Grey eyes
Gray hair
Lost in her hopeless sea of despair.

Floating from day to day
like smoke
leaving from the lit cigarette
upon her lips.

Grey sweater
Gray shoes
She has no friend that isn't a bottle of *****.

Night to night
she sees no light.
Lost in the fog
that covers her eyes.

Grey face
Gray hands
left to the dirt in no man's land.

year after year
she gets closer to their fear
of becoming the grim reaper's dear.

Grey heart
Gray soul
she's spiraling out of control.

Jumping off cliffs
and biting their chapped lips
she's on the road to her death.

I am not feeling well does not just mean the temperature you see on that thermometer,
it also means my body and it's burning desire to no longer be alive
I am not feeling well does not just mean my head feels heavy and I want to sleep,
it also means my heart is sinking to my feet and i physically feel it in my veins
I am not feeling well does not just mean I need a painkiller to take away the pain,
it also means i am dying to reach for the blade and tear my skin apart to feel something
I am not feeling well does not just mean the food I ate is making me feel like throwing up,
it also means my entire existence makes me sick to the point of death
I am not feeling well does not just mean I will feel better after I take this nap,
it also means i will take nap after nap after nap after nap hoping to feel alive again
I am not feeling well does not just mean my joints hurt and I need to slow down
it also means my body is tired of fighting a losing battle and i give up

because some days,
i wear my depression and
some days,
*my depression wears me

he walks among the clouds
soft pinks and off whites surround
his glowing form
he is an angel sent from above
his eyes give hope
and his arms, a safe haven.
He is the sun, the moon and the stars.
A being from another world.
a beautiful savior of many,
he gives second chances
and new found life for many.
An angel is he
and my love he has.

I stand on the edge,
teetering between existing
and becoming a long lost memory.
Then,
I fall.

The darkness,
it engulfs me.
The deeper I get,
The more I forget.
I forget all the bad memories.
I forget all the bad people.
I forget me.

I forget how much I am truly ruined.
How I can't go a day
without thinking of him,
the man in black who waits.
for me.
with open arms and a wide smile.

I think I've finally joined him
and he's making me forget.
Oh, how I've fallen into his trap.
I love him.
He helps me to not feel.
Other people should know him too,
know this sweet release.

I'll get them to come.
He can teach me.

I will wear black
and beckon others into this trap
with a sweet smile
that is poison.

nothing but black and his smile.
I am truly nothing now,
completely dissolved.
into him.