i used to love being alone
until i tasted you

being with you was like a drug that i just couldn’t get enough of
your breath filled my lungs with toxic smoke
an exhilarating rush with each hit
i became high off your scent
and drunk off the poison from your lips
your touch showered me in chemical intoxication
so strong that i forgot what it felt like to be sober

i was utterly helpless within your grasp
but, for once, i liked the feeling of letting go
i never realized how much my soul craved your presence
until it was time to give you up
but by then, the withdrawals had already kicked in

forgetting you meant that i had to cough out my own lungs
choking on the remnants of your breath
you had constricted my throat so tightly that i couldn't fathom breathing on my own
i forced my stomach to lurch and convulse in desperate attempts to rid my body of any trace of you
but in the process
i lost some of myself too

in the aftermath, there was nothing left but hollow ruins
my delicate body now wrecked with scars
leaving my entire being sore
trembling, and weak
so to heal the pain
i come back
because the drug was irresistible
i forget about the force it took to evict you from my lungs
because it’s easier to get lost in those dark abysmal eyes
eyes that swallowed me whole
and the softness of your touch was enough
to numb my aching body

but you'll never know what it feels like
because you’ve taken so many hits now, that you're immune to the highs
to you, I was simply one more drink to pass the time


x.

you wake up
his hair is spilled across the pillow,
the sun slants across his cheekbone
and his breath is slow and even.
he smells like an open field
and his body is wrapped around yours
so he keeps you warm.
you think,
there is no moment better than this,
that he is too perfect to exist.
but you wake up gasping,
skin soaked in sweat.
you lie there for a long time,
in your completely empty bed.

it lingers
amongst the pillow
the roses you left on the vase
it lingers
in the air I breath
on my closet
the scent of you
it lingers everywhere
leaving me yearn for you

you taste like the fizzy sodas,
watermelons in summer,
the afternoons i spend daydreaming,
clear skies inside milk cartoons.
we meet in between the lines,
touch sparks like fireworks
and heat melting off our walls,
we're two lines crisscrossed
into several points,
constellations and corners.
first kisses,
shy touches,
getting to know.
you taste like the strawberry lip balm
you put on before dinner,
bucketfuls of cotton candy,
midnights that sound like gentle waves,
middays that promise fondness.
let me catch your bottom tier
between both of mine,
catch your hand under the table,
catch you when you fall.
i am no traveller or adventurer,
but i'd be eager to map out
your every nooks and crannies.
fill in your edges as you caress my curves,
finish where you start and
end when you begin,
meet you every time i dream
of the cloudless nights and the stars
above your rooftop, inside your eyes.
i am not big on promises
but set again another date,
let's do this again
and i won't be late.

your breath is hot on my shoulders
heavy
with pomegranate juice
purple drops of condensation on my skin

your face
drips of rosewater
tears never salty
or reminiscent of the sea

always sweet
always of spring

i was the roses he stopped to smell
red with potential
pure and young
his fingers caressed their ****** petals

i was the ocean he walked along
feeling the cool surf
i washed away his footsteps
beautiful and blue he said

i was his princess
regal and soft
i slept in his arms
dreaming of him

i was his morning
beginning his day
sweet brown coffee
only for him

his love for roses wilted
blue turned grey
my crown taken
sweetness lost

abandoned me

now im someone else's garden
and my beaches treasured
no-longer a princess but queen
mornings lovely and sweet

it's soaring through flaming green hills
your heart races with the curiosity of discovery
it's dancing on a secluded mountaintop
with the drunken energy of a motorino zipping.
it's the endless time spent laughing
lips tingling with wine and philosophy
furiously awaiting l'autobus
and saying basta to the pasta.
the hazelnut aroma of hot cappuccini,
and suddenly you have the bravery
to get lost alle tre in Trestevere.
it's watching sunrays part mountains and Corinthian columns
and sparkling on salty waters
and you inch toward the edges of cliffs
just to catch a glimpse.
it's the comfort of friends and Nutella
when Ryanair lands and Rome becomes Home
and life, and death, and carbs follow you.
it's the homeless and the hungry
sleeping in the strong arms of St. Peter
and disappointment and shame
consumes you.
it's sobbing when you are alone,
foreign, and strange
and sobbing when it's time to say
arrivederci
it's when you fall, your stupid heel caught between cobblestones
that you realize you're in love.