some people
just aren't meant to fit
like jamming a puzzle piece into the wrong slot
we collided
and we exploded
and we burst
and then we started over
and all i do with you is /want/
i want you to like me
i want you to love me
i want you to kiss me
i want you to call me yours
i want you to come back
i want you to talk to me
i want you to say you're sorry
i want you to hug me
i want you to kiss me
nothing is enough for me
and maybe i'm too selfish but
how can you blame me
when i see your lips 10 months later
and i can still taste the chapstick you were wearing
the night you kissed me

Friendly fire, friendly fire!
I cut the wires he's got some wires..
No undercover I'm under covers
I'm understanding and underlining
It's exasperated and *******
To my mind to orchestrate this life I'm living.
Always feeling wrong but it feels so good gripping  life from a tip to receive simething out of it
My suspicion is always before me and my sin has elevated
My lips are weary so my heart becomes like lemons.
Bright and radiant

Not much later, a patch of ivy crept up the side of my house, right above the garden bed nestled against the outer wall. I didn't worry about it at first, I treated it as an after thought until I noticed that it had eventually covered the whole side of my house. The thick ivy had cast a shadow over my little side garden and my black eyed susans were dying. I tended to them until my knees were bruised and my hands were matted with dirt, but I could not save them. They died. Eventually I grew used to the ivy; I grew to appreciate its unique beauty and held it in fondness, but I would never forget my beloved black eyed susans.

I realised I loved you
When I realised
That you're much more than the softest words,
Stitched together in smoothest cursive,
To produce the most beautiful poem.

You're much more than any word I could use to paint you with and though, the playfulness in your innocent smile deserves a chapter written all about it, you'll always be much more and nothing like the comparisons I use. And I admit it.

And when your decision to never write about me, slowly started making sense, that was when I realised I loved you.

I realised I loved you,
When you taught me
That most of the things I found romantic, are not really love. When you made me question the way I looked at you and through the crumbling foundations, I realised, that what they call love, is usually endless needing. And love does not always need, but love always  wants.

And love chooses. Love chooses to work hard for oneself, and for each other. Love decides to uplift itself. Love does not need you to be its walking stick or support. And I realised I loved you, when I decided to be what I needed from you, so you can see that I want you to stay around, for all your charms and wit and not because I'm a paralysed mess when you're gone.

I realised I loved you,
When I found that no people you love are supposed to be answers, or a destination to a long quest, no. You're not my favorite poetry, or my home, or a problem. But a person who I want to share these with. No, You're not the sun light filtering through the leaves, or the sound the water makes as it falls down a lake. You're not calmness personified and no, you're not some superhero looking for a maiden to help.

You're a human being. All sweat and farts, skin and bones, perfect moments and flaws. You're a human. And not a word I could twist around to shape any way I want.

You're messy handwriting, and heart beating for itself. I realised I love you, when I realised that my heart wanted to beat for itself too. And maybe, just maybe sometimes when we are together, our heart will beat in sync. Or not. It really does not matter. Cause we are much more than all of this.

Haiku #1

Snow falls thickly down
Transforming all evergreens
Into wedding cakes

Haiku #2

Winter stars glitter
Shattering dark winter skies
Shouting their silence