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Psychologists say that you can only have a "crush" on someone for four
months, and after that you are considered "in love".

Can I really be in love with someone who I have:

NEVER felt his hand entwined with mine to see how they fit

NEVER leaned my head on his shoulder when I am feeling upset

NEVER been able to express the feelings that I have for him... because  I am forced to suppress them

NEVER have I been able to hear his affection towards me...because it is not there

NEVER felt his lips being gently pressed on mine

NEVER felt that intense moment when he looks at me and I can feel his loving gaze upon me

NEVER have I been able to feel his hand around my waist,gently pulling me closer, the feeling that he would NEVER wanted to let me go

NEVER

So, how can I be in love with you if we NEVER were.
Yes,
I am happy.
For the first time
in a long, long while.
I read her words,
they make me smile,
every **** time,
I can't resist her,
even if I tried.
And I remember
how down I was
the last time,
the time before,
and the time before that.
But I found
how happiness is easy.
Just doing things
I want to do,
the way I want
to do them.
When I wake up,
I know this time,
I have found my sun,
and she shines just for me.
Sorry, this is not a great poem, just wanted to scream out the things I feel inside.
Feeling so emotional, but yet stone faced
why?
Because as soon as I show my emotions all of my nightmares will become a reality.
I will be alone, and she will gone from me forever
My childhood fear brought to a reality.
I feel like you're mad at me
But you know
You know how I am
You know that I'm in a fractured state of mind
You know that I don't remember what I say late at night
you know that I have to delete our conversations because my phone is stupid
You know that I can't accept myself
You know that I need someone patient to calm me down
You know that I'm hard to fight
You know that I've been ****** up for the past 11 years
You know that I'm constantly terrified of everything
You know that I am most afraid of being left alone
You know how I am
And I feel like you're mad at me
I don't really remember what I said, but clearly I made you mad at me. I wish you'd just talk to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're all I have right now, please. I feel like everyone else is gone. I just want someone who cares. I just want a friend. Please... text, call, email... I'm sorry I'm the neediest person ever. I'm sorry I'm ****** up and hate myself, I just don't know how to do anything else. I'm sorry I told you about the lists and now you think I'm a worthless idiot. I'm sorry I never had the nerve to properly chase you -- not that you ever wanted me, even though there was a time I thought you might. Please talk to me. Please. I'm freaking out even though I have no right to. I'm sorry that I can't just leave you alone, because I know that'd probably be easier for you. I'm sorry I'm broken. I'm sorry I cry so much lately... the girl who never cried. I just want us to be better friends. Tell me what you want, anything, name it, even if it's for me to go away. Outright say it and I will. I'm sorry I always want too much of you. I'm sorry you hate me now. I'm sorry, I really am.
- - -
Sorry the note's long.
There's a ringing, ringing in my ears,
You can't hear it, the people don't hear it.
I draw rings, the ringing in my ears.
Dark circles appear under my eyes;
I am so tired from doing nothing.
The lights flash and we don't blink,
Forces clash and we don't blink.
I can't hear what you're not saying,
What you're not praying, proclaiming,
For there's a ringing within my ears.
It drowns out the stars,
It drowns out all fright for
I am so tired from doing nothing.
Peace and retreat drive me mad;
Retreat is not peace, it is pieces.
There's a ringing, ringing in my ears,
You can't hear it, the people don't hear it...
Yet another example of how I don't pay attention during lectures.
...I'm tired of the seemingly unanimous refusal to fight.
- - -
I'm tired of talking about marriage, on a completely unrelated note.
 Jan 2015 Girl On The Wing
Steele
I don't know what you think of the word "wicked";
but where I come from it's a funny thing. It doesn't mean evil or sad.
We say "That's wicked cool." It's meaning rings the same as, "That's the ticket!"
Wicked means more; and more hope can't be all that bad.

I guess what I'm saying is, you're "Wicked" nice.
Despite your talent, your wall is full of other people's "Hope".
Vanity is certainly not your choicest vice.
Empathy, perhaps, would better fit the scope.

Your story's still being written down; I'm not sure where that path will stray.
I don't know if it will end in fire or ice- or if either would suffice-
but were Robert Frost here, (and from my home town) he'd say
"I've heard the name. That chick's wicked dope."
Thanks for being Wicked Cool, Wicked Hope
I've been meaning to thank Wicked Hope for being such a caring and kind member of the community, particularly in regards to all the encouragement and empathy she's given me over the past week. Since the challenge is out, it might as well be a public thank you.

In the famous words of Ron Burgundy, "Stay Classy"
Cheers,

Steel
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