I’m so, so, so, sorry.*
I tried.
I tried to save them.
But once they had their minds made up….
It was like trying to change someone’s mind
Once they were already in a freefall.
Who says we live and we learn like it’s a fact of life?
If it was a fact of life, they’d still be here.
Don’t you dare try to give me that *******.
It is true, however, the phrase *life isn’t fair.
No, it’s not.
How is it fair that they’re both dead and I’m still here?
How is it fair that I was the last person they spoke to?
How is it fair that each of their dying wishes was for me to save the other?
How is that fair, tell me!
I once told him it’s okay not to know everything,
But this is ridiculous!
I just don’t know anymore.
I just don’t know.
Neither did they.
And look where they are.

I fell for it
I fell for you again
I didn't want to
I knew I shouldn't
But I couldn't resist you
As always
Why am I so weak
To fall for the words
I know aren't anything
Not worth my time
My energy
I deleted eighty percent
Of whatever happened
From my drunken brain
My phone
But I remember
I wished you a
"Mediocre New Year"
And with your responses
I was entrapped
Ensnared
And clothes came off
Prematurely with our words
And I kept telling you
"You're a bad idea"
You wanted pictures
I'm glad my friends
Didn't let me send
Because I want love
And you want lust
Last night
I think I pretended
I wanted it too
But I don't
"I shouldn't want you"

I love my hands, I don't really know why, but other than my eyes they're the only part of my body I'm mostly okay with

Sunrise on the beach is my favorite everyday natural phenomenon

I can't stand public displays of (physical) affection, but I'm crazy affectionate

If I didn't belong to a conservative family I would look a lot different in appearance

I drink my coffee black but I prefer tea with milk and sugar

I'm bad at talking about myself, so I suppose this is done

I feel like I am ruining a moment,
witnessing something I should not see.
I feel like an ink stain,
disrupting the story you have composed together.
I don't know what to do,
do I leave you alone,
do I stay or
do I go...

You gave me your jacket on a cold day
When you saw how I was shivering and miserable
"Take this"
And you smiled as you handed me your dark grey jacket

I wore it
And instantly felt the warmth
Not only from the jacket
But from the kindness you showed someone like me

I still have the jacket
Lying to you saying, "I left it at home again"
You still tell me that it's okay for me to keep it
And I dunno why but I always tell you that I'll bring it the next time

I guess I still want to keep the jacket
I wear it when I feel lonely or sad
But also want your scent on it again
The smell of you and your favourite deodorant... it comforts me for some reason

I'm giving it back to you tomorrow
So you can wear it again
And then I'll find a way to trick you
Into giving it back to me