tie me down
crowing about a crown of flowers
curl my palm into the hollow of your cheek
(oh my god drown me)
and here we have the soldier
hands covered in blood and knives (and something
else;but
we don't talk about that)
look how the blind man cries tonight
see these bones on the grass
frost building in the cavity between your ribs and
your skin
SCREAMING ****** IN THE HALLWAY
(THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN HEAR YOURSELF
THINK
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY ANYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE)
you, love, you, goldfinch
climbing windowsills
creep in the dead of night, cicatrix spiderwebs
here, here, here, in the small of your back
(can you feel me, here, crawling into your skin?can
you feel me sewing our palms together, goldfinch?)
"and the world will revel in wonder and delight--"

I am not good.
I am not good
at this thing
- we call it Life.

I wish I could
stop dreaming
this big.
But I shall not.

I wish I could
explore the souls
of all who exist(ed).
But I can not.

I wish I could
make you out
of clay and feathers.
But I will not.

For I am a dreamer of impossibilities.
and I am merely one natural girl.
For you are one of my improbabilities,
and there you are
- my untainted pearl;
my gift from an invaded world.

So, I may not be good,
but I feel that is better.

Cold hands
Shaking lips
Burning eyes
Stinging cheeks
I'm haunted by
Your memory
And I have lost
My sanity
And in everything
I think I see
You

How am I supposed to start a new year without you