little boom
in this sky.

we're almost a firework, honey.
we're almost-

ii.
hey.
long haired sweetheart,
golden boy of no where,
your halo is skewed,
but i bet you'd taste like lights.
you're the brightest
type of shine.
sure, you glow in the dark,
but you're glowing in the light too.
and they say,
you're brighter with me,
they say you are
just as smitten
as i am.

maybe we can make this work, honey.
maybe we can-

iii.
what if i was to paint you in indigo,
sew patches of
a blank night sky
onto your dimples,
and hang stars from your
butterfly lashes?
would you
let me sit on your lap like
it's a throne,
make me your
queen,
so that i can say i've made
the human form of night time
my lover.
king of hearts, conqueror of the day.

we hold on, because it heals our tired hurt, honey.
we hold on-

he's another galaxy of stars
that puts the sun
to shame.
it whispers its praise.
and i
am brought
down to my knees.

he was not a mistake.

he was
more like
a happy accident,

for he taught me
how to
love
again.