i used to love being alone
until i tasted you

being with you was like a drug that i just couldn’t get enough of
your breath filled my lungs with toxic smoke
an exhilarating rush with each hit
i became high off your scent
and drunk off the poison from your lips
your touch showered me in chemical intoxication
so strong that i forgot what it felt like to be sober

i was utterly helpless within your grasp
but, for once, i liked the feeling of letting go
i never realized how much my soul craved your presence
until it was time to give you up
but by then, the withdrawals had already kicked in

forgetting you meant that i had to cough out my own lungs
choking on the remnants of your breath
you had constricted my throat so tightly that i couldn't fathom breathing on my own
i forced my stomach to lurch and convulse in desperate attempts to rid my body of any trace of you
but in the process
i lost some of myself too

in the aftermath, there was nothing left but hollow ruins
my delicate body now wrecked with scars
leaving my entire being sore
trembling, and weak
so to heal the pain
i come back
because the drug was irresistible
i forget about the force it took to evict you from my lungs
because it’s easier to get lost in those dark abysmal eyes
eyes that swallowed me whole
and the softness of your touch was enough
to numb my aching body

but you'll never know what it feels like
because you’ve taken so many hits now, that you're immune to the highs
to you, I was simply one more drink to pass the time


x.