She's cute
She has purple hair
She bought a Jesus pen
For some reason
Can't wait to see it
She likes bands
Bands that I actually know
She compliments me
Even though I'm ugly
And she's a witch
Who speaks Spanish

****
I'm sick
And you're with her
And I'm with me
He moved
Or maybe I did
I'm not quite sure
What Spanish has to do with this
Lost in thoughts
Half dream
Half reality
Doing my best
Not to obsess or
Fall apart
In my tiny corner
Wiping my nose
Roaming the halls
In my mind
Desperate for anything
But especially you

It's truly a bit
Ridiculous
That I still miss him
So long gone
Might as well be dead
In a hospital bed
But I hope to God
In whom I have no faith
That he'll call me someday
And everything
Will be okay

I hate you when you're laughing
Because you're not laughing
With me
That isn't fair
Life isn't fair
That's why you're
Over there and
Not looking at me
Jealousy
Is disgusting
And I'm full of it
I guess it's best
That I stink alone
And forget about the good times
Picking out music
Awkward compliments
Smiling through
A water glass
Nothing lasts
I'm hyper-dramatic

I’ve always wondered...
Where did the little Lilah go?
I’m so different
She was outgoing and extroverted,
And I am shy and unsocial
But... I’ve finally realized
That we are the same
I am me
13 years ago or not
I’ve just changed
And I hope it has been for the better
Because I can’t really go back and change it...
Right?

I’m not saying
That I’m jealous
I just wish
You would look at me
Like you look at her
The way you laugh
And show her your art
And make jokes
That aren’t really fun
That evoke her
Laughter
I would do anything
For that to be me
Sitting side by side
Writing in class
With her looking on
Definitely not jealous

the light in people’s eyes
who have dealt with loneliness
glows brighter than others
because they have had to find
conversations within looking
up at the moon