she wished to be an enigma
a brilliant universe against the gray of everything else in the world.
she wanted to be the person people want to know,
she wanted to be the mystery that would only be solved by one.
she wanted to be the rarest beauty of the planet.
but instead she got stuck.
stuck with nothing to shine,
stuck with herself.
she couldn’t figure out how to illuminate herself,
so she faded.
slowly and slowly giving up on everything she dreamed of.
until she was just another piece in their gray background.
tired of fighting to be seen by them.*
-------------------
he watched her from the moment he saw her,
he thought she was the most beautiful being of the whole of existence.
he was drawn to her,
no matter what she did or where she went.
he wanted to know her,
he wanted to solve her mystery.
but he was scared he wasn’t enough.
he was scared that he was too gray
to be intertwined with her bursts of color.
and as she faded,
so did he.
till his was merely a spec,
of nothing.
tired of fighting himself to be seen by her.

I drew her with the moon beaming of her rosy cheeks,
Painted her on the canvas with angelic wings,
Surrounded her in a river  of rose petals,
And the watercolour illuminating her flawless complexion.
I made her shine, ten times brighter than I saw,
Because in my eyes she was the light keeping me lit.

..........**

She drew me as a stickman...
No clear features or qualities,
Border lining obscenely mundane.
She drew me as a ******* stickman.

waking up
just to be closer to death.
every breath
just to taste the sweet embrace of cold paper skin.
every sin
just to have the opportunity to skim the surface of hell.
every stay in a ****** motel
just to make friends with the devil again.
waking up
just to die in the end.