I bet your beds comfy,
I imagine it smells of flowers and vanilla,
Or just the smell of clean,
And you have pillows,
Big soft voluptuous pillows,
And sheets,
Clean sheets.
I could sleep forever in a bed like that,
Literally forever,
And I bet you don’t even think about it,
Because it’s just a bed to you,
And it is,
Id probably cry if I could climb into like that everyday,
I’d cry if I could climb in for one day,
An hour or two,
The comfort would be amazing but -,
probably too comfortable for someone like me,
I’m used to the cardboard thats under me,
And Im quite attached to the bag that I sleep in,
Even the smell settles me,
And trust me when I tell you -
It’s not flowers or vanilla !
The noises of the night are my lullabies,
And the crisp cut of the cold keeps me alert,
Keeps me safe,
You probably wouldn’t understand,
But I’m glad of that,
A bed would be nice,
The comfort would be nicer,
But it’s the home that it’s in that makes it special,
A comfy bed - that’s safe, in a house,
A home,
Secure,
Free from the fear of a random threat,
That’s why you can sleep so well in your comfy bed,
Because your safe,
Because your free to sleep,
Where as my sleep can cost me dearly,
If I fall asleep I can lose the little that I have,
Even the shoes off my feet,
If I fall asleep I could be woken with a kick or a punch,
If I fall asleep,
I might not wake up at all,
So your bed is comfy and would be nice,
But it’s the fact you can sleep freely which is special,
So treasure your bed,
Enjoy your sleep,
And be thankful for your freedom.
I’m not jealous ,
I wouldn’t wish my situation on anyone,
I don’t even wish it on myself but I accept it,
If I fought it I wouldn’t be here now.
All I ask is that -
Next time you see a homeless person,
Remember a little kindness goes along way.
Life’s a funny ****** -
There was a time when I had a comfy bed,
In a nice loving house,
There was a time when I would look at the homeless I passed in the street,
Never once imagining that the cardboard mattress next to them was reserved for me
So sleep well good people,
Treasure what yo have because time is fleeting,
Good fortune is a gift,
When you climb into your bed tonight,
Stop for a second to appreciate it,
Just ..... appreciate it for me,
Because I can’t.
Not right now anyway,
But hey -
It is what it is.

We are more concerned with goods than goodness.

Copyright 2019 Tod Howard Hawks

Startling though love is
Coming in the back door
When we know so little
Tied our hands together
On a pink collared shirt
Round a neck went arms
To take that first sweet kiss.

Love Mary

Like tea leaves in
a *** of tea
she submerges me to
breathe in heat and
change the beat,

coffee anyone?
said no one in that state

she'll wait, because
to compensate is human
to dither is divine.

Seeing better from a distance,
  than you ever could up close

The memories play like children,
   in voices that you spoke

The truth is where you find it,
   every season, every turn

Where space becomes entitled
  —your soul to file or to burn

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

Heres a fun puzzle for those who like writing lyrics or like adding layers to yoru poetry.... all musicians do this... Example.. Use the song Another Brick in The Wall by pink Floyd as a starting point... We don't need NO(Nyctophobia) education, we don't need no thought control (photo, tvs), no dark sarcasm in the classroom (catoptro, [cain and abel, the domestication of cats and dogs, hunter gatherers, farming), teacher leave those kids ALONe(ankylo… Lust Envy Greed)…. and align pairs or triplets of heavier phobias with pairs of more subconscious fears, like light (or waking up and the psychology behind that){random example, nycto, mono, auto, photo catoptro} and align each group of 5 with one of the 7 deadly sins (its 8, hubris and vein glory are split into their own group, its a trick) and get secret messages from them such as (A-gate) etc or from anagrams within each set of 5 till you learn what influences each of the 7 deadly sins.. like hubris is partially a creation of limit testing... envy is a product of identifications and dissociations (vein glory is split into one of its own because its origin is your ******* stage or when you realize your ***)…. or you can do it to Come Together by the Beatles and align the groups together to get messages from your 5 stages of your libido.... Oral, ****, *******, Latent, and Genital as well as aligning them with the 4 levels of dreams..... Condensation, Displacement, Visualization, and Symbolism and look for secret messages.... then after you get messages or instructions with the the anagrams on each level look for directions to draw and use the letters to create images, some of them are interesting